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My struggles with kedushah.
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TOPIC: My struggles with kedushah. 3019 Views

Re: My struggles with kedushah. 01 Sep 2024 18:29 #420547

  • yitzchokm
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You can ask chaim@guardyoureyes.com how long it typically takes to get a response and whether GYE can call you if they only find someone after the zman starts when you don't have internet access.

Re: My struggles with kedushah. 01 Sep 2024 18:54 #420552

hopefulswan89 wrote on 01 Sep 2024 17:22:

tzaddikvikam13 wrote on 01 Sep 2024 16:41:
I'm here because of my struggles with kedushah.
I posted here that I'm looking for help. Got a few replies. Mostly directing me to other people, who don't respond to my emails.
I mention that I have ADHD, and every thread that I've posted on blows up with suggestions, eitzos, and help.
Am I on the right site for inyanei kedusha?

Well maybe your expectations are too high. You only mention emailing. Did you try calling Michel?   Did you follow up with support asking for a mentor? Did you read the thread or the ebooks? If people are responding to your threads that’s good. The ball is in your court. You have to be willing to fight p and m. It won’t happen overnight, it may take time. Maybe your adhd wants an immediate solution to your problem which has developed over years. That is not realistic. 

Woah...
I'm not looking for or expecting instant results. I know that change takes hard work, little by little.
Don't know anyone with ADHD that thinks they can change themselves instantly.
Quote from one of my emails to the mentors around here: 'Even if I mean well, and am truly coming here to fix myself, I’m just going to end up fooling around, mostly spending my time on the forum. I’ll maybe watch some videos or read some books and articles, trying to improve, but I wont get any serious work done. I need a mentor to check in with & be accountable to, to keep myself focused & on track.'
That's why I'm trying so hard to get a mentor or partner, and that's what I'm frustrated about.

Re: My struggles with kedushah. 01 Sep 2024 22:09 #420560

  • frank.lee
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Welcome @tzadikvekam13 to the forum!!

Here we have thousands of people who had similar issues like you.

Did you sorry out the issue with the Linux computer on a different thread? 

Are you looking for practical tips to decrease m****? Did you download The Battle of the Generation? Reading even a small part of the book can help you make the struggle much easier.

Having a full schedule can help, in yeshiva and also on break. Maximize your day!

Realize that due to bein hazmanim, HHM and others may be behind on emails.

Re: My struggles with kedushah. 01 Sep 2024 22:45 #420561

  • livingagain
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frank.lee wrote on 01 Sep 2024 22:09:
Welcome @tzadikvekam13 to the forum!!

Here we have thousands of people who had similar issues like you.

Did you sorry out the issue with the Linux computer on a different thread? 

Are you looking for practical tips to decrease m****? Did you download The Battle of the Generation? Reading even a small part of the book can help you make the struggle much easier.

Having a full schedule can help, in yeshiva and also on break. Maximize your day!

Realize that due to bein hazmanim, HHM and others may be behind on emails.

He never said he was struggling with m. I think it’s watching his eyes

Re: My struggles with kedushah. 01 Sep 2024 23:05 #420562

  • yitzchokm
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hopefulswan89 wrote on 01 Sep 2024 22:45:

frank.lee wrote on 01 Sep 2024 22:09:
Welcome @tzadikvekam13 to the forum!!

Here we have thousands of people who had similar issues like you.

Did you sorry out the issue with the Linux computer on a different thread? 

Are you looking for practical tips to decrease m****? Did you download The Battle of the Generation? Reading even a small part of the book can help you make the struggle much easier.

Having a full schedule can help, in yeshiva and also on break. Maximize your day!

Realize that due to bein hazmanim, HHM and others may be behind on emails.

He never said he was struggling with m. I think it’s watching his eyes

Read the first post on this thread. How about you? Is there anything you are still struggling with or are you in the maintenance stage and you are only here to give others support, encouragement and advice? I am in the maintenance stage and it is great if that is where you are holding.
Last Edit: 01 Sep 2024 23:19 by yitzchokm.

Re: My struggles with kedushah. 02 Sep 2024 00:59 #420570

Did you sorry out the issue with the Linux computer on a different thread?


No. I just erased Linux from my computer and am waiting until someone can help me filter it to reinstall it.

