AvigdorBenYisroel wrote on 04 Jan 2017 23:11:
My favorite sentance. I learned this from Dov years ago, and I try to keep to it for the most part.

Yosef Tikun HaYesod wrote on 05 Jan 2017 11:51:

I'm not sure which of Cordnoy's questions I didn't answer. I'll look it over in a minute, for now, you're more important. [Which one of your grandchildren do you love best? The one in my lap... (don't remember who the quote is from, maybe from "ibid" ;)]

So let's answer your questions:
1. "leaving Torah because of what a sponsor said to you"
I didn't leave Torah, I left my idea that I must go out there and become a Rov...

2. "saying your Rebbe is Rav Avigdor Miller, who insisted one have a relationship with a living Rebbe,"
That's a good point. I do, in fact have a relationship with a Living Rebbe [who happens to consider himself a talmid of Reb Avigdor as well].

3. "saying that we need to make recovery the main thing, after saying that you left SA, to focus on spirituality,"
I never left recovery. I'm still working to grow spiritually and am incorporating attitudes I gained in SA into my daily life. I am still a member of SA [since "[i]their only requirement for membership[/i] is a desire to stop lusting and remain sexually sober."]. But I stopped spending at least three hours a day on SA [as some SA members believe is absolutely necessary].

4. "joining the forum and gye now, when you seem to be both a sponsor and have a job offer as a Rov."
I feel like I grew so much from Rabbi Miller that I want to bring his words to others suffering from addiction, so that maybe they can be inspired as well. At the same time, I feel that it's important to point out that once someone progressed very far in his addiction all this might not help him. So he shouldn't say "Torah and mussar is BS, he should say, oh, maybe I'm just not ready for it yet- like this avigdor fellow.

5. "Please take a moment and try to answer these questions, so that we can all understand you better.
I just want to make sense of what you're saying...if possible. I won't enter into a long discussion or debate."
You're welcome!

I'll post Cordnoy's questions again.

cordnoy wrote on 03 Jan 2017 23:22:

Here they are.

cordnoy wrote on 05 Jan 2017 11:39:

OK so one step back further.
What is teshuva?

I am going to head over to the Torah chizuk forum to read Rav Avigdor Miller insights. 
The more the better. Thank you for doing it...just please take care to write it accurately.
It's a lot of work. I have written over several of Rav Ben Zion Shafier's shiurim as well as many insights/stories from Rav Fishel Shechter, and it takes a long time...so I appreciate it.
Thanks for clarifying more where you're coming from.
Have a great Shabbos!

GrowStrong wrote on 06 Jan 2017 12:58:

read the rambam.
 thereI are four components.

In the steps there is stoppin'....Step zero...Which is azivas hachet.
There is admitting, but it is a different sort, do not exactly viduy.
There is acceptance for today to remain sober (perhaps, and included on the daily renewal), but that dies not fulfillI kabalah al ha'asid.
There is no charatah regardin' the sin involved at all.

In fact, one of the promises is "We will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it."

Shlomo24 wrote on 06 Jan 2017 19:15:

Look at the last post on my other thread [from Gevura]. Of course we must regret actions we did in the past. This promise means that instead of being "ashamed" of the past, we'll be proud of where it has taken us.

Open mindedness

I was always for "hagahos". Whenever I learned a sefer, I was looking to see if I can write something in the margin. I wasn't learning, I was itching to use my pen. Maybe he misquoted something, maybe he missed a source, maybe I disagree, maybe there's stam a typo... I always had my eyes open.
Same thing when I read the Big Book. His writing is good... style is flowing, not flowing, why did he choose this name for this chapter etc. etc. etc.

BUT I WAS MISSING THE POINT

When I read a book it's not about ME.
Read the words.
It is perfect, it's not perfect, who cares?
Can I learn something here?

It makes a big difference.

Cord. I'm not the biggest Talmid chuchum.
and I haven't had the privilege of learning hilchos teshuva yet.
But I will take the liberty to say that we/us
On GYE are ALOT further along in doing teshuva on these particular sins than alot of guys that think they are doing teshuva on other/lesser sins.

Meier wrote on 16 Jan 2017 16:22:

If that makes you feel good, go for it.

DoI you wanna contrast your/our sinsI with theirs? Who wins that?

But, either way.....feel what's good for you.

No contrast
but let's take talking in shul.
a guy that's a chronic talker is mekabel
Not to talk in shul.most of the time when he goes a full shabbos morning with just a couple of hellos etc.he feels accomplished.in other words he's doing teshuva and he won't even feel the need to do extra/special teshuva for the one or two good mornings.
Now let's talk about us.
If today chas vshulem we wandered and started to read a article ( no images) about inappropriate subjects.(just happened to me. BH I quickly caught myself.)we feel the need to beg hashem for forgiveness.and be מתפלל for hashem's helping hand for the future.
to me. we/us here are doing teshuva on a closer and more genuine level.we anguish over the "little" stuff.our daily תחנון has meaning, (I actually look forward to Mondays and Thursdays,today their was a choson in my minyan)
you get the idea.

KKal hakavod!

I wish I would.

Singularity wrote on 03 Jan 2017 09:00:

i heard  Rabbi Pincus ztl  was a talmid of Rabbi miller ztl