Hi everybody, I joined GYE around twenty days ago after having a fall. It has been very helpful but today I had a fall again. For the last two days I have been biting my hand literally to try to overcome.
I am addicted to sex/porn/masturbation.
It feels as if I lose my senses completely…
Guilt, shame, weak, failure… is what I feel right now…
I cannot continue like this, I have too much to lose…

Welcome!
You're in the right place.
Other than biting your hand, what methods have you tried?
You can check out some of the links in my signature; I found them helpful.

Welcome to the club!

Welcome and congratulations on taking the important step of admitting you have an addiction.

I relate very much to wanting to physically hurt myself if it would stop me. If only it would work. But it won't. The only thing that has worked for me is total willingness to give up lusting. For me that has meant starting with aggressive, bulletproof shmiras eynayim, and verbally surrendering my lustful thoughts and fantasies to Hashem every time they come.

Wishing you much success. Do keep posting.

bigmoish, just read your first post and that really hits home… very similar problems and your are spot on.
I don't have someone to speak to about it. That's why I am here I guess (amongst the obvious reasons of being here)

with613win wrote:

Nobody to talk to?
What are we? Chopped liver?

You didn't fall rather you slipped. You admit that GYE has been helpful. Ultimately I think most humans slip every now & then. The key is to make it more then than now. Once you had some success build on the success. Brush off the dust analyze why you slipped and move on for todays work.

guardyoureyes.com/the-gye-program/the-30-principles/21-principles-for-the-struggle/item/principle-16

all 21 priciples are top but here is another one fo my favourites.

guardyoureyes.com/the-gye-program/the-30-principles/21-principles-for-the-struggle/item/principle-19-we-don-t-lose-past-gains-after-a-fall

WELCOME! Many have been helped here. Keep reading and posting.

Welcome
Many of us have fallen and a lot of us have gotten back on the truck.

B'hatzlachah

By the way, at what point in your life did you think you were stronger and what made you change your mind?

Hey 613.. I was clean for a nice amount of time as well, but recently fell so much lower than I ever gone before that all hope I built for myself shattered and let a new level of depression seep in. I came to GYE to see what else I can learn about this sickness, and I'm hoping to figure out ways besides for chaining my hands to a pole, and to find a relief relating my feelings to others. We all have many feelings and thoughts in common such as..
GUILT for betraying Hashem, all who know (or think they know) me, and myself
SHAME that I actually did such a debased act
WEAKNESS because I seem to have no control over myself
FAILURE since this happens after so many times I think I won.

But more importantly that this can't go on much longer, that I have too much to lose.

But perhaps even more importantly.. that not all is lost. No matter how many times I think I won but fell.

Hatzlacha on your journey from biting your hands to freedom, keep in touch!

Wow, this place is amazing, so many people to actually share and talk to.
Waydown, number 19 really helped me.
Cordnoy, the difference is before I chose to do an aveira now I get overcome. (I understand that it is still my choice and I always have free choice etc)
I shake and sweat. This is why I can see that it has become impossible to continue like this as it is not just a taava, it is an addiction.

I am in the same position. It gets to the point where my head starts hurting. I have fallen so many times but I read again today about the first step in the 12 step program and I realize that how true it is. I CANT break free from my addiction. Neither can anybody. Only G-d can heal me to the extent that I need. I can help the process so can others. But this is in G-ds hands. G-d bless you and be with you.

Hi W613W,
Welcome to this wonderful place. The only good thing about our addiction is that it forces us to join GYE and work with such a wonderful group. There are so many tzaddikim on here who will provide you with all the support you need. Take advantage of this. You will be very glad that you did.

Rav Chaim,

Please read the principle below before you outline shame as one of the important attributes.

guardyoureyes.com/the-gye-program/the-30-principles/21-principles-for-the-struggle/item/principle-18?category_id=279