I'm Mark and struggle with about lots of sexual issues. Exhibitionism, voyeurism, frotteurism, bisexual (or more accurately omisexual). As a yeshiva bocher this presented itself in taking long walks in dark neighborhoods looking for some stimuli or experience. looking through windows into peoples house hoping to see something, or even to see their tv screen. As time went on, I sometomes masturbated in risky places, and exposed myself in public places wishing someone to see me... A few years after I got married and moved to a city, I started pursuing some more "normal" avenues, prostitutes (women, sometimes tyrannies) massage parlors (straight and gay) gay bathhouses, and still driving around while masturbating, being attracted to homeless bums on the street, to the janitor in the library, movies, porn, strangers, nurses, to anyone. Totally unmanageable and out of control. I felt compulsed, helplessly being "abused" by my own drives. Today through therapy to heal from complex trauma of a restrictive religious father and yeshiva system, and by joining a 12 step group I abstain for a short time now!!! I wonder if any of you out there can relate to this "Full time, anywhere, anyone any how always turned on and searching, with no boundary or limit"?

Yes, I can relate.

How is recovery goin'?

God speed

Your an inpsipration for trying. Keep strong!

mo1000 wrote on 27 May 2018 21:19:

Hi Mo
Thanks for sharing your story here.
In my guesstimation, of being on GYE and interacting with many members here, approx. 85% of the members here are not "addicts" that belong in a 12 step program. Of the 15% that are real unmanageable addicts most have higher bottoms than yours. 
If you're looking for emotional support to be able to connect with addicts that share many of your extreme MO's feel free to PM me and I will connect you with a few good people that you could relate to.
May Gd bless you with serenity, freedom and recovery.

grateful4life wrote on 28 May 2018 00:17:

I disagree with the stats.

cordnoy wrote on 28 May 2018 01:04:

Disagree too.
however, taking tbe courage to go for help, getting on GYE shows that you still have some hope, keep on the march, hold on, will assist you getting to the other side.. 

It seems to me their is two similar experiences both called "addiction".

Normal sexuality is a biological drive, and a healthy function of our psyche. The body's and minds urges can be powerful on their own merits and as Jewish teachings teach we know that their is also spiritual power involved. The Yetzer Harah. This is a normal persons struggle.

Now for addicts. A person with all the above challenges plus a certain amount of extra powerlessness (for whatever reason, disease or other) over their sexuality behaviors and lusts, probably indicated by multiple attempts and failures of trying to sincerely stop and quit, yet despite negative results fails again and again. This is an addict. Maybe a majority of people on GYE are of this type.

But their is a far worse form of addiction that seemingly only a much smaller percent of GYE members have. This form of addiction is all the above plus. These addicts behaviors have been extreme. Acting out in ways that risk great harm to themselves and others. Totally unmanageable things and self destructive. They risk STDs, they risk arrest, they risk losing everything, family, financially, and the safety their actual lives!

​So yes GYE has normal people with normal struggles, it has addicts with their struggles, and has some type 2 addicts as well. (although type 2 really NEED live meetings the most and therapy)