Welcome waited to long,

Just keep on participating on the this forum. You will find your way

cordnoy wrote on 03 Nov 2016 17:41:

Right, everyone has different experiences.

Another point about to filter or not to filter:

Regarding your own recovery, maybe you have the luxury to wonder and philosophize.  But, if you've got computers and phones and all sorts of devices around with open internet, you are carrying around a michshol for other people in your surroundings who may or may not have access (whether or not you know about it) to your electronic equipment.

For example, if you've got a computer at home and you've got kids at home, you've really got to take that into consideration -- that they might end up using your computer and accidentally or non-accidentally finding shmutz (whether or not you know about it). And even if you're really connected to Hashem and don't need it, your kids do!

Newleaf354 wrote on 05 Nov 2016 18:40:

I agree. I have a fingerprint reader and password on my phone so I'm not worried about that. I also have a password on my computer. But if I had kids I would definitely have a filter.

Yeah, I was the kid who's father had the computer with unfiltered internet. I'm not blaming him- I was an addict before I found porn, but it definitely fed the addiction.

That's great that you don't blame him. It took me a while to accept that God gave me my addiction, not anyone else.

this concept that god gave us this issue and that you have give it to him to fight it was very very difficult to internalize. (just to say it was easy, as its always easy to blame others for my problems.) but this week someone told me a vort that really helped me.
he was explaining what changed after the "reboot" Hashem did by the mabul. what changed that He felt destroying everything and restarting would be the answer. he said that Adam was given the job to take care of the finished product. he was seemingly on his own, a so called independence. and it led to terrible things, warranting a mabul. noach on the other hand was told to build the teivah and put all the animals in and the food for everything for a year. as from Noachs perspective he was told to seemingly waste 120 years of his life. as realistically there was no way all those animals and their food could fit in the teivah. what hashem was telling him is that this is the new way of the world. there is nothing you can do on your own. everything will need intervention from Hashem to make it happen.
accordingly its something that can or should be practiced regarding everything in life which i think will help even for this disease that seems sometimes so hard to acknowledge that God really gave it to you. 

Choices.
 life is about choices.

Shlomo24 wrote on 03 Nov 2016 15:28:


I don't know Shlomo, in the fellowship I was in anytime someone fell it was a momentary lapse and they were caught by surprise and then realized that they weren't in the right place spiritually, yet it was pashut to me that at that moment if there had been more deterrent things would have been different for them.

Newleaf354 wrote on 03 Nov 2016 13:53:

thank yo for taking the time to respond.
i try to avoid having those days. but working in an extremely understaffed workplace the question is usually not if you will have stressful days but rather how often.

I just want to stick in my 0.02 regarding filters. i agree with what many have already said, that a filter will not make you sober. But at the same time, no matter what other tools you are using and how they are working for you, not having a filter is just irresponsible.

I'm not a 12-stepper although I have learned a lot from them. But even if someone is totally immersed in the steps and is completely relying on G-d to remove his obsession etc. etc., you still have to be responsible not to put yourself in temptation.

We all believe that everything is from Hashem and He controls everything that happens to us. But does that mean that we can sit around all day and wait for Mon to fall at our doorstep? We have to make the Hishtadlus and do our part, but know that in the end the results are in His hands. The same way, we can't stuff ourselves with tons of fatty junk food and say "Well if Hashem doesn't want me to get sick then I'll be OK". Or drive on a curvy cliff road with no guardrail at 90 MPH and hope that Hashem doesn't want us to die right now. The same way, we cant be around unfiltered devices all day and just rely that if temptation shows up then Hashem will remove it from us.

So think of the filter as a railing for your Steps

Gevura Shebyesod wrote on 06 Nov 2016 16:48:

Thank you again.

Gevura Shebyesod wrote on 06 Nov 2016 16:48:

I like that mashal

Gevura Shebyesod wrote on 06 Nov 2016 16:48:

Is there not a Gemarah that states that if there are two ways to get somewhere and one way has a temptation and a person  takes the way that has a temptation, then even if he did not fall for the temptation he has sinned because he put himself into a nisayon.
Even if one is savy enough to get around a filter, a filtered device is still appropriate.

One step further. A person must be a good chess player when on the web. Always thinking what will my viewing of this eventually lead to. I know that I have a few wholesome interests on youtube and on the web in general. However, allowing myself to view these, begins a very slow piercing of a strong protective wall I have put up. In the course of time I will have a true nisayon if I indulge in what now is fairly innocent viewing.

Just my take.

Gevura Shebyesod wrote on 06 Nov 2016 16:48:

I don't fully agree. I think that a filter is good for most but it's not an ultimatum that someone is going to act out just because he doesn't have a filter. I know people who are sober for extended periods of time that don't have filters. Even though I recently acted out, I'm not going to get a filter. And that's under my sponsor's suggestion.