Hi, I’ve been a member for a while but never had the guts to actually post or speak to anyone on the site. Actually I’ve never spoken to anyone in my entire life about my porn addiction. I’m married with 3 kids and learnt in kollel for 7 years. Like many I always assumed over time this will just “go away” or marriage would fix the problem, or having kids would fix the problem, or becoming a rebbi would fix the problem. But guess what it didn’t Long story short I hit pretty hard recently and finally spoke to my rav who sent me to a therapist who will guide on me on the next stages in life. I even told my wife(literally 5 hours ago)  about my addiction who actually took it unbelievably well since she always had a feeling I was watching porn and finally happy I’m open with her. 
Anyway sorry for the long post but like I said this is literally the first time in my life doing this. I have no idea how this works or if anyone will even see this but I guess it feels good to open up. Thanks for listening

NotGivingUp,

You are one of us....I promise you that we will hold your hand the whole way!

And kudos to your wife for her strength! 

You will be blown away by the love and knowledge that exists on this forum. And BEZ"H you will change if you use it for support and accountability. Perhaps you will find chizuk by my thread which details part of my journey.

guardyoureyes.com/forum/19-Introduce-Yourself/356161-Intro

Stay strong dear brother!

90dys

Hey, it’s shtarkandemotional here!! We are listening we’re all one big family here for YOU!!! Keep posting!!! Happy for you that your wife took it well that’s a big plus! Yea, we all blame our nisyonos on stuff like for ex. We’re not married etc ... but the truth is it’s us within...can I ask why doesn’t it help when we get married? I’m not married yet so I wouldn’t know... just wondering... anyway we’re here for you!! Keep posting and honestly it’s hard to open up about this struggle we all know that!! So really you deserve a mazel tov! Hopefully this next step will be the turning point for you!!! 

I really appreciate the chizuk, I will hopefully be doing a lot more research on this site and b”h will grow tremendously from everyone.
I will definitely check out your forum. Thank you and HaShem should protect all of us

NotGivingUp613 wrote on 23 Dec 2020 06:25:

Always remember we’re here for you!! As a family as ONE!! 

Hey thanks for listening. The reason I think marriage doesn’t change the problem is because like all addictions it becomes part of your life. After doing something for so long and we’re talking 15-20 years long, you can’t just get up and say ok I’m done. This becomes your life and Unfortunately nothing will stop this drug without the proper help and guidance. We can kid ourselves and say I’m not really addicted and I’ll stop at any moment but when it comes down to it, we all know we can’t just stop.

NotGivingUp613 wrote on 23 Dec 2020 06:30:

Wow true:( sad... 

Something to remember about yourself... is that... your struggle doesn’t put you lower as a person... your still the same great rebbe! I find the yetzer hara attacks the best and most special unique people with great talents... I’ve been officially the shtarkest guy in my yeshiva and now not so much anymore haha lol! But I’m really looked up at... and NO ONE WOULD DREAMMMMMMMMM that I’m struggling with these inyanim... Our struggles don’t define us... they build us!!! We become stronger people! Stronger worriers of hashem!!! 

Hi N.G.U.6.1.3,

Thank you for sharing your story.
I'm not married but
your story resonates with many here who can relate to you.

A few months ago I would have been watching porn on almost daily/weekly basis.
So in that sense I can relate.

It's a really hard nisoyon but with opening up with the forums especially when you have the willpower and guts to call a GYE member you will see big change.

I'm pretty new myself so I don't want to vouch for anything but calling a GYE member, chatting in the chat room and posting on the forums is helping me alot.

It's a day by day battle - the small victories will add up overtime

Keep posting don't hold anything back, don't feel you are burdening anybody. You will be giving chizuk to many that need and it will help you with accountability.

I wish you much success and you are lucky you have such a understanding wife that is supportive

Welcome. It should be with hatzlocha.

Welcome! Good to have you here. With Hashem's help we can all get through this together.

Hi,
Thank you very much for sharing!!
Can you tell us a bit more about your disclosure with your wife? What lead to it? How did you go about it? 
Telling one's wife is a popular topic on here and i think many can benefit from hearing more details on how it went...
Maybe you can share a bit more about your wife's reaction as well.

Thank you!
Hatzlacha!

Can i ask you why you think getting married will help?

Shmuel wrote on 23 Dec 2020 17:55:

Sure thing! It’s not my own thing I’ve heard it from many rabbonim they promote burchim that are struggling(not addicted) with these inyanim to get married at an early age... I would assume it helps because after all young men (THAT ARE NOT ADDICTED) that are struggling with pornography and have a very hard time cuz they are lacking female attention etc etc... I would assume having a wife, helps! After all, buchrim are craving to be with a girl for a long time and when they finally have that girl and get married things can really calm down with regard to their desire for porn and having that urge for female attention...  I could be wrong it’s just what I’ve heard about this... I would love to hear your thoughts... (doesn’t apply in case of addiction tho)!

First i would like to say the response from complete strangers is incredible. I am honestly getting chizuk just from seeing people responding and listening to my story. Keep up all the amazing work and i'm happy to be a part of this amazing site.