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Re: My ENTIRE story 24 Dec 2024 18:23 #427856

  • chosemyshem
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Bennyh wrote on 24 Dec 2024 17:52:

נמצינו למדים, כי עיקר מציאות האדם בעולם הזה הוא רק לקיים מצוות ולעבוד ולעמוד בנסיון, והנאות העולם אין ראוי שיהיו לו אלא לעזר ולסיוע בלבד לשיהיה לו נחת רוח וישוב דעת למען יוכל לפנות לבו אל העבודה הזאת המוטלת עליו.

(מסילת ישרים פרק א)


דְּרָכֶ֥יהָ דַרְכֵי־נֹ֑עַם וְֽכׇל־נְתִ֖יבוֹתֶ֣יהָ שָׁלֽוֹם

Shteit "adam l'amel yuled". A person is not here to have fun, they're here to work.
Doesn't say "adam l'suffer yuled".

Re: My ENTIRE story 24 Dec 2024 18:27 #427857

  • bennyh
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I’m always down for a good game of semantics.

Re: My ENTIRE story 26 Dec 2024 17:27 #428023

  • SisonYishecha
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chosemyshem wrote on 23 Dec 2024 00:35:

SisonYishecha wrote on 22 Dec 2024 23:53:
As usual I came late to the party. But as others have noted already I have also experienced that even after strengthening ourselves in areas of kedusha the challenges in other areas of our life only get greater. 

There is no finish line, only an endless mountain that we're destined to attempt climb...

While I don't necessarily disagree with the sentiment, the way you wrote it sounded so painful. Someone once said, "Life is suffering". Unfortunately that was Buddha - not exactly one of our chachomim.


I didn't make any mention of pain in what I wrote, though I can't say that  disagree with your כוח הנבואה, nor with what you read between the lines. 

While it's nice to philosophize and ponder the meaning of life, it remains in the realm of theological debate. I'm definitely rooting for all those that manage to utilize תורה ומצוות for the purpose of יישוב הדעת and live with the words of the Mesilas Yesharim.

What I wrote is from life experience, and there's no way to to debate reality.

Re: My ENTIRE story 09 Jan 2025 15:15 #428791

  • Muttel
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It's been a while since I've posted about meeting some of our dear Yedidim on GYE:

They met on a frigid morning embracing tightly as though they've been close friends for decades;
His piercing eyes and warm smile conveying so much more any eloquent words could.
With tremendous 
Siyatta Dishmaya, we've together grown so much and reached deep levels of understanding.
The precious minutes passed as though in an instant - the deep bond and love felt.
That meeting cemented the bond unique to GYE brothers.....


Siyatta, you're an inspiration!! Your persistence, kindness, and drive to grow leaves me feeling so fortunate to have gotten to know you....

With overflowing brotherly love,
Muttel
We're in this struggle together; feel free to reach out! 
Muttel15@gmail.com

Feel free to call/text! (908) 251-9590 (google)

Check out my thread here: guardyoureyes.com/forum/19-Introduce-Yourself/413043-My-ENTIRE-story#413043

Re: My ENTIRE story 19 Feb 2025 14:13 #431640

  • Muttel
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It struck me this morning that last week was my 40th week, the completion of the creation of child...

I feel reborn, having been helped immeasurably by our chaveirim here, so close to my heart. I have no words with which to thank each and every one of you. The greatest thank you I can offer is by giving of myself to others so that they can see that they too can be released from this prison that was heretofore seemingly impossible to escape from....

Here's wishing all of the thousands of strugglers a victory over this damned beast and a life filled with kedusha and bracha.

With a heart melting from unbridled love,
Muttel
We're in this struggle together; feel free to reach out! 
Muttel15@gmail.com

Feel free to call/text! (908) 251-9590 (google)

Check out my thread here: guardyoureyes.com/forum/19-Introduce-Yourself/413043-My-ENTIRE-story#413043

Re: My ENTIRE story 26 Feb 2025 10:54 #432101

  • Muttel
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Just wanted to post a win - in the hope others can find some chizzuk from it.

I needed to make a phone call from a particular number and discovered that it was an unfiltered flip phone. Additionally, I was alone with this device and potentially could’ve been alone with it for many hours yesterday through EOD today. 

Im happy to report that I texted someone for accountability and made the phone muktze for me outside that one call. I didn’t touch the phone since. (There’s a lot to say about this - the posture of how to be excited to win, at what point these measures need to be taken, and the work put in to make it possible. I don’t have the time now, but hope to expound at a later date. Of course, please feel free to share what you feel would make these victories possible….)

This is my first lengthy rendezvous with an unfiltered device since I started here 295 days ago. 

I can’t thank everyone here enough, and of course, most importantly, Hashem, for saving me from the muck and the grime, making my avoda sublime…..

Heres my deepest hopes, wishes, and prayers for all our brothers here to have sustained success with this damned foe and precious avoda…..