Re: My struggles with kedushah. 02 Sep 2024 01:00 #420571

Are you looking for practical tips to decrease m****? Did you download The Battle of the Generation? Reading even a small part of the book can help you make the struggle much easier.


I'm looking for a partner or mentor to do it with.

Re: My struggles with kedushah. 02 Sep 2024 01:02 #420572

Realize that due to bein hazmanim, HHM and others may be behind on emails.


Thanks for telling me that.
I had no idea what's going on behind the scenes or why things are taking long.

Re: My struggles with kedushah. 02 Sep 2024 07:43 #420596

Stressed... need someone to talk to.

Re: My struggles with kedushah. 02 Sep 2024 08:07 #420597

  • Muttel
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It looks like I missed this powerful thread!

TV13, your pain and frustration resonates off the pages of your emotional thread! The difficulties of struggling and feeling as though there’s no end in sight…..

Heres a helping hand and word of encouragement. You can beat this brother….

Please feel free to reach out and a phone call would go a long way. I see you posted that you reached out to me. 

Please don’t give up on me! I try to respond to anyone who reaches out, but I don’t know who it is that reached out if they don’t introduce themselves…

If you’re down to speaking that’ll be the best…

See my number  in my signature.

Looking forward to connecting brother,
Muttel
We're in this struggle together; feel free to reach out! 
Muttel15@gmail.com

Feel free to call/text! (908) 251-9590 (google)

Check out my thread here: guardyoureyes.com/forum/19-Introduce-Yourself/413043-My-ENTIRE-story#413043
Last Edit: 02 Sep 2024 13:21 by Muttel.

Re: My struggles with kedushah. 02 Sep 2024 13:00 #420599

  • cande
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tzaddikvikam13 wrote on 28 Aug 2024 00:52:
I'm a yeshiva bochur in beis medrash.
I've been struggling with m********ing for the past few years. I hated it from the beginning and tried stopping multiple times with seforim on inyanei kedushah, and kabalos with knasos, but I never had long term success. 
Over time, I've stooped to other very low thingsNOT because I had a taavah for these other things, but because one thing leads to the next. As soon as I would manage to keep sober from m********ing for a short period, these other taavos would disappear.
I'm not addicted to p****, but I'm not completely clean from it either. On the street I think I have the regular struggles of a yeshiva bochur, I try to take off my glasses before I go outside, sometimes mistakenly (or not mistakenly) see something and try to get a better look. I never had any serious taavah for pictures of p****, never found any hana'ah in pixels, but I have slipped sometimes, more out of boredom than out of taavah.
Over the past couple few  years, I've been struggling a lot in yeshivah, and while there are other things in my life that can be causing it, I feel that my slips in these areas are destroying my ruchnius.
I right now have an unfiltered computer with Linux, which isn't easy to filter. If you have any experience with Linux or the bash terminal, PLEASE HELP ME!!
I'm looking to partner with a yeshiva bochur who has similar struggles, and with a yeshiva bochur who has gotten past such struggles.

can you clarify?
"I've stooped to other very low things"
  things??
you dont have a taava for those thing??
you dont have taava for pics of pixels of nude women??
you only look @ porn when you bump into when your bored??
Last Edit: 02 Sep 2024 14:26 by cande.

Re: My struggles with kedushah. 02 Sep 2024 13:40 #420602

hey, hopefulposek, you here?

Re: My struggles with kedushah. 02 Sep 2024 14:05 #420607

  • livingagain
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cande wrote on 02 Sep 2024 13:00:

tzaddikvikam13 wrote on 28 Aug 2024 00:52:
I'm a yeshiva bochur in beis medrash.
I've been struggling with m********ing for the past few years. I hated it from the beginning and tried stopping multiple times with seforim on inyanei kedushah, and kabalos with knasos, but I never had long term success. 
Over time, I've stooped to other very low thingsNOT because I had a taavah for these other things, but because one thing leads to the next. As soon as I would manage to keep sober from m********ing for a short period, these other taavos would disappear.
I'm not addicted to p****, but I'm not completely clean from it either. On the street I think I have the regular struggles of a yeshiva bochur, I try to take off my glasses before I go outside, sometimes mistakenly (or not mistakenly) see something and try to get a better look. I never had any serious taavah for pictures of p****, never found any hana'ah in pixels, but I have slipped sometimes, more out of boredom than out of taavah.
Over the past couple few  years, I've been struggling a lot in yeshivah, and while there are other things in my life that can be causing it, I feel that my slips in these areas are destroying my ruchnius.
I right now have an unfiltered computer with Linux, which isn't easy to filter. If you have any experience with Linux or the bash terminal, PLEASE HELP ME!!
I'm looking to partner with a yeshiva bochur who has similar struggles, and with a yeshiva bochur who has gotten past such struggles.

can you clarify?
"I've stooped to other very low things"
  things??
you dont have a taava for those thing??
you dont have taava for pics of pixels of nude women??
you only look @ porn when you bump into when your bored??

