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TOPIC: I'm Finally Here 52583 Views

Re: I'm Finally Here 14 Jun 2023 00:56 #397465

  • eccentriccomposer
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Wow, thank you for sharing, its a massive chizzuk, just dust yourself off, you got this!
I am not active on the forums anymore so much, but I check my email daily, please reach out to me!

Feel free to message me if you need anything, I'll try to respond as soon as I can. I hope I can help!

Email: eccentriccomposer01@gmail.com

Eccentric Trip to Freedom
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Re: I'm Finally Here 14 Jun 2023 01:20 #397470

  • birshusi
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EccentricComposer wrote on 14 Jun 2023 00:56:
Wow, thank you for sharing, its a massive chizzuk, just dust yourself off, you got this!

Would you mind expounding on what about me sharing that I fell gives you chizzuk? I just feel stupid because I've been on GYE for so long and have given others advice and guidance as if I'm an expert in some way, and here I am falling like a fool.

And by the way I found a way to the app even though I deleted it from the screen so I'm still in trouble...

Re: I'm Finally Here 14 Jun 2023 01:26 #397473

  • birshusi
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Grant400 wrote on 14 Jun 2023 00:23:

Birshusi wrote on 13 Jun 2023 23:51:
Fell. 

As disgusted as I am I can't help but know that I enjoyed it and want to see more.
Uch.

Of course you enjoyed it! So do I. 

Denying that it's intensely pleasurable is untruthful, and won't help at all. No part of recovery requires us to convince ourselves it isn't enjoyable, but rather that that enjoyment isn't what makes us happy or productive etc.

Hang in there!

I want happiness don't get me wrong, but I also want pleasure and distraction and excitement and self-indulgence, which are things I often feel like I'm lacking.

Re: I'm Finally Here 14 Jun 2023 01:42 #397475

  • grant400
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Which do you want more?

I'm not prodding you to answer "correctly", just want you to dig a little deeper. Do you want to stop, or just want to want to?

Re: I'm Finally Here 14 Jun 2023 01:56 #397477

  • richtig
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Grant400 wrote on 14 Jun 2023 00:23:

Birshusi wrote on 13 Jun 2023 23:51:
Fell. 

As disgusted as I am I can't help but know that I enjoyed it and want to see more.
Uch.

Of course you enjoyed it! So do I. 

Denying that it's intensely pleasurable is untruthful, and won't help at all. No part of recovery requires us to convince ourselves it isn't enjoyable, but rather that that enjoyment isn't what makes us happy or productive etc.

Hang in there!

Bingo!
"It is not our abilities that show who we truly are, it is our choices.” ---- Albus Dumbeldore (as per Chris Columbus)

Re: I'm Finally Here 14 Jun 2023 02:01 #397478

  • birshusi
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Grant400 wrote on 14 Jun 2023 01:42:
Which do you want more?

I'm not prodding you to answer "correctly", just want you to dig a little deeper. Do you want to stop, or just want to want to?

A bit of both. Of course I don't want this in my life but I really do enjoy it in those moments of intense urges, and even now when I'm writing about how upsetting this is for me, I am planning my next fall in the back of my head.

Re: I'm Finally Here 14 Jun 2023 02:04 #397479

  • birshusi
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Grant400 wrote on 14 Jun 2023 01:42:
Which do you want more?

I'm not prodding you to answer "correctly", just want you to dig a little deeper. Do you want to stop, or just want to want to?

I think I also don't believe that the absence of porn brings happiness.

Re: I'm Finally Here 14 Jun 2023 03:23 #397481

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i dont believe the absence of anything brings to anything

טאטע טאטע טאטע איך וויל זיין, יא איך וויל זיין, א ירא שמים

my forum

Re: I'm Finally Here 14 Jun 2023 03:53 #397482

  • yitz23
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Birshusi wrote on 19 Jun 2016 22:35:
I had a bad slip today. Not quite a fall, but a slip.

I was watching the Mets game and was checking out the other channels. There was a western movie on one channel, and as it turns out, an actress was prominently displayed, and she wasn't all that covered. Sorry for the detail, just trying to be honest.

I watched for a few minutes, guilty conscience and all, and even tried to look away while still watching. How stupid.

After about five minutes, I got up and took a shower. It took gevurah, and I know that if this was two months ago, I would've kept watching. 

So I'm disappointed, but trying not to dwell on it and to just go vyter.


The biggest problem is that you were watching the Mets...

Every hand's a winner
and every hand's a loser
And the best that you can hope for
is to die in your sleep
                      -Kenny Rogers,
The Gambler

Re: I'm Finally Here 14 Jun 2023 14:35 #397496

  • eccentriccomposer
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Birshusi wrote on 14 Jun 2023 01:20:

EccentricComposer wrote on 14 Jun 2023 00:56:
Wow, thank you for sharing, its a massive chizzuk, just dust yourself off, you got this!

Would you mind expounding on what about me sharing that I fell gives you chizzuk? I just feel stupid because I've been on GYE for so long and have given others advice and guidance as if I'm an expert in some way, and here I am falling like a fool.

And by the way I found a way to the app even though I deleted it from the screen so I'm still in trouble...

The fact that you shared and didn't slink into hiding pretending like it didn't happen, that's what gives me chizzuk. That even though you've been through a ton, you're still ready to admit what went wrong.
I am not active on the forums anymore so much, but I check my email daily, please reach out to me!

Feel free to message me if you need anything, I'll try to respond as soon as I can. I hope I can help!

Email: eccentriccomposer01@gmail.com

Eccentric Trip to Freedom
Daily Dose
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