Hi I've been involved with this since the age of 13 on the internet and acouple years earlier from magazines and catologs, but it hasnt disturbed my general view of my self as someone who's involved in learning and davening.
I'm not saying that it hasnt disturbed my spiritual progress, obviously it has, it hasnt changed my outlook of myself.
The cause for this is that all these years I've been learning chassidus and lately thinking about certain points of what I've learnt alot, which brought me to the recognition of two major points:
1. The divide that I'm composed of two souls and beeing involved in other and even contrary things doesn't restrain me from relating to the truth.
2. It's not my fight, it's not all dependent on my abiklities, Hashem has placed within me the power to overcome anything.
Actually regarding this second point there's a vort from the Baal Shem Tov (Kesser Shem Tov', pg. 7).
In the sugya of Matan Torah in Mesichta Shabbos there (amongst many others) two mamorei Chazal !.The Yidden said Naaseh V'Nishman 2. כפה עליהם הר כגגית- the Eibishter held the mountain above the Yidden thereby forcing them to accept the Torah.
The question arises if they have already accepted the Tprah why was it neccessary for Hashem to force them?
The Baal Shem Tov explains that if the Yidden would have only accepted the Torah themselves than the keeping of Torah and Mitzvos would be dependent on their abbilities and if in certain situations they wouldn't have the abbility to keep them they would be considered "Onus" - forced whom "Rachmono Patrei" - Hashem exempts him. Therefore Hashem forced them to accept the Torah, thereby ensuring that the fulfillment of Torah and Mitzvos is NOT dependent on the Yidden's own abbility to overcome disturbances and even in a situation that they wouldn't be able to overcome the challenge alone just being aware of the fact that Hashem is "forcing" them to persevere gives them the power to do so.
Actually contemplating on this idea many atime is what gave me the final push to turn to GYE for practical tools to withstand the maajor temptations of modern computer usage.

WELCOME! We're glad to have you. Keep posting.

Welcome!

Welcome to GYE! Check out the links for the Newcomer below.

Hatzlacha!

Welcome to GYE!!

How well do you know your struggle with this particular issue? Do you know it's triggers? How badly does it affect your life (not spiritually)?

Keep on Posting!! KOMT!

Welcome!
Hashem also gives us a break from this temptation if we ask him honestly for it. Every time we're tempted. Before we give in. We can ask Hashem to take our lust for now. We can surrender our lust to Him.

If I've been with it for ten plus years I should know it pretty well, no?

How much it affects me? Staring at a screen for hours on end even looking at something totally clean can turn one into a walking zombie and socially awkward person.

It has also brought me to all kinds of things, using peoples internet phones without permission - stealing, invading peoples rooms for the same purpose, doesn't help much in personal life!

One of the issues I came across I posted here and was well replied too by all the ziknei haforum, it helps to know there are people who've been there done that and share their experiences with others.
Once the Sur Meira is being taken care of (it's self understod that "al ttamin beatmcho ad yom moisoch") I've started to focus on V'aseh tov, there's a sefer that I decided to read (davka read and not learn, I've learnt it already, reading as in reading a book that real and alive and should mean something to me) in my spare time (i.e. time that would have otherwise been spent on the internet)

Care to share which sefer you're talking about?

יום טוב של ראש השנה תרס"ו
Nothing directly related to the struggle and that's a plus the more I keep my mind off it the better. And it's quite long, so it"ll take awhile till I'm finished, but even then there's always the next sefer!

I was looking around and saw all different posts and forums, the "problem" is that whenever I had something to say, someone had already taken the words out of my mouth, and posted what I wanted to say. (It just means that eventually everyone starts to think that the GYE principles are there own!)

Whatever... Last week I had what's called here a wet dream (a normal thing as Rashi explains the Posuk לא טהור מקרה לילה - דיבר הכתוב בהווה the norm is that it happens at night)Well, it set me thinking, although it's a direct consequence of being a human being who has had much inappropriate exposure, what could be done to prevent or minimize the chances of it recurring?

The maskono was that saying קריאת שמע שעל המטה with kavono (ch'mein not shokeling and singing a haunting tune to the words, poshut thinking the meaning of what I'm saying) nightly would help a lot.


