Hello everyone ! it seems this is the way to introduce myself and interact to help me reach my 90 day goal .
ive been struggling with looking at inappropriate material since my teen years . ive definitely had times where ive been clean for 50 -60 days but im not sure ive ever gotten to a full 90 days . ive figured out recently where and when i have my struggles. i have filters on my phone and computer which bh has helped me alot alot to stay away from looking at inappropriate things. yet i still have terrible thoughts at times and end up doing other averios i shouldnt . the times that i figured out are harder for me are the weekends basically . thursday night , saturday night and sunday are extremely extremely hard for me . if i fail its usually then . i want to get to being clean for 90 days so badly. i know its not an overnight fix i know its a hourly daily weekly struggle . so im here . any help any chizuk any ideas are appreciated . thanks again to anyone who responds or who could be of help !

Hi DBD,
glad you join us here !

Posting is a huge step in recovery and you will surely not regret it !

I recognised myself when you spoke about these periods which are more likely to lead to a fall, as motsei Chabat or Sunday.. One of the most important thing I learnt here is that lust is not the problem in itself, it is only the solution we use to counter the problem. So you may analyse why these periods are more dangerous and then find the solution. Often it is a fear of real life and the way to escape it.

Anw, I don't know if you have already checked all the tools here. The handbook was very helpful for me as it is concise and well written ! Sharing, the most regularly you can, is also something very important.
And brace yourself to hear a lot this motto here : "one day at time", like your 2nd day clean earns the same (even more?) that your 2000th. Don't focus on the number of days, just focus on what should be done on the present moment and then do it !

All these tools are really specific and don't work the same way for everyone. You have to find your way !

Wishing you a lot of hatslah'a and I hope to hear a lot of good news from you soon !

Welcome,

perhaps avoid the weekends or those nights.
Control/alt/delete sometimes works.

Well anyway, you got it easier than me.
I fall either when the sun is up or when it is down; sometimes, even in between.

What have you been doin' in the past for recovery?

b'hatzlachah

WELCOME! Unstructured times are the worst. You may want to fill those times with positive stuff, especially if it involves social interation with family or friends.

You may have a bigger problem that needs addressing as well.

Welcome to GYE! I can relate to the days and times that are particular hard for you. Thursday and Saturday nights were hard for me. Anyway, glad you're here. Hatzlacha!

Thank you everyone -serenity, gibbor120,cordnoy,palti yossef for all the chizuk and welcomes. clearly i need to fill those times with better things to do . i will def take the advice and try to post as much as i can to keep me going strong and more importantly to just take it one at a time .
@ cordnoy- in the past of tried exercise , getting more sleep , reading , and saying tehilloim or learning . anything else you can suggest im all ears ....obviously as i mentioned my cmputer and phone have filters?

@gibbor120-" Unstructured times are the worst. You may want to fill those times with positive stuff, especially if it involves social interation with family or friends.

You may have a bigger problem that needs addressing as well."

why especiALLY if it involves social interaction ?
and what may be the bigger problem that may need addrerssing ?

Thanks again everyone !

Great idea to join us here on the forum.

Welcome

Besides the times of the week that you find most challenging, do you find you are more likely to "act out" when you feel a little anxious? or uncomfortable?
Many of us find that these feelings aggravate the issue.
How about you?

if you are somewhat addicted, none of those things you mentioned treat the core issue.
have you read the gye handbook?

b'hatzlachah

daybyday12345 wrote:

Many of us tend to isolate,and "getting out of isolation" is a great tool for staying sober. Once, my wife was out of town for several days with the kids. I made sure to have things to do, some of which involved getting together with a friend. It worked out well, B"H. I used to have a hard time staying sober if my wife went to the store and no one was home.

daybyday12345 wrote:
Notice the word "may". Many of us have emotional baggage of some sort. There are some who don't. You may not. Some are depressed, or anxious, or lonely, were abused in some way... All those can be triggers.

Thanks everyone again.
@gibbor120 - Now i understand why your saying not to isolate and to get out of isolation and to socialize. Makes total sense . Thats definitely part of the issue with saturday night and sunday . Def. Im gonna try this weekend to fill up my time and preferably with things with people .
and def hear about the possible other triggers . need to think about that .

@yiraishamaim - thank you for joining and for the question . No bh i dont find the urge to "act out" other then those times really . its really the weekends and after heavy meals and drinking beer . hard alcohol not beer yes .which i only really have on the weekends too...

@cordnoy- i did read it once a while back . i should probably re read it asap .

well here comes the weekend . wish me luck . im gonna really work on not being isolated and keeping busy ...

maybe go easy on the beer as well

well bh one weekend to be proud of ! took everyone's advice and socialized more then i usually do. was so much less isolation . most def helped . weekend by weekend day by day hour by hour minute by minute all thanks to you guys. THANKS

Great to hear!

hey everyone .... hope all are doing well . bh im 17 days clean as of today . another long weeknd comng ahead . anybody have any newideas or ways to make the time go by quickly and easily and without falling ?
Thanks in advance ......

How about oldies but goodies? Some are obviously for Sunday, not Shabbos.

Get together with friends. Join a shiur. Read a book. Go for a walk, bike ride, swim etc. Clean your shul or beis medrash. Clean the attick or garage.

Learn a new skill or hobby. Volunteer. Become a "big brother" or mentor for someone.

Stay busy, especially in settings with other people, so you are not in isolation.