Read once, then minimize to save screen space.

Forum Overview

Post on the forum to get support, tell your story and reach out for help when feeling weak!

You will never be alone in this struggle again.

The GYE forum is anonymous platform of group support, and a life-line of chizuk for hundreds of people in exactly your situation. 

To use the forum you need to first become a member of the site, sign up here.

After signing up to the site, go to the forum, enter one of our boards and press "New Topic" to begin posting! 
Welcome, Guest
GYE
Forum for Jewish Men
Introduce Yourself

Free Choice?!!
(0 viewing) 
Welcome to our forum! Introduce yourself here (anonymously, of course) and get a warm welcome from the rest of the community!
Reply Topic
New Topic

TOPIC: Free Choice?!! 32837 Views

Re: Free Choice?!! 29 Jul 2015 01:43 #260478

  • serenity
  • OFFLINE
  • Platinum Boarder
  • "ONE DAY AT A TIME"
  • Posts: 1790
  • Karma: 168
Even if I went to all those calls, I'd still have more time (Quality and Quantity) at work and with family then I had when I was acting out!
Much Hatzlacha!

My Threads:
Glad to be here
Don't slip it hurts
Lions & Tigers & Internet, Oh My!

--"ולא המדרש עיקר, אלא המעשה"
--"To promise not to do a thing is the surest way in the world to make a body want to go and do that very thing." Mark Twain
--"If, when you honestly want to, you find you cannot quit entirely, or if when drinking (or lusting), you have little control over the amount you take, you are probably alcoholic (or sexaholic)." AA Big Book P. 45. Parenthesis added.
--You hit rock bottom when you decide to stop digging.

Re: Free Choice?!! 17 Aug 2015 22:48 #262007

  • stillgoing
  • Current streak: 168 days
  • OFFLINE
  • Platinum Boarder
  • "LIFE IS ONLY HARD FOR THE FIRST 120 YEARS!"
  • Posts: 1684
  • Karma: 154
yiraishamaim
A wise man told me lately: "we are in the business of efforts, Hashem is in the business of results"
If we truly yearn for sobriety, put in our truly best effort -work on emuna and limiting possible triggers Hashem will send the Yeshua

But that's not as easy as it sounds. I feel that I'm clearly not putting in my "truly best effort", if I was, I might actually succeed! The fact that I haven't succeeded is not why I say that this is not my "truly best effort", there are many times when I know clearly that I should go left, and I go right. Or leave, and I stay. I get myself into the mess almost every time. Like vertigo, instead of running away, I run right in.
BIG SHOT!
Free Choice?!
Yirai's Memories
STORY TIME :)

Dr. Seuss - You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself in any direction you choose. You're on your own, and you know what you know. And you are the guy who'll decide where to go.

FSKOT! (Fell Shmell--Keep on Trucking) (The Rebba R' Bards)

Re: Free Choice?!! 18 Aug 2015 11:24 #262058

  • yiraishamaim
  • OFFLINE
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Posts: 1021
  • Karma: 99
Sure, that is the nature of addiction. "true best effort" cannot mean simply trying one's best to make the right choice of resisting lust and doing Hashem's will. If it did we would not need the forum and all other useful tools for recovery.

Doing one's best means on the journey to recovery a person is committed to do what ever it takes for sobriety - for each individual it is different. As well, it takes some time to hone the approach according to the individual. However, the passion to succeed has to be there. The commitment to do what it takes has to be there. Most of all the actions have to happen. That means any, a combination of,or all of the following: active member of this forum, 12 steps, attendance at SA meetings, medication, get a sponsor. I am sure I missed some other points that "al regel achas" I did not mention.


stillgoing, most people fall a number of times until they get into a groove - a program that works for them. Of course even then there is no guarantee it will last forever.
Pick yourself up and tweak your approach. Do whatever it takes for sobriety. I am personally floored by the efforts some people on this forum make for their sobriety. Some even have multiple addictions. But they are steadfast in their commitment and will do WHATEVER is necessary for recovery. And even though they might say that they are not in charge and they give themselves over to Hashem - which of course is true - do not take that to mean they just linger and participate in their recovery with one foot out the door - No sir,
they are doing their part, putting forth an hishtadlus with all their heart. A happy non- nervous heart but a serious committed heart just the same.

