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TOPIC: growing higher 4937 Views

Re: growing higher 30 Jul 2021 23:49 #371315

  • gettingthere9
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I was wondering... 
What would happen if I act out right now...
What would happen?
Was thinking this the whole shower...
I really want to just do it again already....
It's been sooo long...
Lots of stuff floating around my brain now...
I have a good streak so...
Most people dont make it to 90 on their first try...
I have no fear of posting here that i fell, for i know that I would only get chizzuk and support...
Nu..... 
But lemaysa... I didn't do it.
How could I ??
I DONT DO THIS STUFF ANYMORE... DON'T YOU REMEMBER????
Granted I'm going through some bumps now...
BUT that doesn't chang who I am.
I have a new 'red line' which does not include acting out.
Hope for the best Prepare for the worst

Re: growing higher 01 Aug 2021 17:30 #371344

  • wilnevergiveup
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Even if there is a moment that you don't care about falling just know that we all care. We are rooting for you and your struggle is ours too. If you don't care to post a fall, you should know that we do and we all want to see you succeed. There is nothing wrong with not making it to 90 on your first try but there is nothing wrong with being one of the few who make it on the first try either. 

Stresses are difficult, the trick is to plan in advance, something that I didn't do and felt the consequences. Ever situation calls for a different plan and figuring out what works when can take some trial and error. Don't let yourself down when things get hectic, instead tell yourself that if you can get through this you can get through anything. 

Keep it up! 
Check out My Thread and The Truth

(עשה רצונו כרצונך (אבות,ב:ד

Feel free to email me  wilnevergiveupgye@gmail.com

Re: growing higher 06 Aug 2021 15:06 #371483

  • gettingthere9
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70 Days!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 Thank you Hashem !!!!!!
Hope for the best Prepare for the worst

Re: growing higher 06 Aug 2021 16:28 #371485

  • dave m
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Just read through your thread.  very impressed with your growth and fight.  Keep it up and keep posting.  Even if no one responds, know that many people are reading and getting inspired.  It also helps document your journey. 

Re: growing higher 25 Aug 2021 00:33 #371869

  • gettingthere9
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2 days till 90!!!
The past few weeks I didn't have access to internet. (We just moved and decided to wait a little before getting in our new place)
Was very liberating actually...
Just got internet today (needed for my wife's collage and her job) bh still hanging in there!
I had an interesting observation which perhaps shows the growth of the last 3 months or so.
Before I started here when I had wet dreams many times it used to be me masturbating to something in the dream. Now That doesn't  happen anymore. (Still have wet dreams... but with 'regular' stuff)
Anyways IYH Thursday we will be celebrating 90 days with steaks.
You are all invited to the BBQ.
If your neighbor is grilling steaks on Thursday he may very well be me...
(Especially if he just moved in...)
Hope for the best Prepare for the worst

Re: growing higher 25 Aug 2021 04:26 #371883

  • Hashem Help Me
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So what are you doing to prorect yourself and your family after the steaks are digested? What filter will be in place for day 91 and on? And maybe schedule your next celebration for the day after Isru Chag Sukkos. Imagine a clean Selichos, Rosh HaShana, Yom Kipur, Sukkos/ Hoshana Rabba, Simchas Torah. And the to come off all those soecial days clean.....
Feel free to contact me at michelgelner@gmail.com

My threads: Lessons Learned: guardyoureyes.com/forum/20-Important-Threads/335248-Lessons-Learned

                    My Story and G-d Bless GYE: guardyoureyes.com/forum/17-Balei-Battims-Forum/303036-My-story-and-G-d-bless-GYE

Re: growing higher 25 Aug 2021 12:42 #371890

  • wilnevergiveup
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Hashem Help Me wrote on 25 Aug 2021 04:26:
So what are you doing to prorect yourself and your family after the steaks are digested? What filter will be in place for day 91 and on? And maybe schedule your next celebration for the day after Isru Chag Sukkos. Imagine a clean Selichos, Rosh HaShana, Yom Kipur, Sukkos/ Hoshana Rabba, Simchas Torah. And the to come off all those soecial days clean.....

HHM, first you have to RSVP for the party then we can talk about fitting you in amongst the various speakers... 
Check out My Thread and The Truth

(עשה רצונו כרצונך (אבות,ב:ד

Feel free to email me  wilnevergiveupgye@gmail.com

Re: growing higher 26 Aug 2021 00:48 #371903

  • gettingthere9
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Hashem Help Me wrote on 25 Aug 2021 04:26:
So what are you doing to prorect yourself and your family after the steaks are digested? What filter will be in place for day 91 and on? And maybe schedule your next celebration for the day after Isru Chag Sukkos. Imagine a clean Selichos, Rosh HaShana, Yom Kipur, Sukkos/ Hoshana Rabba, Simchas Torah. And the to come off all those soecial days clean.....

