You know in Eretz Yisroel people can stop you and just give their opinions on your way of dressing your children ...
In a caring family you have at times people speaking up and giving pointed advice that was never asked...
These pieces of advice may or may not be good and effective but be sure of one thing THEY ARE COMING FROM A MOST CARING PLACE.

and o'yes - the forum is filled with people who have gone through very similar trials - hey that's why your here right? don't be so quick to flippantly discount their input.
ayn chochma k'baal hanisayn - there is no wisdom like experience.

II used to get defensive.
I still do.
People, myself included, should still be careful what they write.....even if it's their experience.
Calling people names (even when misspelled) and describing them with adjectives is not usually helpful.

B'hatzlachah to all

First of all let me publicly state that in school I hated grammar with a passion.
second.i assume you are referring to my LIER comment.so let me clarify a bit.
I wasn't chas vshulem calling him a LIER in the full sense of the word maybe I should have clarified what I meant wich was that He's lying to HIMSELF.
I'm relatively new to the forum and I'm blunt by nature so please pardon what might seem alittle rough.its not meant as criticism chas vshulem

You may be a blunt person by nature, however, here you need to be circumspect with what you say. Just saying you are blunt, so deal with it is not enough. There is a time and a place for everything.  Here, we need to be careful and thoughtful concerning how we deliver our message. There is always a way to do it nicely. simply consider carefully your words. Reread what you wrote before you post it. A kind message is much more easily "heard" than a rough one. That is true in most situations so here would be a great place to start to hone that skill. 

It's been said many times before, these things are the nature of an anonymous online forum, even one as helpful as GYE. There is still a huge amount to be gained here.

maybe you can let those bed time compulsions go. sometimes it helps to let things go in general when you can without harm. it's hard to let people's comments go here. it's almost a compulsion for me at times to respond. sometimes I just say thank you, instead answering up every point or issue that I have. I can let it go. After all, I'm in an anonymous forum, getting comments from anonymous people. There is certainly no harm in letting  something go and it's an exercise for me to not act on outside stimuli

I just want to share that on Oct 19, 2014 God removed the obsession for me. I did lose my sobriety on March 18, 2015 (I did stop before completion on that date, but I went way past my sobriety), but the obsession was removed. I want to be very clear on what I mean by the obsession. The obsession that had was the idea that I can take in lust and control and limit it. I was obsessed with this idea that this time would be different. No matter how many times I would start to lust and end up out of control, the next time I would think  can control it. That is insanity. That thought process was removed from me.

From Big Book page 30:

"Most of us have been unwilling to admit we were real alcoholics. No person likes to think he is bodily and mentally different from his fellows. Therefore, it is not surprising that our drinking careers have been characterized by countless vain attempts to prove we could drink like other people. The idea that somehow, someday he will control and enjoy his drinking is the great obsession of every abnormal drinker. The persistence of this illusion is astonishing. Many pursue it into the gates of insanity or death."

Page 44

"Once this malady has a real hold, they are a baffled lot. There is the obsession that somehow, someday, they will beat the game. But they often suspect they are down for the count."

Meier wrote on 02 Nov 2016 14:23:

I want to make something clear, when i was talking about attacks, i was not refering to this, Cord, i dont know if this is what you were reffering to either but it is whats being spoken about. I understood what he was talking about, and it opened my eyes alittle, as an emt i truly understood his example. but he was right, and so are alot of people as long as i keep lying to myself it will never end.

{the obsession was removed. I want to be very clear on what I mean by the obsession. The obsession that had was the idea that I can take in lust and control and limit it. I was obsessed with this idea that this time would be different. No matter how many times I would start to lust and end up out of control, the next time I would think  can control it. That is insanity. That thought process was removed from me.



From Big Book page 30:



"Most of us have been unwilling to admit we were real alcoholics. No person likes to think he is bodily and mentally different from his fellows. Therefore, it is not surprising that our drinking careers have been characterized by countless vain attempts to prove we could drink like other people. The idea that somehow, someday he will control and enjoy his drinking is the great obsession of every abnormal drinker. The persistence of this illusion is astonishing. Many pursue it into the gates of insanity or death."



Page 44



"Once this malady has a real hold, they are a baffled lot. There is the obsession that somehow, someday, they will beat the game. But they often suspect they are down for the count."
}

    It makes so much sense. When we were kids did we not get frustrated that someone had a talent or skill naturally that we did not possess. It takes time and MATURITY to appreciate those skills that we have and accept those we don't.



We need to learn how to be happy in our own skin. Of course in time we should come to the understanding that even our shortcomings are truly right for us. After all, Hashem is kind and all knowing so he doesn't make mistakes. Such an attitude does take some work, right?



In the case of addiction/illness there is the greater insecurity that if I don't have control like most others then I"m really "not normal". That is a difficult pill to swallow.

Just to add from what I'm listening on a recording from Bill S.  Another aspect of the obsession,  is that I don't spending my day planning on acting out or planning on how I'm not going to act out.  If I'm obsessing on how I'm not going to act out, this addiction is still controlling my life and I'm probably going to end up acting out.

Look at that I'm a thing of the past
Friday was a little rocky for a while,  but I got past it.  Saturday was a bit similar,  so instead of going to bed for my nap I went on the couch. Sunday I was out of the house till 1 am, so that helped. Today was a good day, as I lay in my bed trying to fall asleep