tzaddik212 wrote on 01 Jan 2018 15:25:

It’s a great chasidishe Torah, but what are you saying practically? Practically many of us have messed things up tremendously. Practically, we have to realize that acting out destroys and that it takes a tremendous effort to repair.

Yes, maybe our inner soul can never be damaged, but how is that relevant to someone who needs to stop acting out? 

It wont help people to stop acting out, nor would the Vort of Rav Nachman stop someone from actingout. what i was trying to say, is that Rav Nachman is saying is an inspiration to start working on ourselves, it is to ignite the fire of hope, the fire of growth, and to trash the Yiush and despair. And Rav Nachman is saying 2 points.  1. That a person never if fully Mekulkel, and that every Yid has an inner fire of Kedushah, and he has the capacity to tap into this, and to engulf his whole mind body and soul in this fire, and to be a true Eved Hashem 24/7.   2. Even if you think that there is no return from your despair, and you youre dumped for the rest of your life, and it stems from your belief that you can be Mekalkel, then have the Belief that you can be Metaken. anyways it becomes to analytical, and lets leave all the Lomdos for the Beis Medrosh, and you have a sober 24.

Stop, stopping acting out, Start living.

tzaddik212 wrote on 02 Jan 2018 16:17:

Personally, I recovered (or began concrete recovery steps) only after I gave up.

Well they say that hitting bottom, is the foundation of recovery, and as deeper the bottom is, the stronger the recovery is. 
It is such a Paradox, that the Negative experience of hitting bottom, should have such a positive effect of recovery. It teaches me the meaning of:  כל מה דעביד רחמנא לטב עביד

cordnoy wrote on 02 Jan 2018 16:54:

if you mean you gave up hoping to do it yourself without Hashems help and you gave it over to Hashem fine ,but if you mean yiush that theres no way youll get better even with hashems help,well  it may have worked for you but we are  taught thats wrong and usualy someone who experiences  that  type of giving up starts going down down ..., and if YOU did get up , maybe you had a special zechus from a bubbe, thats what i think ,not trying to step on anyones toes. 
 if i may add my 2 cents in Rav Nachmans ZTL statement  if you BELIEVE that you can be mekakel , ,BELIEVE that you can also be mesaken. whats that mean ,why when i do an aveira  c"v do i feel bad?because  i BELIEVE whats written in the Torah sources, a  sin IS mekalkel , whether the spiritual worlds , MY neshama, it brings tuma to this world , its mekalkel my relationship with HaKodosh Baruch hu...,so i feel sad BECAUSE i BELIEVE  whats written  that sin is mekalkel,so BELIEVE inTHE SAME TORAH SOURCES that mitzvos can be mesaken! TORAH is mesaken , MITZVOS is mesaken , VIDUI is mesaken, dont just BELIEVE -have emunah-in the kilkol  matters ,but also have emuna- BELIEF  that you have the power to fix up!!
the yidden  in the first beis hamikdash  commited the 3 cardinal sins ,avoda zara , gilui arayos ,and shifichas damim, and the navi was sent to tell the yidden do teshuva , dont say teshuva wont help ,it will help...whats going on , nowadays when someone does a cheit, he has no problem believing that teshuva will help , his problem is  to DO TESHUVA, but if he DOES teshuva , of course teshuva will help, but the yidden in the time of the beis hamikdash didnt believe that teshuva will help, so the navi was sent to tell the yidden that teshuva WILL help, whats going on?the meforshim  (to my memory ,to my memory,[:smile:] )give  an answer
1. that they knew who Hashem is  and how exalted Hashem is  and to sin to such an exalted King  cannot have forgivness
2. they knew what a necleur destructive power a cheit is , and how much it literaly destroys ,how can teshuva help? there fore the navi had to be sent toencourage the yidden teshuva does help.
and the sme idea , if you believe that you can mekalkel , please believe that you CAN be mesken .hatzlacha

ieeyc wrote on 03 Jan 2018 06:20:

No, I'm not smart enough, nor stupid enough to know what did it. But yes, after so many years I had given up - yiush as you would call it, and that is when I began workin' the steps and attendin' meetings. No, I did not pray to God; i had been supposedly doin' that for years, but I didn't/don't really know Him.

well Hashem knew which soldier could handle which  job ,  because  i probably c"v would of had a nervous breakdown  or worse if i was brought to that situation. BH Rabbi Avigdor Miller ZTL introduced me to G-d i think a few other rebbiem ZTL not so famous .

You can be (are) a erlicha yid even if you don't feel H in every step in your life, as long as you believe in him & try to do what he wants you to do.
There are people who FEEL hashem is with them & there are people who don't. (I remember when I was like 15 years old, I was in shul on yom kiper & I saw people crying, I was so jealous... I was thinking what did I do wrong that I don't feel like I wanna cry... I was asking hashem for a good year & that he should forgive me but I never felt that he's here)

I think you are referring to 2 different types of yiush:
You have to give up from thinking that you alone can handle this, you have to realize that the addiction is stronger than you & you can do nothing about it. But from the other side you can have hope that other things methods etc. cam still help you. (If you give up & think that nothing will work for you why should you even try?)
I think this will fit in very well in r nachman's agenda... From one side you should believe that you have a way out, but on the other hand he's talking a lot from bitul hayesh - believing that you're nothing & all you have is from hashem...

youcan wrote on 03 Jan 2018 15:56:

I am not discussin' rav nachman's agenda; I know nothin' about it and it doesn't interest me in the slightest. 

I am discussin' my recovery. I gave up....many times. I had no hope. I was at the point that I had no way out and when I was told by others that the steps lead to recovery, I took it - not out of hope, but rather because I had nothin' else to do.

bear wrote on 10 Dec 2017 20:10:

Thank God, I have not fallen the past four weeks. I think the idea of having an anchor especially one that involves something other than just myself really helped. My anchor for the Next four weeks will be that my fighting will be in the merit that Hashem grant the kids of Chai Lifeline a full recovery. We all want these kids to get better, the least I could do is to try to abandon some forbidden pleasures so that God willing it should be a Zechus for them to recover.

What a beautiful idea! You deserve a bear hug!

bear wrote on 29 Dec 2017 18:30:

On a similar note:
I heard a beautiful vort. The Gemarah says that one who prays in a "Makom Kavuah - set place" is called a talmud of Avraham, humble, among other great things. The question is why? Why is praying in the same spot consistently considered an act of humility and a great thing? 

If one prayed and was not answered there are ways he may respond to try to get answered the next time he prays. One approach is to say that there was something about the location where they prayed that was not conducive to their prayer. They blame the poor results on the surroundings or environment. Though, the other approach is to say, I did not pray well enough. The reason I was not answered was due to my shortcomings, and if I want to be answered next time, I have to improve myself to pray better. This approach is humble because it acknowledges ones own shortcomings. It does not blame the surroundings and environment, rather it says the thing to change is myself. It is also very empowering because it says you can change yourself and receive better results.

very nice !i heard s/t similiar from Rabbi Shlomo Mandel shlita, after rabbi eliezer ben durdaya sinned with the zoneh  ,he went to a valley , and (something like this )said heavens and earth ask mercy for me' this and that beg mercy for me , then he said it only depends on me and he put his head down and cried until his neshama left him what helped him was stop blaming external things for him acting out like the sun and moon , heaven and earth etc... take the responsibility and  blame , and thats how he came to his teshuva ,thanks again!