 Our computers are (and have been for the past few years) filtered with gentech and I don't have passwords to the computers so I only have access when my wife is around. Thanx for your concern. If not I would be a goner... 
And yes I was planning on trying to aim for another 90 days but that may be a better idea... Baby steps. 
Hope for the best Prepare for the worst

Re: growing higher 26 Aug 2021 00:56 #371904

  • gettingthere9
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What does 90 days mean for me? (And what changed since before, when It was always 'impossible'?)
It means that I can do it.
It means that if there is a plan it is possible and if there is no plan then I am pretty much hopeless.
I have to be honest with myself now because I have accountability to post. Reading other people's day to day struggles sometimes allows me to objectively see my own struggles with the proper glasses and also gives  me a glimpse at other people and that many have it way worse than me. My hope and goal now is for another 90 days. (or as HHM wrote maybe till after succos.)
There were times when I thought that it was just so hard but overall it was a lot easier that I thought it would be.
For some people going for 3 days may be the same difficult as others 90 days and for some 90 may be the same as 180 days are for others. No one is the same so the days or streaks can not be compared to other people.
They can only be compared to yourself.
The longest I have ever done before, was less than 40 days so this is a huge step up for me Bh!
I like tangible things so besides for bbq I plan on ordering a silver dollar coin from the mint that I will always have and cherish for this accomplishment. Maybe I will get one for every 90 days Iyh and start a collection...
Hope for the best Prepare for the worst

Re: growing higher 26 Aug 2021 02:50 #371906

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wilnevergiveup wrote on 25 Aug 2021 12:42:

Hashem Help Me wrote on 25 Aug 2021 04:26:
So what are you doing to prorect yourself and your family after the steaks are digested? What filter will be in place for day 91 and on? And maybe schedule your next celebration for the day after Isru Chag Sukkos. Imagine a clean Selichos, Rosh HaShana, Yom Kipur, Sukkos/ Hoshana Rabba, Simchas Torah. And the to come off all those soecial days clean.....

HHM, first you have to RSVP for the party then we can talk about fitting you in amongst the various speakers... 

I will happily come wish you Mazel Tov with a bear hug and a kiss. Contact me where and when we can celebrate.
Feel free to contact me at michelgelner@gmail.com

My threads: Lessons Learned: guardyoureyes.com/forum/20-Important-Threads/335248-Lessons-Learned

                    My Story and G-d Bless GYE: guardyoureyes.com/forum/17-Balei-Battims-Forum/303036-My-story-and-G-d-bless-GYE

Re: growing higher 27 Aug 2021 00:36 #371941

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Hashem Help Me wrote on 26 Aug 2021 02:50:


I will happily come wish you Mazel Tov with a bear hug and a kiss. Contact me where and when we can celebrate.


Can't think of anyone better than you, that I would want to celebrate with. 
:pinch: Warning: Spoiler!
You are such an inspiration to me and everyone else here!
Hope for the best Prepare for the worst

Re: growing higher 27 Aug 2021 04:07 #371944

  • Ish MiGrodno
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Mazel Tov, you are an amazing inspiration!

Please provide a zoom link to the party - for us "out of town Grodnians..."

IMG

ה׳ עמך גבור החיל! [שופטים ו׳ יב׳]

 Perhaps you can find chizuk from my thread at guardyoureyes.com/forum/19-Introduce-Yourself/356161-Intro 

Feel free to reach out to me at
jackz90dys@gmail.com

Re: growing higher 27 Aug 2021 04:26 #371945

  • gettingthere9
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No need for a zoom link we have arranged a private plane to bring you from grodno
:pinch: Warning: Spoiler!
Hope for the best Prepare for the worst

Re: growing higher 29 Aug 2021 19:14 #371989

  • griner
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congratulation on your streak !!!
your thread is amazing.
I have to tell you that I basically started the same time as you, I'm up to 100 days,  and I worked on the same things, and felt the same way.

Keeping my eyes to myself. not to look away, just don't look to begin with.
Viewing women as people. Who have a family kids etc.
Taking every day one day at a time.
Remembering during a struggle that 'I really don't want it'. and that I have a snake inside me that wants it, and sometimes it Poisons me that it feels like my self but its not me.

Keep it up.
:pinch: Warning: Spoiler!

Re: growing higher 30 Aug 2021 00:19 #371998

  • gettingthere9
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griner wrote on 29 Aug 2021 19:14:
congratulation on your streak !!!
your thread is amazing.
I have to tell you that I basically started the same time as you, I'm up to 100 days,  and I worked on the same things, and felt the same way.

Keeping my eyes to myself. not to look away, just don't look to begin with.
Viewing women as people. Who have a family kids etc.
Taking every day one day at a time.
Remembering during a struggle that 'I really don't want it'. and that I have a snake inside me that wants it, and sometimes it Poisons me that it feels like my self but its not me.

Keep it up.
:pinch: Warning: Spoiler!

Wow are you sure you aren't me???

​This year I cried out of gratitude rather than guilt.
(Its always good to cry. My Rebbi used to always say "A Yid boynt mit trerin" A Jew builds with tears. Its not just an emotion its a language for us yidden and its the way we build our lives.)

IYH it should be this way for the first Rosh Hashana and Yom Kippur in many years.
Hope for the best Prepare for the worst
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