Hi,

I just decided to look at the boards and they are definitely triggering me...what the crap! Guys are talking about things here that are instantaneously sending me back in time to when I would do the these things they are saying.

Maybe this is the wrong place for me?? Are chat rooms less detailed?

You can definitely try to start your own boards with your own rules and only use them. You can also try private messaging people. It's really hard to navigate sometimes because you can't predict what others will say.
It happens to be, people are really supposed to shy away from being graphic and triggering others. Are these things the issue or just talking about the whole area in general triggering you? If it's the graphic stories you can request that they tone it down a little. If this doesn't help or you think someone stepped over the line you can contact GYE or report the posts to the administrator.

Thanks, That's what I am talking about - the boards here triggered something in my memory. I understand what you are saying though. I will try chatting maybe. How does it work? Just click on a random persons name and start a conversation?

I am pretty new to this too but I just clicked on a person and just started chatting. I personally chose a user who I had been reading some of their posts and liked what I saw but you can choose whoever you like. Best of Luck. KOP

As a newcomer I can tell you, knowing that you are not the only one is very helpful. Hence some times details are necessary for us newcomers. If all we see is I did teshuva on shemiras eneyim with no details, I think Ok this guys is a tzadik but it doesn't pertian to me who did xyz... and fell so deep. However, if I see that the other individual also did xyz or abc which is similar or perhaps worse than me yet did teshuva its a great help. I understand its a tough balance between reigniting those that recovered by reminding them of their sins verse helping us beginers. Plus yes we do have to abide by a certain amount of tznuis standards. But I am just pointing out that its helpful to us begniers who need that push.

One more suggestion which I think has been somewhat implemented is to make clearer forum categories. So the beginers will have their forums which may be a bit more graphic while those who are past the charata part of teshuva can have their own forum as well.

If they don't work for you then avoid them. My experience is that the chat rooms aren't any different. You have a big mix of people in the forums and on chat who have a lot of ideas, it may not be the best place for you.

The one-on-one instant chat may be a better choice. You can choose who you want to speak with. See what guys have a lot of sobriety and start up a conversation with them. Maybe the phone calls will be helpful to you.

I've been meaning to comment about triggers for awhile, so maybe this is a good spot. I'm sure Dov must have something written on the topic here somewhere, so I guess I'll search around for that as well. Dov was talking about the word trigger and how it sounds like the trigger is causing an automatic and forced response in us. If someone trigger's me, am I the bullet? Maybe I'm a gun in the moshel? Either way, someone comes along and pulls a trigger and that causes a fierce unstoppable reaction. Some people may think that's what a trigger means in our context. That person, place, picture, circumstance etc. is causing me to act. If your thinking that, it's totally wrong. No outside factor can cause or require me to do anything. I have a choice as to how I react to a stimulus. In have a choice as to whether or not I allow that stimulus to have power over me. I only lose that power if I make the choice to give it away. My other choice is to give my power away and surrender the thoughts to God (or however I define my Higher Power).

I personally needed to read and post rather graphically just to open up and get all of it out. But for someone who is getting triggered I suggest starting your own forum and do exactly what you want, saying what you want and running it like you want.

I definitely agree but someone who has the tendency to have trouble in this area should avoid "triggers", for the lack of a better word, or at least have a sober period before exposing himself more.

Hey Serenity,

I have just taken on the agreement that I have a problem, and that it needs to be fixed. I am not a seasoned veteran of knowing what my triggers are, but I have been trained (by a great SA therapist) on how to deal with those triggers.

At the end of the day this is a forum for beginners, newbies like me, there should be a little bit of a warning before someone is going to type something graphic, or semi-graphic (the thing that triggered me a little while ago was NOT very graphic at all), before they continue with their post...Maybe something like:

*****WARNING GRAPHIC CONTENT*****

Before the actual message of the forum is posted? That way guys (like me) will have the opportunity to opt out of reading it?

OTOH it might just make curious people more curious

When I first started posting I put a "warning" like that on a post. The response I got back was something like "did I miss the triggering stuff?" or "still waiting for the triggering stuff." :_)

Maskim making a warning sign will just make ppl wanna look!!

Welcome,

the moderators take a careful look at the posts and make a determination.
while it is true that some graphic details are kept in, it is usually with a purpose.

Additionally, most of us are very triggerable; and in some way shape or form, we are here to learn how to deal with those triggers.

finally, if you ever find a post triggerin', simply click on the bottom right where it says "report to moderator," and you will have done yours.

b'hatzlachah

as promised

guardyoureyes.com/inspiration/questions-and-answers/item/sensitive-to

guardyoureyes.com/inspiration/12-step/item/the-triggers-are-in-us

guardyoureyes.com/inspiration/12-step/item/the-beautiful-woman-i-just-saw

guardyoureyes.com/inspiration/12-step/item/there-i-go-again

Ha! I find it a bit funny.

i spoke to Dov and was avoiding triggering words. He asks me why i am not saying this word and that word. I told him I did not want to trigger anyone. Somehow he has his opinions, which I respect, and many of them do not have an opinion on them as of now.

You may find in his posts a language that for many of us would be triggering. After all who am i to speak related to someone that has so much work done on himself to get achieve sobriety.