Re: Free Choice?!! 18 Aug 2015 21:09 #262148

  • stillgoing
  • Current streak: 168 days
  • OFFLINE
  • Platinum Boarder
  • "LIFE IS ONLY HARD FOR THE FIRST 120 YEARS!"
  • Posts: 1684
  • Karma: 154
Acupuncture?
BIG SHOT!
Free Choice?!
Yirai's Memories
STORY TIME :)

Dr. Seuss - You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself in any direction you choose. You're on your own, and you know what you know. And you are the guy who'll decide where to go.

FSKOT! (Fell Shmell--Keep on Trucking) (The Rebba R' Bards)

Re: Free Choice?!! 19 Aug 2015 00:30 #262165

  • yiraishamaim
  • OFFLINE
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Posts: 1021
  • Karma: 99
Ha Ha!

Re: Free Choice?!! 19 Aug 2015 23:12 #262322

  • stillgoing
  • Current streak: 168 days
  • OFFLINE
  • Platinum Boarder
  • "LIFE IS ONLY HARD FOR THE FIRST 120 YEARS!"
  • Posts: 1684
  • Karma: 154
I love this clip from Gevurah's thread.

Attachment C:\fakepath\Marshmallow test[2].wmv not found


Sorry, I wasn't able to find it again to post the link to the thread (Hello my friends...) but it's worthwhile to see this. It's a study of little kids to see how long they can go in a room alone with a marshmallow sitting in front of them without eating it. If they can do it then they get two marshmallows. Not all of the kids were able to do it, but the faces they make and the sneaking little bits when they thought they were alone is so similar to us white knuckling. We think no one is watching us...
...when really
:pinch: Warning: Spoiler!
BIG SHOT!
Free Choice?!
Yirai's Memories
STORY TIME :)

Dr. Seuss - You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself in any direction you choose. You're on your own, and you know what you know. And you are the guy who'll decide where to go.

FSKOT! (Fell Shmell--Keep on Trucking) (The Rebba R' Bards)
Last Edit: 16 Nov 2015 23:16 by stillgoing.

Re: Free Choice?!! 19 Aug 2015 23:25 #262328

  • Gevura Shebyesod
  • Current streak: 2626 days
  • OFFLINE
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Posts: 3928
  • Karma: 446
Here it is:
https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/19-Introduce-Yourself/111583-hello-my-friends?limit=15&start=195#127835
Scroll down a few posts to see the video as an attachment.

I love it too but did you have to post it 6 times? or are you just tryin to catch up to Cordy's post count?
!אנא עבדא דקודשא בריך הוא

וּבְיָדְךָ כֹּחַ וּגְבוּרָה וּבְיָדְךָ לְגַדֵּל וּלְחַזֵּק לַכֹּל

And every day that you want to waste, that you want to waste, you can
And every day that you want to wake up, that you want to wake, you can
And every day that you want to change, that you want to change, yeah
I'll help you see it through...


"If it would be so easy there wouldn't be a GYE, but if it would be impossible there also wouldn't be a GYE."

"Sometimes a hard decision leads to an easier outcome."

- General Grant



My story: guardyoureyes.com/forum/19-Introduce-Yourself/111583-hello-my-friends
Last Edit: 19 Aug 2015 23:27 by Gevura Shebyesod.

Re: Free Choice?!! 19 Aug 2015 23:30 #262329

  • Gevura Shebyesod
  • Current streak: 2626 days
  • OFFLINE
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Posts: 3928
  • Karma: 446
Oh, and you misspelled my name. 6 times! Oy my ego....
!אנא עבדא דקודשא בריך הוא

וּבְיָדְךָ כֹּחַ וּגְבוּרָה וּבְיָדְךָ לְגַדֵּל וּלְחַזֵּק לַכֹּל

And every day that you want to waste, that you want to waste, you can
And every day that you want to wake up, that you want to wake, you can
And every day that you want to change, that you want to change, yeah
I'll help you see it through...


