yiraishamaim wrote:



Thank you very much for the encouragement! i do realize where this easily couldve gone and it freaks me out. no lady deserves to go thru such pain

gibbor120 wrote:


the ups and downs are so hard its not 1 day to the next but rather 1 hr to the next. we went on a great date last night, had a great time! at the end things just turned to intense and difficult conversations

I, and I'm sure many others, can relate.
Honesty helps. Especially consistent and prolonged honesty.

fresh start wrote:


As always we work one day at a time. I do want to point out that many of those in the forum who have had their wife find out, testify that in the course of time their wives said something to the affect that they never would've asked for this addiction business but now in hindsight their marriages and by extension their lives are more solid and meaningful.
Keep loyal to the course -in time sobriety, shalom Bayis and a successful life is a very real and even probable payoff.

yiraishamayim said'

As always we work one day at a time. I do want to point out that many of those in the forum who have had their wife find out, testify that in the course of time their wives said something to the affect that they never would've asked for this addiction business but now in hindsight their marriages and by extension their lives are more solid and meaningful.
Keep loyal to the course -in time sobriety, shalom Bayis and a successful life is a very real and even probable payoff.[/quote]

I daven and hope that this is case by me...

Amen

fresh start wrote:


All decisions in the next few weeks should be taken slowly and with caution.

B'hatzlachah

fresh start wrote:
I know what you mean. Just hang in there. Be honest and keep working. IY"H, you will see the fruits of your labor.

fresh start wrote:

This was a week ago.
Has your wife been reacting to (or least noticing) your positive changes?

i haven't been on for about a week now with the zman starting.
but theres definitely new updates... it took 3 weeks but i finally came clean fully. my wife caught me with chat lines and i admitted and actively pursued help. i had told her that there were no more secrets but.. a week ago thurs and fri i finalized the admittance. i had watched porn 2 different tekufos 1 lasting 2-3 weeks and the other a few months later for a week, the other secret was that i had exchanged numbers with a goy from west coast b4 i got married and started up again with her after marriage...
so my wife transfered from being a supportive wife (which she was for those 3 weeks) into being hurt and feelings of betrayal all over again in addition to being lied openly to her face. so the last week has been again about being totally open and trying to show her my love in actions. one thing i do that others can maybe apply for themselves (my wife saw this mentioned on gye and we applied it) is that i wear contacts but have discontinued that and instead wear glasses and take them off while walking, in a park etc. it has done wonders for me and also has been a way for me to show my commitment to my wife.

fresh start wrote:


I like that expression....I finalized my admittance....I might try that....a 25 year admittance.

Good luck with the glasses business....let us know how that works out. I have tried that in the past but I ended up bumping into people from the opposite gender.

Keep us posted.

B'hatzlachah

Sorry I ain't no pro and I am a beginer. But just curious is it just a chat/ porn thing or are there also J/O and masterbations as well? The reason I ask this is because I found (thanks to GYE!) that just working on no porn and no flirting with BAD WORD REMOVEDzas alone won't do it. You see the reason I watched porn and looked at shiktzas is because I have a lust addiction. Masterbating was and is my addiction. My masterbation has to constantly be feed. Porn just feeds it So if I just stopped porn but still continued masterbating eventually my lust got hold of my body and I'd fall back into the trap. I would need and become realiant in the feeders even if I held back for a few days or weeks. Thats why in my case both issues (J/O and porn) had to be addressed. I think it is possible for some to love porn and not masterbate as I do on a daily basis. For those perhaps stopping the flirttations and porn perhaps is the ikkur. But if you have a masterbation problem then I believe you may want to address that as well.

Forgive me for sticking in my two senses. Lots of luck And keep on fighting brother!

cordnoy wrote:


firstly thanks for the encouragement. i enjoy your posts.
what do you mean by a 25 year admittance??

fresh start wrote:


My pleasure
And thank you

It means I lied in the beginning and I still am.

waydown wrote:


Others will say that this is simply a lust addiction like everyone else and it manifests differentky.

One who is addicted tends to think that they cannot live without it.

B'hatzlachah