shmulyz18 wrote on 26 Mar 2016 20:33:

 

I am going to go off the highway for awhile. I do want to help people, and I know that what happened me and markz was terrible.  But I have changed. If you have a problem with me, say so. This is my exit.


 

shmulyz18 wrote on 30 Mar 2016 00:21:


Shmuly,

Why are you leaving? It was a bad mistake, but a mistake. Work on getting over it and work on sobriety and show everyone that you really do want to get better. Leaving doesn't make much sense.

Ok, I'm back (for now).  What I did was stupid, and I am fed up with the SSA. I was once told I have a great Soul. I disagree, because I am a rasha.  :devil:I am going to get off (again) for the night and to get gas. I am running on E.     Mark, I again beg forgiveness. I just want to help people become better people, and I am hoping I can be a better person myself. With this, I will see you all tomorrow. 
 

shmulyz18 wrote on 30 Mar 2016 00:21:

yeah, i have a problem with you.
your mantra has been over and over that you want to be here to help people. well, i speak for myself, and at least a handful of others: i do not want help from someone ignoring his own insanity and addiction. he will not help me in any way. he will screw me over and threaten my recovery.
look around: markz, yesod, cordnoy, they (we) all have our own problems. when we joined, we joined because life was unbearable and we wanted to achieve sanity. you may have read the threads. we are all working our asses off day in and day out for our own sobriety, for our own sanity, and for ourselves to graduate each one on his own level.
and along the way, as we progress, we encourage colleagues and guide novices.
but to jump in with the mindset of "i am here to help others" while you are cleary still ill-equipped is not only rediculous and counter productive, but dangerous, and will mess people up.
let me give you a case in point lest you think i am joking or exaggerating.
many people have asked about my disappearance over the last 3 months, how it happened, why it happened, and why i returned with my 6 months of sobriety down the crapper. well, i am not blaming anyone but myself for my bad choices, and i will not call anyone out even by the name or names that he uses on this forum and/or in his emails, but it was several antagonistic emails that made me say "i gotta get away for a while". and stuff got bad after that. i had a feeling it might. 
now, that person was no doubt lost, probably new, etc., but also completely missing the whole point of this forum.
he was, in his own mind, an expert. joining to give advice, joining to help others. not joining to accept, joining to get sane, or joining to change.
no one wants help from someone not fit to give it. that can be called malpractice.
to sum it up: my problem with you is this: you want to join in order to help. i do not think there is room for that. but i would welcome someone who earnestly joined in order to get sane and sober.
good luck. tell betterman i say hi.

A prayer for you, Prov. 4:18, a better Bet, alway choose something better, yes you can, lots of help here on site.

I am not one to take your inventory shmulybetter, but in my humble opinion you need much more help than just GYE. You have probably been through a lot, but that doesn't justify behavior. Certain aspects of your character glare out from your posts, and I think that GYE is not going to help.

One piece of advice: self-pity and kissing up can get people to really dislike you, it cheapens your words. You can only beg for forgiveness and call yourself a rasha and quit the site for a millisecond and talk about your mother for so long.  I know it pisses me off.

I am trying to help myself as well as others. If my  help is not wanted, so be it. I don't care if I am banned, but you guys to need to chill.

shmulyz18 wrote on 30 Mar 2016 10:02:


Ok Shmuly, I was going to chime in and say that I think everyone should chill and cut you some more slack. But then I read your old posts, saw that you had a problem and messed someone up by talking dirty and sending a bad picture, and that you also really do ask people to PM you in most of your posts.

Now I understand better what everyone else is worked up about, and I would agree that it gotta stop saying that you want to help others. That's not the point here- the point is for us to work on ourselves, and to share what we know personally works.

It's brotherhood, not a place for someone to be a hero.

So basically, no one wants to hear that you're here to help people so leave it alone. Sit and listen and perhaps offer encouragement but not advice and maybe people will ease up. But it doesn't sound so much like you're getting it.

Workingguy wrote on 30 Mar 2016 10:45:

I agree, which is why I am going to sit down and listen. 
I do need to try honestea.

So how do I work on recovery? Should I keep trying the 90 days? Or is there something else I can do?
I know I have self pitied myself in the past, and that has to stop. So what do I do?

Does anyone have any thoughts on the dirty talk problem? I do it at school to be accepted and to fit in. I know I can't do it. Does anyone have thoughts on how to postpone the lustful urges and the lust itself?

With this I am going to get off the highway for a battery change. 

guardyoureyes.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=43&Itemid=25

Please don't quit GYE. Start a new journal and write in it one post each day, keeping the content entirely limited to the only thing we really care about around here - sobriety. One day at a time.

Keep your writing entirely focussed on yourself. Your struggles with lust, your successes and setbacks and how these came about. Do this with all the honesty of an ill man in the doctor's office and watch how your karma will rise.

Watson, How exactly do I keep a journal?
Should I start a new thread?
Mark, from now I going to brew some honestea.

 I, Shmulyz18, today March 31, 2016, promise to be honest on here and in real life. 
I also promise to work on my own recovery, and not to give any advice to posters. Encouragement only. 
Now on with the brewing of the  Honestea. I would like iced if possible. 

 

Shmuly, you're just in time. If you had written this tomorrow, we'd all have thought it was an April fools joke 

Hey guys, Shmuly has a great soul. He is willing to admit when he went wrong and keeps trying to work on himself, never giving up.

So Shmuly, go for it! Your new plan sounds like a great path forward!

oh yeah, it is April tomorrow, wow. Where has 2016 gone?
Thank you Guard. Now I do want some tea. 

Happy Aprils Fools everyone. Don't get in trouble too much.