hi i would just like to share my story and the way i try to take care of it now more then ever before...
i started one day when i was i think twelve to watch porn and ever since then i continued until today and i was always trying to stop but it was so hard and in addittion to that i was never able to talk to anyone abt it while in yeshivah i did mention once to my rabbi that i would masturbate sometimes but i was not ready to admit that i was actually watching porn, that was already too much until approximately a year and a half ago i admitted to another rabbi everything i was doing after that i had a month of sobriety and then i fell again into porn.

later this year i succeded to do a bit more then a month but that was just luck i guess ever since them i keep on trying to stay sober until earlier this week i decided that i must be at leat as much active in this website as i am actiove thinking about acting out watching women in the street etc.

i already read the handbook i read almost two chizuk emails per day (just like a medicine:) )

i try to think about the tools more and more even though it could be very tough sometimes
since the beggining of this week im very motivated to get rid of my bad habits and therefore i decided to be much more active on the forum.

here is my question i see that there are a lot of tools that i didnt use yet what is your advice for me to do even better?

thx to everyone

Welcome,

Good first steps
don't make any rash decisions, and don't persist in questionin' yourself.
Read stuff here, post, pray, learn mussar and do your darnest to stay outta trouble.
See what happens.

b'hatzlachah

this is what i was tryinh until now pretty much very hard to stay consistant after a week i usually act out...

Welcome and congrats on taking your first step to open up.

Here on this site many of us open up and learn how to recover. It is a two way street, we encourage others and we get courage to succeed. We try this and that until we find the proper way to recovery that WORKS FOR ME. One of the key points that works for most of us, and us essential for recovery, is to take it one day at a time (or one minute at a time).

keep it here, post and read, keep learning how others are trailing along, and perhaps you will bezras hashem recover and heal one way or another.

Hatzlacha

Can you pinpoint triggers that "cause" you to act out. It could be physical triggers. Are there fences you could put up to avoid them? Are they emotional triggers, lonliness, boredom, anger? What can you do to deal with those in a healthy way? How can you stay busy with positive "stuff" so you stay into life, and outa trouble? How can you be more involved with people and stay out of isolation?

Just a few questions that popped into my head.

i dont realy know how to answer those questions even if i would say that very often it happened because of boredom there was also many times that i was busy and because of stress i acted out...

and you know even when you are very busy you always have that moment by yourself...

this year i recovered from some little sickness which gave a lot of positive enrergy and helped me a lot to stay sober but that lasted only for a month!

as i'm talking i am very positive motivated inspired but whats going to be tomorrow or next week?

Welcome! Thanks for being here and sharing with us.

lamplighter wrote:


Welcome!

It is a challenge, but from what I have seen, any focus beyond the present day (maybe even present minute) is wasted energy, and can make the challenge harder. Of course that does not mean that one should not plan ahead to avoid triggers and issues, but when it comes to thinking about the challenge, now is what it is all about. The Yetzer Hora wants us to think things like, "you'll never be able to do this for the next year" or "you will start the sobriety of the rest of your life tomorrow" or quite simply "don't you realize how much you will miss this if you give it up forever."

But we can't fight tomorrow's battle today. And research shows that we are often very poor judges of how we will feel at another time anyways. (I can speak personally and say that one of greatest fears materialized, and while it was painful, the anxiety I carried for years before was far worse.

All that said, the substance of your statement, that the inspiration will fade, is likely true. Part of the challenge now is to find ways to help reorient yourself when you are losing control. For many here it means reaching out to someone you really trust and confide in (maybe someone you "met" here.) For others it is logging in here and reading, or reading from the White Book. It may be exercising, it may be using a Shevuah etc.

And Bez"H as you move forward hopefully you will find that despite challenging days, your whole life is improving and you are growing, and that can definitely help.

Hatzlacha!

thanks to everyone for the chizuk bh i've been clean for two weeks already!

i feel so different then two weeks ago, i was therefore wondering if after a while the approach should change?

i mean after a while the inspiration and chayus from the beggining is not the same, any advice on the subject?

Now that you've done some sur mera, the next step is aseh tov.
Replace the bad habit with some new, good healthy habits.
Start (or increase) exercising.
Make a date with a friend and go for a hike.
Set up a chavrusa bein hazmanim.
Eat something healthy, stop eating something unhealthy.
Talk to your parents and siblings.

2 weeks is great! At the same time, it's still not that long. Recovery requires constant maintenance. One of the biggest challenges I face is complacency. B"H, I'm doing well, and slips are usually not that big. But, they are wake up calls. There is no auto pilot. AE gave some good suggestions. Anything that keeps you engaged in living is great!

How u been?