With a ton of brotherly love,
Muttel
We're in this struggle together; feel free to reach out! 
Muttel15@gmail.com

Feel free to call/text! (908) 251-9590 (google)

Check out my thread here: guardyoureyes.com/forum/19-Introduce-Yourself/413043-My-ENTIRE-story#413043
Last Edit: 26 Feb 2025 10:57 by Muttel.

Re: My ENTIRE story 26 Feb 2025 14:44 #432110

  • amevakesh
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רמב"ם הלכות תשובה פ"ב ה"א
אֵי זוֹ הִיא תְּשׁוּבָה גְמוּרָה - זֶה שֶׁבָּא לְיָדוֹ דָּבָר שֶׁעָבַר בּוֹ, וְאֶפְשָׁר בְּיָדוֹ לַעֲשׂוֹתוֹ, וּפֵרַשׁ וְלֹא עָשָׂה מִפְּנֵי הַתְּשׁוּבָה; לֹא מִיִּרְאָה וְלֹא מִכִּשְׁלוֹן כֹּחַ. כֵּיצַד הֲרֵי שֶׁבָּא עַל אִשָּׁה בַּעֲבֵרָה וּלְאַחַר זְמַן נִתְיַחֵד עִמָּהּ, וְהוּא עוֹמֵד בְּאַהֲבָתוֹ בָּהּ וּבְכֹחַ גּוּפוֹ וּבַמְּדִינָה שֶׁעָבַר בָּהּ, וּפֵרַשׁ וְלֹא עָבַר - זֶהוּ בַּעַל תְּשׁוּבָה גְמוּרָה.
Feel free to email me at amevakesh23@gmail.com

Re: My ENTIRE story 03 Mar 2025 20:04 #432322

  • Muttel
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300 days for me today.

I distinctly remember talking to HHM when I hit 30 days (it was an Erev Shabbos) and he told me "30 days, 300 days, and 3000 days are all the same". 

I've BH reached the 300-day plateau. I await hitting the 3000-day plateau in 2700 days!!!! 

With a ton of brotherly love to all,
Muttel
We're in this struggle together; feel free to reach out! 
Muttel15@gmail.com

Feel free to call/text! (908) 251-9590 (google)

Check out my thread here: guardyoureyes.com/forum/19-Introduce-Yourself/413043-My-ENTIRE-story#413043

Re: My ENTIRE story 28 Apr 2025 19:49 #435134

  • Muttel
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Today marks the completion of a year for me (I began this journey of aliya א' אייר תשפ"ד).

I can't put into words what this year has meant to me - both in getting clean, working on my insides, helping others, and seeing my struggle and subsequent wins (wins and struggles are still coming, עד מאה ועשרים) as a source of pride. I feel both as though I've been here forever (and known my GYE friends forever) and as though I've just come - knowing I can never assume this struggle is over and boundaries can be relaxed - אל תאמין בעצמך עד יום מותך. The change I've undergone is that I've learned to accept this - accept that I will always need to text a chaver when I'm alone with a device or any other קדושה compromised circumstance, and that's ok. It's ok to be wary of this struggle for life, as a lifelong healthy male with normal urges I am and will be...

Friends, I have so much more to write, but I don't have the clarity, my screen keeps getting blurry.........................

Signing off with a heart bursting with love for each and every one of you, with thanks for such special friendships, and with hope for an even brighter future, bringing קדושה וטהרה into the world each and every day,
Muttel

P.S. my heart bursts most thinking of my friends that fight, fall, fight, fall, fight, fall, etc... My most heartfelt hope for sustained success in your respective battles....
We're in this struggle together; feel free to reach out! 
Muttel15@gmail.com

Feel free to call/text! (908) 251-9590 (google)

Check out my thread here: guardyoureyes.com/forum/19-Introduce-Yourself/413043-My-ENTIRE-story#413043
Last Edit: 28 Apr 2025 20:39 by Muttel.

Re: My ENTIRE story 28 Apr 2025 19:53 #435135

  • daverose
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Wow Mazel Tov! unbelievable. Im proud to have you as a mentor. May you be zoicha to many more years!

Re: My ENTIRE story 29 Apr 2025 01:12 #435143

  • chaimoigen
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Hearing your voice…. And you hearing mine…. Thinking about it makes me emotional. 
Thinking about you, Muttel, makes me emotional. 

I’ll repost this poem.


I once knew a prince with armor so bright, 
His brown eyes were wellsprings of truth,
He poured over volumes, he swayed in delight,
An image of wholesomeness, youth. 

But the dragon of darkness unfurled his black scales,
and wrapped him in venomous coils, 
choking in seething and shadowy tales,
his pure heart was vanquished and soiled.

Until came the great day that he rose up in fire, 
like a phoenix, was born from his ashes,
The white flame of his heart lances out to inspire - 
A legend to uplift the masses! 

