I'm a yeshiva bochur in beis medrash.
I've been struggling with m********ing for the past few years. I hated it from the beginning and tried stopping multiple times with seforim on inyanei kedushah, and kabalos with knasos, but I never had long term success.
Over time,
I've stooped to other very low things,
NOT because I had a
taavah for these other things, but because one thing leads to the next. As soon as I would manage to keep sober from m********ing for a short period, these other
taavos would disappear.
I'm not addicted to p****, but I'm not completely clean from it either. On the street I think I have the regular struggles of a yeshiva bochur, I try to take off my glasses before I go outside, sometimes mistakenly (or not mistakenly) see something and try to get a better look.
I never had any serious taavah for pictures of p****, never found any hana'ah in pixels, but I have slipped sometimes, more out of
boredom than out of
taavah.
Over the past couple few years,
I've been struggling a lot in yeshivah, and while there are other things in my life that can be causing it, I feel that my slips in these areas are destroying my ruchnius.
I right now have an unfiltered computer with Linux,
which isn't easy to filter. If you have any experience with Linux or the bash terminal,
PLEASE HELP ME!!
I'm looking to partner with a yeshiva bochur who has similar struggles, and with a yeshiva bochur who has gotten past such struggles.