Grodno would be a veeerrrry different town - had HHM never showed up.

Long live the "Guarditichiver Rebbe!"

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Today I get a double mazal tov!
1) Today I am clean for 180 days!
2) Today I was zoche to make a bris for my son!
Coincidence...? you decide...
P'gam bris... Tikkun Bris...

Amazing! Double Mazeltov!!! BH many more simchas!

gettingthere9 wrote on 24 Nov 2021 01:14:

Mazal tov! Mazal tov! 
Amazing hashgacha pratis and chizzuk. 
It shows that you love Hashem and Hashem loves you.
May you be able to keep on going strong and you should have loads of nachas!

Mazel Tov on both simchas! Looks like Hashem sent you a "smile" with the timing....

a bris is not another mitzva.

everybody needs to do mitzvas but a bris is only if you are blessed to get a son, you cant do anything to make it a boy no matter how hard you try, so making a bris is like hashem saying my beloved gettingthere9 i love you so much that i choose you to do a service for me.

It's been 4 weeks since Hashem blessed me with a healthy wonderful baby boy. It has also been 4 weeks since I was able to be together with my wife. (Go figure... coincidence...)
Although it's been very hard at times, one thing became much clearer to me, that even being clean for 6 months couldn't teach me.
Pushing aside a ta'avah by saying "I could do it 'kosher' tonight" perhaps helps in the moment but really just pushes the can a bit down the road. Gimmicks and tricks do help as emergency first aid to get you to the hospital, but you really need more long term treatment. 
Knowing that I wont be able to do anything for at least 6 weeks (and a true commitment to stay clean till then) made me realize that I can live without sex. Even the Kosher version of it.
Yes I have hard days and some days I feel like I want to just give up. But its really about the fact that 'Hey, I really can live without it perfectly fine.'
(I know it pales in comparison to others that can't be with their wife for other reasons and for much longer... no comparison, and I truly feel for you guys.)

Mazel Tov. May Hashem give you much nachas from him and may he be raised in a home that the Shechina is present in; one that is safe, happy, healthy, and protected b'ezras Hashem from these nisyonos.

In response to your observation - Yes, that is the key - one can live a happy fulfilling life without sex. As pleasurable as sex is, it is not a necessity. There are bochurim on (and off) the site that are simply clean for years. Some of these guys were heavy "participants" before and BH broke free. They are happy and have menuchas hanefesh. From time to time they miss that experience, but they just say "NO".

Married guys in situations where the wife is off limits for whatever reason, struggle with a second issue. They miss the warmth, the intimacy, the hug. Those are healthy feelings, and that is what should be focused on when she becomes mutar again. If that first opportunity, after the few weeks, is used correctly, you will have invested in your iyh complete refuah from this garbage. Yes, iyh you will have sex; but it will be as a celebration of intimacy, with self control and giving, as opposed to a desperate selfish need to ejaculate in a "kosher" setting. And the reward is an extremely different pleasure. Instead of the neon light of pornographic sex, it will be the sunrise of the "real thing". Hatzlocha!

I just fell last week.
It was a long journey.
One that started around Shavuos time and lasted for over 8 months.
One that taught me how to look at this challenge.
One that showed me that this is something I can overcome.
One that taught me that I can live without realizing these fantasies.
A journey that was far from easy, 
A journey that is far from over.
This is a lifelong journey.

So... besides the 'The 244 days will always be yours and you don't lose it...'
I have gained so much. And as I start the next leg of my journey, I am in a different world then when I started.

You are an inspiration. I am 3 months in and my biggest fear is that I will fall back to where I was. The fact that you can have a fall and get right back up shows how far you have come. Wishing you continued Hatzlocha.

We really have to rethink the mindset of "falling back to where I was" & looking at streaks as a reflection of our self. 

The idea of the 90 day chart is to be used as a TOOL to help a person gain self control. Restarting the chart does not indicate anything about the person's status in the struggle or in any other area on life. 

The numbers that we see on the chart can be so misleading if we don't read them correctly. 

Here is a summary of my point:

• When a person has a fall he does not lose anything that he gained
• After a fall, simply get up and continue from where you left off
• Falls are erasable, but every time we pass a test it's a Kinyan that's ours to keep forever
• It's not all or nothing. The notion that we must always succeed actually turns us into easy prey for our Yetzer Hara.

I understand that in theory. Sometimes the theory doesn’t translate into real life as it should. (Especially when I am feeling down). Posts like the one above by gettingthere9 help reinforce the idea in a practical way.  

gettingthere9 wrote on 31 Jan 2022 19:47:

Congrads on 244 days!

Keep on climbing up and up and don't ever look back!

gettingthere9 wrote on 31 Jan 2022 19:47:

244! That is incredible!
I had a similar fall a couple of months ago and I can say it was absolutely painful. 
It doesn't mean all is lost nor does it mean you have be depressed rather perhaps its a time to reflect on where you are holding..How far you've come and recommit to your goals.

You got to 244 once....you can do it again!
Keep being an inspiration to us all!

I fell again. so much for getting right back up.
I don't have the same drive as before.
I thought I would truly never masturbate ever again.
I am still human.
I think that, that mindset is a big part of what got me to where I am though.
Just instead of 'I never do it ever again'
I should do 'It is possible for me to... never do it ever again'
Any tips welcome...