He lept in with fervor, disregarding the shame, 
Candid and eager for learning, 
With friendship and warmth meeting one then another, 
His Neshona so passionately burning.

Your Talmidim are lucky, their hope is reborn, 
They feel you relate to their pain,
with love and compassion their journey you chart, 
To rejoice in Tahara again! 

Oh Muttel - a prince you were ever, it’s true
With a spirit that yearns to soar free
So it fills me with joy to see you reclaim you
And to embrace your sublime destiny !! 

And now, ever higher, you soar on broad wings, 
Your warm heart as huge as the sky- 
A paladin’s quest to embrace and support, 
And raise אידיש קינדער up High. 

Old friend rediscovered, the chapters untold, 
Now tell the ENTIRE Story, 
Admiring eyes look to Bentch you with Ahava, 
Keep going, ever upwards, to Glory!

בצפייתך לישועה, ידידי, קיימת באהבה ״אלמדה פושעים דרכים וחטאים אליך ישובו״, וגם ״השיבה לי ששון ישעיך ורוח נדיבה תסמכני״  יה״ר שימלא כל משאלות לבבך הטובה במידה טובה ישועה ורחמים!

Onwards , Upwards, and Outwards, Muttel, 

מאן דבעי חיים

Please feel free to reach out anytime at chaim.oigen@gmail.com

Perhaps you'd enjoy seeing Chaim's Oigen
Last Edit: 29 Apr 2025 15:34 by chaimoigen.

Re: My ENTIRE story 29 Apr 2025 15:24 #435159

  • Muttel
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Thank You Reb Chaim,

That fateful Friday call (we know each other very well..) will remain forever etched in my heart and mind................
This poem as well touched me more than anything else in this hallowed space (and that's saying a lot considering all the heartfelt posts....).....

It's so comforting to have old friendships rekindled and stronger than ever... as we all look to bond with each other in order to better bond our ultimate friendship (ואהבת לרעך כמוך) with The Best Friend we all have......
We're in this struggle together; feel free to reach out! 
Muttel15@gmail.com

Feel free to call/text! (908) 251-9590 (google)

Check out my thread here: guardyoureyes.com/forum/19-Introduce-Yourself/413043-My-ENTIRE-story#413043
Last Edit: 29 Apr 2025 15:26 by Muttel.

Re: My ENTIRE story 29 Apr 2025 16:04 #435160

  • amevakesh
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Mazel Tov! Hard to remember what GYE was like before you here. So many people were touched by your warmth. Your heart, so caring, so compassionate, so truly empathetic, so overflowing with love, embracing all that need an listening ear, an understanding mind, a shoulder to cry on, and most of all a good friend. You've been an inspiration for so many of us, not only for how much you do for others, but how you do it. Real love, real caring, real empathy. I know, that every time you sign off "with a heart overflowing with love", you mean it without exaggeration. We know it, we feel it, and the love  is mutual.

With love and admiration,
Amevakesh
Feel free to email me at amevakesh23@gmail.com

Re: My ENTIRE story 30 Apr 2025 23:36 #435254

  • chosemyshem
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Muttel wrote on 28 Apr 2025 19:49:
Today marks the completion of a year for me (I began this journey of aliya א' אייר תשפ"ד).

I can't put into words what this year has meant to me - both in getting clean, working on my insides, helping others, and seeing my struggle and subsequent wins (wins and struggles are still coming, עד מאה ועשרים) as a source of pride. I feel both as though I've been here forever (and known my GYE friends forever) and as though I've just come - knowing I can never assume this struggle is over and boundaries can be relaxed - אל תאמין בעצמך עד יום מותך. The change I've undergone is that I've learned to accept this - accept that I will always need to text a chaver when I'm alone with a device or any other קדושה compromised circumstance, and that's ok. It's ok to be wary of this struggle for life, as a lifelong healthy male with normal urges I am and will be...

Friends, I have so much more to write, but I don't have the clarity, my screen keeps getting blurry.........................

Signing off with a heart bursting with love for each and every one of you, with thanks for such special friendships, and with hope for an even brighter future, bringing קדושה וטהרה into the world each and every day,
Muttel

P.S. my heart bursts most thinking of my friends that fight, fall, fight, fall, fight, fall, etc... My most heartfelt hope for sustained success in your respective battles....

^ This truck has rocket engines.

Re: My ENTIRE story 01 May 2025 20:45 #435303

  • diamondwithaflaw
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@ Muttel, 

I don't usually read threads in this section, but yours is quite inspiring. I have FOMO that we have not met yet. 

Wishing you much continued success! 

P.S. How long do you think Judge can keep up a batting average over 400? Remarkable. You know a couple years back when he was getting injured every other day I was so sure that he would be another David Right story. Incredible talent, but just doesn't have the mental stamina it takes to play in the big leagues (let alone in NY) but I have to say he has proven me wrong. Kol Hakavod to him. 
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