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TOPIC: Shidduchim for Recovering addicts 1149 Views

Shidduchim for Recovering addicts 18 Dec 2016 01:44 #300128

SalerMoish
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Hi, I'm new here on GYE, and I have a question which I would think would've already been posted, but I haven't seen it yet. I'm 22 years old, and have been struggling with m******* throughout my years in Yeshiva. In the past 3 years, when I got a smartphone, I became addicted to p*** as well. Now I have began my journey to recovery, by joining the 90 chart and getting a good filter on my phone.
So my question is: when the right time comes, iyh, will I need to reveal my struggles to prospective Shidduchim, and if yes, at what stage? On the other hand, maybe it would ruin any chance of someone saying yes. Please share your thoughts.

Re: Shidduchim for Recovering addicts 18 Dec 2016 02:01 #300132

cordnoy
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SalerMoish wrote on 18 Dec 2016 01:44:

You have a rebbe?

My email: thenewme613@hotmail.com
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https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/1-Break-Free/210029-Tryin

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Re: Shidduchim for Recovering addicts 18 Dec 2016 04:04 #300143

SalerMoish Current streak: 1 day OFFLINE Fresh Boarder Posts: 5 Karma: 0	Not really. I'm actually Chabad, and having a "Mashpia" or someone you can ask for advice and report to is something the Rebbe very much wanted from everyone, to the point that the Rebbe called it a "Bakasha Nafshis", but sadly I never kept that up.

Re: Shidduchim for Recovering addicts 18 Dec 2016 04:14 #300144

cordnoy
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SalerMoish wrote on 18 Dec 2016 04:04:

Not really. I'm actually Chabad, and having a "Mashpia" or someone you can ask for advice and report to is something the Rebbe very much wanted from everyone, to the point that the Rebbe called it a "Bakasha Nafshis", but sadly I never kept that up.

Time to start.

Either way, recover for today.

My email: thenewme613@hotmail.com
My threads: Mikvah Night - Page 1, Page 2, Page 3, Last Page

https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/1-Break-Free/210029-Tryin

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Re: Shidduchim for Recovering addicts 18 Dec 2016 17:18 #300208

shlomo24
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I agree with Harav Cordnoy Shlita. I think having a Rebbe/Mashpia/LOR/Spiritual Guide is very important in these delicate manners. To take advice from an anonymous forum can be detrimental to you. A word of caution though: Try to find a Rebbe who knows this inyan. I have confided with Rebbeim who are incredibly nice people and are very spiritual, but they just didn't have experience with what I was dealing with.

Hatzlacha.

If you're an LGBTQ or LGBTQ-questioning person and looking for someone who can understand you, feel free to reach out. I promise no judgement and to try and listen the best I can.

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Last Edit: 18 Dec 2016 17:18 by shlomo24.

Re: Shidduchim for Recovering addicts 19 Dec 2016 09:10 #300313

Singularity
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Shlomo24 wrote on 18 Dec 2016 17:18:

True. I've been so tempted to tell any run-of-the-mill rabbi my issues. But it may well be divulging your running interests to an avid weightlifter. You might get a pat on the back (watch out!) but nothing more, really....

Welcome! Hatzlocha! Enjoy some free Karma!

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Re: Shidduchim for Recovering addicts 19 Dec 2016 09:10 #300314

Singularity Current streak: 72 days OFFLINE Platinum Boarder To write, or not to write? Posts: 1507 Karma: 78	... when the six hour cool-off period is up. I thought that was only person-dependent? Guess it strokes across the board.
	"Vegeta, what does the scouter say about his sobriety level?" "... It's over NINE-ZEROOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!" One day... At A Time :-D Introduce Yourself and get a free karma point from yours truley! My Thread

Re: Shidduchim for Recovering addicts 19 Dec 2016 22:13 #300418

gibbor120 OFFLINE Platinum Boarder NEVER EVER GIVE UP! Posts: 5251 Karma: 166	Welcome! Rabbi Twerski has some words of advice. Search GYE for a couple letters he wrote. Your main task right now is to get sober. Have you tried before? Has anything helped? Have you read the handbook?
	My Home \| My Links \| Dov Quotes \| Dr. Sorotzkin \| Handbook \| Additional Tools \| AA Audio \| Shalom Bayis \| Skep's Tips

Re: Shidduchim for Recovering addicts 20 Dec 2016 02:17 #300455

SalerMoish Current streak: 1 day OFFLINE Fresh Boarder Posts: 5 Karma: 0	Yes, I just installed a filter (Gentech) on my phone, which has definitely helped. I'm also 5 days clean so far on the 90 day chart. I'll check out Rabbi Twerskis articles. Thanks!

Re: Shidduchim for Recovering addicts 20 Dec 2016 08:35 #300480

Singularity Current streak: 72 days OFFLINE Platinum Boarder To write, or not to write? Posts: 1507 Karma: 78	Only continued Hatzlocha! May your recovery grow exponentially!
	"Vegeta, what does the scouter say about his sobriety level?" "... It's over NINE-ZEROOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!" One day... At A Time :-D Introduce Yourself and get a free karma point from yours truley! My Thread