Hello, my name is Chaim, im 24 and im a RAGING Sexaholic!!!!!
Baruch Hashem with Hashems help, the help of my sponser and going to Meetings, I AM SOBER 202 DAYS!!!

the reason why im so excited is because he fact that im sober this long is a freaking miracle!!

Let me tell you about myself.....

I discovered porn at age 12, for some reason i was never attracted to women, only to men.
I was severely emotionally abused by my father, grandfather and every single kid at school from second grade till 12th grade. it was no wonder that i wanted to escape, from the time i woke till i went to bed i had constant abuse. My father yelled at me so much that i am traumatized to this day, if someone older then me yells in anger at me, i close up in a shell and cant function.
So when i discovered masturbation i found the escape i was looking for and immediately was doing it 4-10 times a day. i skipped classes, family outings and meals just to masturbate

Around the age of 20 i discovered a gay guy in my yeshiva and we started cting out together, this led to a huge amount of searching and having anonymous sex with other men for the next 3 years. my life had truly become unmanageable.

Just one particular story to show how powerless i was. One night i had been trying to do it myself and stay sober, i was clutching my sheets on my bed trying not to act out, all of a sudden, i felt myself getting up, getting dressed and getting into my car, the whole time my head was screaming GO HOME, GO BACK HOME, DONT DO THIS.
I ended up in a porn shop acting out, i had never done this before and thank gd never had the urge to do it again, but all i remember from that night was my head screaming the whole time WHAT ARE YOU DOING, GO HOME YOU IDIOT. Yet i couldnt stop myself.

One day i realized that my friends from yeshiva (which they didnt know i had been kicked out of already because of my acting out) stopped talking to me. I was told that MY MENAHEL HAD PUT ME IN CHEREM BECAUSE OF WHAT I WAS DOING. This was my rock bottom. i could take it anymore.

Long story short i ended up in Sexaholics Anonymous which saved my life. i started working the steps and now baruch hashem im starting to sponser others. im am so greatful to gd for the miracles he has performed for me. im at a point now where i can actually start shidduch dating. i never thought i would be dating in sobriety yet here i am.

Im also going through my trauma issues with a therapist which is amazing, im completely different then the way i was when i started with him.

Im greatful that i can post here and hope to post more in the future

Thanks for letting me share

Chaim M

Welcome!
Great story! Keep up the good work!
It's stories like these that keep this site going.

hey, amazing story and keep on posting! would love to talk through the chat assuming its working properly (i apologize about last time not sure what happened)

Welcome Chaim!!!!

Thanks for sharing that wonderful post. And mazel tov for joining.

Keep up the good work and keep on posting!!!

Welcome,

thanks for the share.

continued hatzlachah

Welcome! Thanks for the share! I wish you continued success!

thanks everybody

Welcome to GYE! Thank you for sharing. Pls send me an email chaver.

Welcome ChaiChai,
Thank you for sharing. What a painful, heartbreaking story, yet also one of someone who rises out of the ashes to live. loi omus ki echyeh... You must be shaking the heavens.
Please stay with us.

Chaim,

You're the greatest! Your share is such a source of inspiration for us! Stay in touch.

Yudi

It is amazing and inspiring how you picked yourself up from such a depth. It makes us all want to be as strong and successfull as you. Thank you!