Shtika k'hodah.
Obvously others here have come back after (despite/because of) their marriage, but they are not Mesayin. Mesayin could be right. We are all different.

On the other hand, Mark has a good point, we have no idea how we will be in five minutes, certainly months, perhaps one should be very hesitant not to 'hold strong' that one will be safe in another situation.

Markz wrote on 11 May 2017 02:12:


I guess that I can't say anything out of Mark's earshot. I wanted to get those two posts in in a row so it'll look like no one minded me giving my two sense on marriage but somehow Mark slipped into the middle. :-)

Mesayin wrote on 10 May 2017 21:32:

Sorry to hear what you're going through.

Try to be careful with how you speak (even to yourself). I know when I say that things "happen to me" I'm usually absolving myself of responsibility, and then I convince myself I'm just a victim of circumstance.

Wishing you much Hatzlacha!

Must be pretty demoralizing to fall and get into a rut after 2 years clean. We are all here to help you shlep yourself back out. You did it before and iyh will do it again.

Wow to be clean then have such a hard fall 
YET STILL COME BACK TO US CRAZIES IS


GEVALDIG

So keep on posting and let us no how we can continue helping

We are in this together

KOMTNMW

Thank you all.

Markz 
GS
stillgoing
neshamaincharge
Hashem Help Me
MayanHamisgaber

Stillgoing, I can understand why you ask before you voice your opinion because you might get this:But you shouldn't be afraid to voice your opinion, ever.

neshamaincharge, you are absolutely right. I just used a poor choice of words.

MayanHamisgaber, you are the one that helped me the most, you made me look back at my old posts, I seemed like a spunky, full of positive energy kind of guy and now I seem like a cold intellectual full of complaints. The post about happiness really moved me. If it worked for me then, it should probably work for me now. 

Mesayin wrote on 11 May 2017 19:03:


I wouldn't mind if bigmoish wrote me that, so long as he's talking (read, writing) to me. :-)

Mesayin wrote on 11 May 2017 19:03:

My apologies.

Bigmoish wrote on 11 May 2017 19:31:

No need to apologize, you should also voice your opinion.

One of my long standing issues has been trying to figure what I enjoy doing in my life other then playing mature rated video games and watching movies, if I could find out what I enjoy and put my life into it then I would be much more fulfilled and be more motivated to deal with my lust issues.

B"H I recently discovered a few things that I enjoy and that I think I can be good at.

(By the way I am told that I am very talented and smart which makes it no surprise that I am suffering, "Kul hagadol m'chaveiroi yitzroi gadol mimenee(u)". Also I once heard from Rabbi YY Jacobson that he asked Rabbi A.J Twerski what he learned in his 60 years of dealing with alchaholics, he said: "The people that suffer from addiction are the most sensetive among us".)

The few things I would enjoy are the following:

Philosophy
Psychology
Humor
Music

So I would like to try out here on the forum, and I indulge you that you please respectfully give me a piece of your mind on anything I write.

or you can do a philosophic study on the psychology of funny songs

Something about atheists...

"There are no atheists in a foxhole, but there are plenty of foxholes in an atheist."


There are three words that religious people and atheists say but are interpreted differently:
The proof that god exists is: Chassidim say that there is a god and the litvaks don't disagree.
Proof that god can make a mistake: Chayav udum loimar bishvili nevrah haolam, he created the whole world for/because of me.
BIG MISTAKE.

cordnoy wrote on 01 May 2017 21:15:

Ahem...

One topic that fascinates me is the role that women play in Judaism, now I know it's good to talk about women here but you know what I mean, besides maybe if we can see what role they play we would look at them as people and not objects.

It bothered the fact that Judaism speaks about that fact that everyone is valuable and that no one is second class, Hashem doesn't make spare parts. Yet from an outside perspective it seems that women are second class, the can't learn torah, they can't keep most mitzvos, men separate themselves from them, so on and so forth...

And because of that people are actually criticizing Judaism becauase of it, hence the reform movement making lady rabbi's and the movement of women of the wall. Therefore whenever I can find out anything about that fact that women play just as big role in Judaism, it facinates me.

Let's start here:

​In the times of the Romans and the Greeks the women were indeed second class, since they worshiped the body and any external achievements (Strength in muscle, wealth, power, etc...) and women aren't strong or and don't seem to have any external attributes compared to their male counterpart, therefore they treated second class.

​Fast-forward to today in Western society, I think they have the same idea about women, except since we are in a democracy we can't treat them like second class, so what they do is, they try to make women into men. Give them power, teach them to be physically strong, allow them to dress like a man and so on. Now that they have the same external attributes as a male so now we can treat them the same. But the principal stays the same, a woman being a woman is second class because she is weak.

Judaism on the other hand looks at external achievements and attributes as totally secondary, the primary are the internal intangible achievements, like emunah, dealing with nisyoinis, etc... And let's face it, most of the good qualities of a women is internal, something that you can measure in the height of a muscle, a bank account or popularity. A woman is akeres habayis of a family, a mother is something you can't quantify and many other attributes that they have.   

Therefore, externally Judaism looks like it's treating women as second class but if we delve into the internal we would see that they play just as big a role if not bigger then men do.

They play a much bigger role in my head than men do.