"If it would be so easy there wouldn't be a GYE, but if it would be impossible there also wouldn't be a GYE."

"Sometimes a hard decision leads to an easier outcome."

- General Grant



My story: guardyoureyes.com/forum/19-Introduce-Yourself/111583-hello-my-friends

Re: Free Choice?!! 19 Aug 2015 23:44 #262332

  • stillgoing
  • Current streak: 168 days
  • OFFLINE
  • Platinum Boarder
  • "LIFE IS ONLY HARD FOR THE FIRST 120 YEARS!"
  • Posts: 1684
  • Karma: 154
Gevura without a h
Oh, and you misspelled my name. 6 times! Oy my ego....


I didn't misspell your name, I just added to it. Kol hamosif, harai zea mishubach.
Sorry, it wasn't going through at first so I kept on pushing send and now that you responded, I can't even delete them! The system used to delete repeated posts. I guess not today.
Anyway, thanks for the link. I think my attachment didn't work.
BIG SHOT!
Free Choice?!
Yirai's Memories
STORY TIME :)

Dr. Seuss - You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself in any direction you choose. You're on your own, and you know what you know. And you are the guy who'll decide where to go.

FSKOT! (Fell Shmell--Keep on Trucking) (The Rebba R' Bards)
Last Edit: 20 Aug 2015 17:20 by stillgoing.

Re: Free Choice?!! 19 Aug 2015 23:51 #262334

  • Gevura Shebyesod
  • Current streak: 2626 days
  • OFFLINE
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Posts: 3928
  • Karma: 446
Umm... look again.

stillgoing wrote:
I love this clip from Gerurah's thread.
!אנא עבדא דקודשא בריך הוא

וּבְיָדְךָ כֹּחַ וּגְבוּרָה וּבְיָדְךָ לְגַדֵּל וּלְחַזֵּק לַכֹּל

And every day that you want to waste, that you want to waste, you can
And every day that you want to wake up, that you want to wake, you can
And every day that you want to change, that you want to change, yeah
I'll help you see it through...


"If it would be so easy there wouldn't be a GYE, but if it would be impossible there also wouldn't be a GYE."

"Sometimes a hard decision leads to an easier outcome."

- General Grant



My story: guardyoureyes.com/forum/19-Introduce-Yourself/111583-hello-my-friends

Re: Free Choice?!! 20 Aug 2015 00:18 #262336

  • cordnoy
  • OFFLINE
  • Moderator
  • I'm sailin', for I've got to be free
  • Posts: 11359
  • Karma: 536
Toot!
Sex!
Ooh!
Ooh!
My email: thenewme613@hotmail.com
My threads:
GYE Handbook | Gibbor's Insights | GYE FAQ - Thanks Skep and DMS123456789 White Book | Big Book (Alcoholics Anonymous)

If one gives up at the first sign of a struggle, he is really not ready to be successful."
"Tryin' and doin' are two different thin's - tryin' is hopin'; doin' is succeedin'.
"The right thin' to do and the hard thin' to do are usually the same."

Disclaimer: I am not a cheerleader; B"H, there are many on the site. I am here to change myself, and with God's help, by some mistake, I might even help change others.

MY POSTS ARE NOT WRITTEN AS A MODERATOR UNLESS EXPLICITLY STATED.

Re: Free Choice?!! 20 Aug 2015 00:18 #262337

  • cordnoy
  • OFFLINE
  • Moderator
  • I'm sailin', for I've got to be free
  • Posts: 11359
  • Karma: 536
Gevura Shebyesod wrote:
Here it is:
https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/19-Introduce-Yourself/111583-hello-my-friends?limit=15&start=195#127835
Scroll down a few posts to see the video as an attachment.

