hey guys, sorry to be the bearer of bad news...

after a geshmake 22 day streak, i fell on Friday, and then again on motze shabbos.
i had an old Iphone that I didn't use, but then i used it to help someone, and the next day i already used it for porn. bh it wasn't too bad a fall, (not too long or intense) but a fall it was. then on motze shabbos i did it again. again not too bad, but i have to be honest w myself and recognize that i fell.

22 days. that's the longest i've been since joining gye. such a sweet feeling...
I'm starting again (or continuing?) and looking forward to nocking down the days. hope they go by fast.

thank you all for being there, and i hope you have a good week.
hatzlacha!

Thank you for sharing and being honest, One day at a time my friend, There are only 2 ranks here on GYE sober and not sober and sobriety takes 24hrs, My sponsor told me after I fell last, to be safe for the next 24hrs. 

I just read the whole forum, I saw your original post. You sound very genuine of a person. I personally share in that way and I find I am sober (though I need SA) I hope you find that you can stop using this platform, keep coming back and sharing with us.

Hey, sorry to hear about your fall. It seems like you have the right perspective about it, though. You were able to get right back up and make a fresh start. Feel free to reach out if there's any other way we can help you. Looking forward to hearing your news tomorrow.
P.S. I'm just wondering what you did about that old phone. Do you still have it?

You are blessed that you felt that sweet taste, and beH you'll keep trucking and get to taste that sweet taste many times over and over. 22 holy days, shining forever and yours for all eternity!

hey guys, thanks for being there, and thanks for all the chizuk.

here's the second part of the story:
after a light fall Friday, and then another on motze shabbos, i was chatting w a couple guys who were being m'orer me to get rid of my old phone. one guy in particular was pushing me.
thing is i was able to trade in the phone for like 2/300$. it wasn't so much about the money, but more about giving up an opportunity to make a buck. also i had data on that phone that i still wanted to restore. my thought process was that i'll trade it in within the next couple days, and for that amount of time i'd be able to control myself.

l'maase this guy i was chatting with was persistent. he told me things that i already knew but had to hear, and was pushing me to just smash the phone. finally he offered me a hundred bucks to break it. we ended up w a deal that if i send him a picture of the phone smashed he'll give 100$ to tzedaka. he said he felt that if he helps me stay off of p&m it can be a tikkun for him, and that he hopes i'll be there for him when he needs it. isn't that special?

now i dont want to be a phone smasher (anyone read the mishpacha pesach story supplement?) and i'm uncomfortable breaking things, but here i was bringing a wrench down on my phone... i did it reluctantly, but afterwards breathed i sigh of relief. hopefully the next glass i break will be followed by mazal tov.
please hashem b'karov.

Horizon wrote on 26 Apr 2023 04:54:

There is a very special yeshiva in Monsey called Ohr Yisrael in Monsey that has a shelf with dozens of smashed smartphones, tablets, and even an aftermarket head  unit from a car (the screens with internet access, backup cam, YouTube, browser etc). 

I’ve been there when a device was smashed. They make a big Simcha out of it. The guys who smash end up on such a high of coming close to Hashem they throw themselves into learning and working on middot and become amazing people. 

you did something amazing! 

i don’t know what article you are referring to but I wouldn’t take hashkafa tips from a magazine, even (especially) one for the Jewish market. People read it for entertainment, not to become more sensitive toward spiritual growth…

kol hakavod!

iLoveHashem247 wrote on 26 Apr 2023 12:44:

and here i thought that was the purpose and mission of gye

Horizon wrote on 26 Apr 2023 04:54:

Wow! Beautiful! It's stories like these that make it worthwhile to keep on visiting GYE. Here we have two "simple" Yidden who just did some unbelievable things. One pushed aside his discomfort to smash his Y"H, and the other one paid money to give his friend the extra push. Thank you for sharing this. 

As typical as the story is, it's still inspiring that you are trying and taking the steps now.
Nice to have "met you".
Hatzlacha!

vayimaenyosef1398 wrote on 27 Apr 2023 03:21:

if only it would become a little more typical!

horizon! that took true strength keep it up buddy! ur a hero!

Horizon wrote on 26 Apr 2023 04:54:

Awesome! That feeling of relief when the decision is out of your hands. The torment takes a tiny break.

I know how you feel. I had the same situation with an old phone. Same excuses, data, value etc. Guess what I did? Yup! Smashed it too! But I used a hammer...

Grant400 wrote on 28 Apr 2023 01:19:

How can we make this more of a thing?

Also, what phone did you switch to?

How do we make it more of a thing? One person at a time, my friend. Are YOU in?

B"h nowadays you can get almost everything you really need on a tagged flip phone!