This maskono actually came from קריאת שמע שעל המטה itself, in my Nusach we say three times the Posuk in Mishlei אם תשכב לא תפחד ושכבת וערבה שנתיך - If you lay yourself down to sleep, you shall not fear, you"ll lie and sleep sweetly. "laying yourself down to sleep" meaning not falling asleep as you are (for then you are susceptible to suffering the consequences of your being) rather putting yourself to sleep with a קריאת שמע שעל המטה thinking about what's being said which will guard you on a spiritual level from all unwanted thoughts and dreams.

A small piece I once wrote whilst going through a hard time in the struggle.



One who is going out of his wits, what is he to do? Leave entirely? Or summon extraordinary powers to try gain re-entry?

When one has reached the end of the tunnel with no light to be found, is he to turn around? Or break through with immense strength to reach stable ground?

One who’s life is hanging on a thread, is he to deem himself dead? Or attempt to weave a rope from it instead?

One who has reached the brink of despair, is there any hope of reprieve? Or is he merely to endure and believe?

The truth of the matter is that every Jew in the innermost realms of his heart bears immense spiritual powers. That when tapped into correctly, can counteract and channel the above raging emotions, transfer them into fuel, to power his upwards journey to the greatest spiritual heights of the service of The Almighty Omnipresent One. This basically consists of doing what He wants, and not what the egoistic self conscious “I” wills to do.

In order to discover the Divine will, it is incumbent upon you to yield your entire being to a greater spiritual master, who will teach you the will of The Holy One, such masters you ought to find at the home of your local Orthodox Rabbi.

Seek them out, find them and utilize their great knowledge of the intricacies of the Jewish souls to allow them to aid you in the spiritual healing process. Beginning with a influx of positivity in your life, through fulfilling basic practical commandments of The Benevolent One, laying Tefilin each weekday, accepting His Divine Kingship twice daily, fuse your intellect to His by studying His Torah and performing righteous deeds - support the needy, lend a listening ear to the distressed and in the spiritual sense expose him to the new world you have discovered.

Subsequently, after your life has been filled with positivity, all negativity can be washed away smoothly and easily. Just as an ice filled lot during the winter demands hours of labor to clear, but one day of spring sun clears it effortlessly. So too only after a considerable portion of your life has been warmed with the positivity of The Divine Will, you can begin to deal with the frostiness of negativity that was brought upon yourself before you came to the realization of the truth.

Follow the guidance of one who has tread this path and be assured of serenity, peace and tranquility until the coming of Moshiach - may he come speedily in our days - and beyond…


*The above drastic shift of feelings from deep despair to immense hope is a natural characteristic of the Jewish nation who are not confined by anything.*

Something else at different stage of down.





The urge… the emptiness… The need of expression, that shallow

feeling of desolation…

When one is at the receiving end, whilst one stands in a state of reception, than one

is content, with no need for any form of expression. His psychological and emotional

needs are sustained by his accepting and receiving from the better and greater than

him.

When one forcefully distances himself from receiving anything from anyone. than

the emptiness begins to eat away at his psychological and emotional health, driving

him to insanity. Then he feels the need to express himself, project his insanity upon

One must meet force with force, just as he removed himself from stability with

force, he must remove himself from insanity with force.

How? You ask. How can one come to remove himself from insanity? The forceful

removal from normalcy is understood, for everyone contains within themselves

some form of insanity, which can always rear his ugly head and overcome any sense

of normalcy. But once insanity has overtaken him and all sense of normalcy… How is

he to rid himself of insanity?!

Tunnel deeper… uncover the depths of the human soul, the power that lies within

every human being to overcome anything, the ability to overwhelm even the most

insane. Utilize this power to banish the insanity, restore the sense of normalcy ahd

return to receiving from those better and greater than you.

Than…

The fulfillment, the feeling of content leave you with a calm and

collectedness ready to face any challenge.

B"H, all good just hit 15 days.

Today I almost slipped, I was sitting um the staff lounge and then a friend set his phone to charge he lets me use it often but it has unfiltered internet and I have acted out on it before, so I just got up and went somewhere else and read a book.
BORUCH HASHEM