sleliminate wrote:


What was the solid plan that helped you in the past, or did you mean the cutting down the amount of times? And if you did cut down, who do you think that helped?

Very good question. I never had a good plan. Always tried cold turkey when I got disgusted about the habit. The only way I was able to narrow it down to just at night wss necessity. I got way busier. Then the habit formed because when I had time to do it during the day, I simply didn't want to because I reslized how much happier I was and I would have plenty of time at night to do it. Also, I always have the night "session" to look forward to.

So, now you should see my predicament. Actually stopping at night too would mean this doesn't work anymore. It means actually stopping all together.

Not sure thats clear. Please tell me and I'll try to explain better

sleliminate wrote:


Try your plan and see how it goes. There are alternatives, but they are much much harder than what you are suggesting. No-one in their right mind would want to work a full-on program of recovery from sex addiction, unless it was literally the last option.

sleliminate wrote:


I think the reason why people are skeptical is because so many people here have tried all the things that they themselves thought would work, and realized that our thinking was too influenced by our own desire to stay connected to our addiction on some level. Now, that doesn't mean that you can't be the one to decide what the plan is for your self.

What I would say, and I say it with care is why not take the word of people Who have experience with variety and have really achieve its real recovery?

My personal hesitations about your plan aren't that I think it is over way too long a period of time. Other alternatives can be face-to-face twelve-step programs, cognitive behavioral therapy which can usually help people kick tremendous habits in 12 to 16 weeks (although I must disclose that I don't know that from experience), a CSAT which is a therapist trained to deal with sex addictions.

Alternatively, you can start with your plan and read through other peoples threads to see what they put in to make their plans work and then try to apply what is relevant to you. So, for example you can start your plan and then read other people's stories and see if following what David can work for you.

Can you keep busy at night? Can you exercise strenuously before you go to sleep? Do you have any idea why you need this to go to sleep – are the underlying issues that are bothering you that you need to explore?

Just know that all these questions, and anyone else that is asking them as well, are only in the sense that we want you to succeed without having the pain of failure over and over again.

We're all rooting for you and hope to see you successful whatever plan you choose!

Great response, thanks. Let me think about what you said

sleliminate wrote:


Unclear to me, but that's fine.

Bigmoish wrote:
No advice given. Just shared what has/hasn't worked for others, and asked him to share his results.

And apparently he does want advice:sleliminate wrote:

I would say, look throught the handbook and see if any suggestions resonate with you. Also, keep reading and posting on the forum. We are here to share our experiences and our encouragement.

Many of us have found that acting out is a "solution" to some problem - stress, anxiety, anger, lonliness, boredom.... Learning to deal with the "real" problem releives us of our need to use acting out as the solution. Some of us fail repeatedly because we never realize this important point.

Have you shared your problem with another person (other than us on this anonymous forum)? Sometimes just sharing with a mentor, family member, or friend can be a big help.

Check out some of the dov quotes (link in my signature).