Even if we're one family but we're still strangers when I decide something you should rather try to move a building then change my mind it's a good and bad habit but that's the fact even if I'm one against a million saying I'm wrong so not saying that I'm guaranteed not to fall again but it's not one blow that could shake me it needs to be a huge blast if anything so be"h I feel confident that I can walk through this. And what you're saying about other people that's true it's not in my control I failed but now I'm trying to focus to do what hashem wants from me and he wants I should do what's in my control the rest I should leave for him and daven that they shouldn't harm me.

That's a great way of looking at things. Just be carefull and look for warning signs. Stay safe and don't be hesitant to get real advice if things on the other end look like they might flare up. Its a really dangerous area that can have devastating outcomes, hamevin yavin. Keep it up on your end and keep posting for better or for worse. All the best!

Thank you I will iyh keep you updated and if I feel I have to reach out I'll definitely do it but as long as I feel I don't need it I don't want to use it.

Every time I sign into GYE I get a pop up that disappears quickly. I figure many of us don't even get a chance to read it. I managed to quickly copy a portion of it and I was like, "holy moly"! I don't think any of us ever saw this, so I thought to paste it here for us.


------------------------- It's best to share what has worked for us in our own experiences rather than trying to think up good advice for the person we are chatting with. We are not here to play therapist/rabbi, we are here as people who could relate to each other because we've been through similar situations. Sometimes just being understanding, even if we don't have all the answers, is helpful. -------------------------

Hate being like this but if you really care to stop you must must must make them stop reaching out to you. I dont have any ideas how except change your phone number, DONT EVEN OPEN AN email from them (consider it a virus email) and the like. You will not recover as long as you have live temptation in front of you. ( I would say threaten them with the police for harassment as you owe them nothing and they are destroying you from both worlds but thats an empty threat since you cant do that obviously or you risk exposure). you definatly need serious professional help not friendly advice. Hopefully you can find someone to help you.( R Chaim Epstein ztl started a mental health group to help our community maybe try them). G-d be with you in helping you find a way to terminate their relationship.

jake08 wrote:


yank69 wrote:

May I suggest you read this 6545

guardyoureyes.com/forum/17-Balei-Battims-Forum/129811-HIGH-INFIDELITY?limit=15&start=90

There's a lot of wisdom in there that might be nogaya to this thread.

When communicating with these women may I suggest you mention that you must stop this altogether for "the sake of the children" -continuing the relationship will just mean tragedy "for the children", who are totally innocent. (When saying this to them get emotional and teary-eyed)
Besides being the emes-
Politicians always use "the children" when trying to evoke emotion and get their point across. President Clinton was a master at this.
In your case you want to say something emotionally potent in order for them to distance themselves from you. As well,children do not pose any threat to them, as opposed to - you simply have lost interest in them or have found another woman more to your liking.

Thank you I cut all communication with them!

Thank you for sharing this with me agree has a lot!

6545 wrote:


Congats on taking this big step! Thanks for keeping us updated.

6545 wrote:


So happy for you.

Keep up the good work. Only you really know how difficult it is in so many ways.
Be'ezrah Hashem you have saved yourself and your loved ones so much grief.

Wonderful News!

Wishing you much success!

Keep it up and I hope everything proceeds well. Keep your head up, your eyes open, and remember we are all here for you. Keep on posting!

Hatzlocha rabbah!
Just a suggestion that helped me a lot while going through my initial turnaround to get sober. While you are working on the סור מרע to stop what your doing. Don't forget to focus on the עשה טוב. Building a real and truly meaningful relationship with your wife. They work hand in hand. Stopping these relationships will allow you to really focus on loving your wife. And focusing on your wife will help you get out of these harmful relationships.( I'm not only talking about acting out, but also in helping you deal with your inner fight). That thread I suggested gives a lot of advice on this.
Just a suggestion. Some may argue, but it helped me a lot.