I'm now clean for about 29 hours. i thank G-d so much for everything
even in the falls he's with me and he loves me so much and care about me.

GuideMe, don't forget that your 29 hour clean streak is not the same as the 1st 29 hrs. being clean: you have 29 hours of being clean AND 18 clean days behind it.   

I like what Shlomo wrote, "Let go and then let G*d."  

 

One day, one day I will give up lust.
In the meantime, I give up to lust.
only Hashem can save me

My friend, are you perhaps obsessing too much?

Having that banner "Record 19 days" can do more bad than good, This is my experience

I second that. When my sobriety was focused on the days accumulated it wasn't very pleasant. I try to focus one day at a time and that is it. Which is why I only have "1 day" for my sobriety even though I have more then that. I don't believe that this is a race or that we are trying to get a new record. Although one of my sponsors said that there should be a goal in mind of gaining more days then previously accumulated. I don't agree but I guess there is a mehalach that way. Whatever works for you.

Thanks guys. i need to foucs on 'ODAAT'

Hey folks!
i'm happy to tell you that i'm now an SA member (but i'm, still going to GYE meetings)
i thank G-d for the willingness to go to live meetings. i should not take it for granted!
as for today (no one knows what will happen tomorow) i'm going to about 3-4 meetings a week
we have (in israel) 3 GYE meetings every week, i usually go to one of them every week on mondays. 

i'm in a bit confusing stage in my recovery.
I thought I clarified that question (sort of...), but now she pops again: am i an addict? maybe i have a different mental problem?
i ask G-d to show me the right way for me.
And perhaps, if he brought me here, just for today, this is the place for me?

i ask him for the courage to change the things I can, (like taking a sponser)
the serenity to accept the things I cannot change
And wisdom to know the difference.
 

Good for you!

Hi guys, it's been a while.
writing in english is not thet easy for me...
anyway, i'm in live groups for a few months now, and still doesn't actually work the program.
i beg G-d to give me willingness to take a (new) sponsor and start in baby steps just for today, one day at a time.
but i also feel like i don't want to stop. acting out used to hurt so much and now it's just another thing in my life
Please God. I beg you! 
i can't do it by myself
 

GuideMe wrote:

How's today doing??

markz wrote on 02 May 2016 22:40:

Hi Mark thank you so much for stooping by. Means a lot to me.
Anyways, when i actually share that i don't have the willingness and pray, sometimes then G-d brings the willingness.
I feel hope for me to start work the steps. I had a busy recovery related day. Two groups and phone calls and i even went to grab a bite with 4 guys from thw group.
But even so, i still acted out about 20 minutes ago.
I beg god to give me the willingness to give it up cuz it's very hard for me to do so.
I beg him to please let me understand how bad lusting ia for me.
Tnx for dropping by!
How r u?