Why are you beating up on him? 

Re: My struggles with kedushah. 02 Sep 2024 14:12 #420608

  • BenHashemBH
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Shalom Brother HopefulSwan,
Reb Cande is trying to help by getting clarification from TzadikVekam. This can help him get to the root of his situation and address it accurately.

The tone is Cande's style. Not defending it but making it known that it's not intending to be aggressive.

Kol tov
Today is yesterday's tomorrow.
The yetzarim a person has the most trouble dealing with are his most powerful God-given tools for developing his potential and achieving shleimus.
In order to love who you are, you cannot hate the experiences that shaped you.
It doesn't matter how big the number is, only that today it is going up by one.

A little about what I'm doing here: guardyoureyes.com/forum/19-Introduce-Yourself/412971-I-Want-to-Help-Others
Last Edit: 02 Sep 2024 14:14 by BenHashemBH.

Re: My struggles with kedushah. 02 Sep 2024 14:37 #420613

  • yitzchokm
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hopefulswan89 wrote on 02 Sep 2024 14:05:

cande wrote on 02 Sep 2024 13:00:

tzaddikvikam13 wrote on 28 Aug 2024 00:52:
I'm a yeshiva bochur in beis medrash.
I've been struggling with m********ing for the past few years. I hated it from the beginning and tried stopping multiple times with seforim on inyanei kedushah, and kabalos with knasos, but I never had long term success. 
Over time, I've stooped to other very low thingsNOT because I had a taavah for these other things, but because one thing leads to the next. As soon as I would manage to keep sober from m********ing for a short period, these other taavos would disappear.
I'm not addicted to p****, but I'm not completely clean from it either. On the street I think I have the regular struggles of a yeshiva bochur, I try to take off my glasses before I go outside, sometimes mistakenly (or not mistakenly) see something and try to get a better look. I never had any serious taavah for pictures of p****, never found any hana'ah in pixels, but I have slipped sometimes, more out of boredom than out of taavah.
Over the past couple few  years, I've been struggling a lot in yeshivah, and while there are other things in my life that can be causing it, I feel that my slips in these areas are destroying my ruchnius.
I right now have an unfiltered computer with Linux, which isn't easy to filter. If you have any experience with Linux or the bash terminal, PLEASE HELP ME!!
I'm looking to partner with a yeshiva bochur who has similar struggles, and with a yeshiva bochur who has gotten past such struggles.

can you clarify?
"I've stooped to other very low things"
  things??
you dont have a taava for those thing??
you dont have taava for pics of pixels of nude women??
you only look @ porn when you bump into when your bored??

Why are you beating up on him? 

I sent you a PM but it doesn't seem like you are able to read it. It seems that your posts are coming across as aggressive or judgmental. It seems to me that you are trying to help people but this doesn't seem to be the way it is being perceived. It would help a lot if you would be able to give people advice based on your experience in recovery rather than scrutinizing and judging people's posts. I assume you are unaware of how your posts come across so I am writing this.

Also, I think it would be beneficial if you open a thread and write what your original struggles were. You have over 500 days clean so I assume you are in the maintenance stage but I think it may be hurting people to see a newcomer who doesn't seem to be struggling and who we don't know that he ever was like one of us preaching from the podium. If you had a previous username and you don't want people to identify it then write about your struggles in general terms in a way that your previous username can't be identified but at least write what behavior you were struggling with.

I see that you have negative karma and I am writing this as constructive criticism. I am sure that you are a very good person and you are here either to help others or so that you don't fall or both. Every new person is a blessing to the community and it is good that we have you. I am trying to give you advice so that you can post in a meaningful way that people will find helpful. Thank you very much for your understanding and please keep posting. All the best.
Last Edit: 02 Sep 2024 14:48 by yitzchokm.
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