Can someone if possible be my sponsor i need a sponsor thanks so much.

Hello!

Hatzileini Na really summarized well what we readers are coming away with from your posts.

One thought I had-- I understand that your parents can be hard to deal with. But if you are 23, your father has certainly thought about your starting to date. As I said, there may be difficult issues, but it's not going to be a surprise to your parents.

(I worked a couple of times on a farm, supervising cholov Yisrael milking operations, but it was just one day at a time. Are you Internet-connected at the farm or not? Are you able to share what kind of work you do there?)

Hang in there!!

Well the farm does have internet here and its shafach and does not work well. I am there 24/7 day and night i sleep there i live there from motzie shabbos until wednesday or thursday sometimes depands on the week. all i do is watch cows get milked thats all i do its really boring for me sometimes i clean the room that i am in but thats about it because there is really nothing for me to do there so i am bored allot and thats really a struggle for me too.

Might be time to make a Moooooooooove in life.

I cant My father wont let me yet i tried that

It is hard to offer anything more than general thoughts, given that I feel like I don't understand much about your situation or what the real challenges are (not telling you that you have to share more, share what and when you are comfortable, but it may impact how well people can offer advice) but if boredom and is an issue, maybe consider taking up a hobby. Learning an instrument is a healthy outlet, and guitars are not too expensive and portable. Exercising is another healthy activity that can be done just about anywhere. If you want any subjects you would be interested in learning about, (or want to work towards a GED if necessary, or prepare for college etc.) there are free online resources for many subjects including Khan Academy (which has short lessons on everything from 1+1 to vector calculus (or something like that.) Websites like coursera offer free college level courses in many subjects and may be a way to learn some things that will help you be able to make a Parnassa in a field that is more of interest. There are many computer programming courses as well.

Hatzlacha!

It sounds like boredom/isolation is a big trigger for you. It is for me too. Are there shiurim you can listen to on mp3, or books you can read? Can you call into phone conferences or just call a friend? Finding ways to fill your time, especially if it involves other people should help a lot.

Shmulke, I'm going out on a limb here a little, but I feel I need to be honest.

Like most of us here, you are addicted to lust and lustful stuff.
You're out in the boondocks doing nothing that helps you grow, and making some money.

This is the perfect setup for an addiction to thrive.

Your addict will not let you move on, for fear of losing his grip on you.
If you get a life then you will have no more excuse to act out.
That may be a more uncomfortable thought than the thought of just keeping doing what you're doing. Because what you're doing includes getting your drug.

If you want to change some things in your life then you need to change some things in your life.
Take back your life while you're still young.
No more excuses.

I Have been doing good the past couple days I got the chizuk to see Avrahm j tewerski and that inspired me a bit just one step everyday babysteps help me thats how i will get through everyday like this. I have to keep trucking on just like truck drivers do and other passionate human beings do

did people see what i posted

Baby steps may just be the best kind of steps

Great that you got inspired and Bez"H it helps provide the spark to continue "truckin." If Rabbi Twersky inspires you, maybe consider seeing how you can incorporate his books/recordings etc. into your life so that you can have a continued source of inspiration since the one thing about inspiration is that it fades... (not trying to be a downer, just that I think a great time to add reinforcements is when things are going well.)

Hatzlacha!

anyone know of a sponser i would like a sponser to get me through the steps and just need a sponser thank you.

anyone know of a sponser i would like a sponser to get me through the steps and just need a sponsor thank you I would really appreciate it so the person as long as I myself can guide me to a better path through this.

One thing I realized that life is always a highway like it keeps going forever so to just got to we all have to drive in that positive direction like a car drives on a highway. Either by giving to support to each other through gye and it goes for any way in life. Hope everyone has a day of htzlacha and thanks for all of your help who comment and give others advise to me personally i have allot of hakrot hatov to people who give advise to me so thank you.

Why not try one of the phone conferences?