I love it too but did you have to post it 6 times? or are you just tryin to catch up to Cordy's post count?


not on my watch!
My email: thenewme613@hotmail.com
My threads:
GYE Handbook | Gibbor's Insights | GYE FAQ - Thanks Skep and DMS123456789 White Book | Big Book (Alcoholics Anonymous)

If one gives up at the first sign of a struggle, he is really not ready to be successful."
"Tryin' and doin' are two different thin's - tryin' is hopin'; doin' is succeedin'.
"The right thin' to do and the hard thin' to do are usually the same."

Disclaimer: I am not a cheerleader; B"H, there are many on the site. I am here to change myself, and with God's help, by some mistake, I might even help change others.

MY POSTS ARE NOT WRITTEN AS A MODERATOR UNLESS EXPLICITLY STATED.

Re: Free Choice?!! 20 Aug 2015 17:26 #262404

  • stillgoing
  • Current streak: 168 days
  • OFFLINE
  • Platinum Boarder
  • "LIFE IS ONLY HARD FOR THE FIRST 120 YEARS!"
  • Posts: 1684
  • Karma: 154
gEVura without an h
Umm... look again.

stillgoing wrote:

I love this clip from Gerurah's thread.


oh! woops. I guess that was why I couldn't find it. (8maybe I should have looked for 90)
BIG SHOT!
Free Choice?!
Yirai's Memories
STORY TIME :)

Dr. Seuss - You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself in any direction you choose. You're on your own, and you know what you know. And you are the guy who'll decide where to go.

FSKOT! (Fell Shmell--Keep on Trucking) (The Rebba R' Bards)
Last Edit: 20 Aug 2015 17:33 by stillgoing.

Re: Free Choice?!! 20 Aug 2015 17:29 #262405

  • Gevura Shebyesod
  • Current streak: 2626 days
  • OFFLINE
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Posts: 3928
  • Karma: 446
You did it again!!!!

stillgoing wrote:
guVura without an h
Umm... look again.

stillgoing wrote:

I love this clip from Gerurah's thread.


oh! woops. I guess that was why I couldn't find it. (8maybe I should have looked for 90)


It must be so hard to type with feathertips....
!אנא עבדא דקודשא בריך הוא

וּבְיָדְךָ כֹּחַ וּגְבוּרָה וּבְיָדְךָ לְגַדֵּל וּלְחַזֵּק לַכֹּל

And every day that you want to waste, that you want to waste, you can
And every day that you want to wake up, that you want to wake, you can
And every day that you want to change, that you want to change, yeah
I'll help you see it through...


"If it would be so easy there wouldn't be a GYE, but if it would be impossible there also wouldn't be a GYE."

"Sometimes a hard decision leads to an easier outcome."

- General Grant



My story: guardyoureyes.com/forum/19-Introduce-Yourself/111583-hello-my-friends

Re: Free Choice?!! 20 Aug 2015 17:38 #262408

  • stillgoing
  • Current streak: 168 days
  • OFFLINE
  • Platinum Boarder
  • "LIFE IS ONLY HARD FOR THE FIRST 120 YEARS!"
  • Posts: 1684
  • Karma: 154

You're not kidding. Ever since Snappy attacked Flyhigh, I've been biting my claws with fear. Now I can't type. You can tell Cordnoy that that's the reason that I sometimes misspell his name too. It's what's in the heart (woodford?) that matters.

Btw, if you look back at my post you'll see that I spelled your name right. You must have switched it when you quoted me.

(at least you know that I don't cut and paste. I actually take the time to write out important names.)
BIG SHOT!
Free Choice?!
Yirai's Memories
STORY TIME :)

Dr. Seuss - You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself in any direction you choose. You're on your own, and you know what you know. And you are the guy who'll decide where to go.

FSKOT! (Fell Shmell--Keep on Trucking) (The Rebba R' Bards)
Reply Topic
New Topic
GYE
Forum for Jewish Men
Introduce Yourself
Moderators: skeptical, the.guard, yechidah, Kedusha, Dov, cordnoy, MenachemGYE
Powered by Kunena
Time to create page: 0.64 seconds

Are you sure?

Yes