Hopeful2 wrote:

Great observation. I've experienced this 100%

Gut Voch all!

I just came across an article i wrote a while back, its about life in general, but i think it can be applied to our struggle. Here it is.

Mountains of Promise

Once upon a mountain gazed a Shepard toward the valley below. He watched his fellow sheepman graze the grass with wonder. The question gnaws at him. Why haven't they begun their ascend yet? It's been so long since he was with them down below. What was it 6 months, a year?? He could not recall. He remembered the days and months before. The enthusiasm and hope they had given each other how they will soon start climbing the insurmountable mountain. They mapped and planned. Studied the terrain, figuring out the best route for the finest grass in order to sustain the flock in reaching it's ultimate goal: The mountain peak.

No one can remember how it all started. Was it fable or reality. One old man claimed he knew someone who had reached the peak and was fabulously rich as a result. He spoke of wealth and opulence, while his eyes would roll with a distant glaze, leaving one to wonder why he never even attempted to try. He's long been senile they said and many shrugged it off as old folk tales.

But not this group. They were determined to get there no matter the price. They knew that one day, they would reach the ultimate. They would be the ones that would finally prove that indeed there was a paradise atop the mountain. They were well prepared for the climb ahead. They knew of all the difficulties, yet they weren't scared off.

After months of preparation they had made up each would go his own way and meet at the predetermined location at the foot of the final bend before the summit.

It was at this point that the Shepard stood with his sheep in bewilderment. Where was everyone? He saw the supposed leader of the group just a couple of feet ahead of everyone else, at the foot of the mountain, way down below, not moving. He could not believe his eyes. They must have turned back, he thought to himself. Did anyone make it, he wondered? Was he really the only one that got this far? It couldn't be. Granted the incline wasn't easy. Harder then expected. However, after all the talk and hype had everyone really given up?

Well, he definitely wasn't waiting around for them. He had come too far to stop now. But it wouldn't leave his mind. What held them back? They were so determined!

He could not continue. He needed to figure it out. He sat down and soon got lost in his thoughts. What set him apart from the rest of them, he pondered? What made him succeed while everyone else stayed behind?
They were tough and brave. What went wrong?

It then hit him. They all wanted to get to the top. Everyone does. Everyone wants. The difference it seemed to him was this. The climb up is what makes the peak so great. So awesome. Having been born at the top or hopping a ride upon an eagle, one can only enjoy the view. That's all. And how long can you sit there enjoying some beautiful view? They were too focused on just being there already. Completely missing the crux of the magnificent mountain called life. Not understanding the inherent value of the actual trek, makes the climb all but impossible. It's simply too hard, if not downright vicious.

Realizing the mountains immense riches and accumulating as you go along is what propels us further. The process, is the real paradise. The peak is just an illusion if you've missed the journey.

Taking a step back and realizing our surroundings is imperative in reaching our ultimate goal. Without it there is no goal. The goal is the journey. The ups and downs. The peak is the facade of life. There is no peak. There is no pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. It's the rainbow that's worth all the gold in the world.

Yet we seem to miss it again & again. Chasing after fantasy and pipe dreams while missing the beauty of the process. Always believing at the next bend is were we'll finally get to pick up our happiness. Get thru this last struggle and we have made it. It's all an illusion meant to distract us from thinking. It's right here. Right now. It isn't a happening. It's a choice we have to make so that we can finally get to enjoy the mountains vast and intricate twists and turns.

That is why so many of us fail. This is why we become despondent and discouraged. Because if we are only doing this to get to the peak, we're setting ourselves up for disappointment. The peak is a mirage. Always within sight but out of reach.

Stop trying to get there. Quit dreaming of the time when we will finally get to kick back our feet, take off our running shoes and just enjoy. That is the mirage of life. Not allowing us to enjoy the expedition. Look around get in touch with your surroundings, stop craning your neck upwards. Focus on the five feet around you and you've reached the goal of that plane. And move on.

The process will allow you to keep your eye on what matters. You'll experience the joy and serenity that pushed you to start climbing in the first place. Allow yourself to feel it and sprint forward!

Good luck Cragsman!

Hi Hope!!

That's was a very honest and meaningful post (as many other of your posts). Realizing what the triggers are really set back the battlefield.

Just wanted to thank with a post not just the thank you button.

KOP and KUTGW!!!

Thank you dd for your thank you & for the Chizuk!

Hope

Hi all, Long time no post!

I'm holding by 74 days clean bh, but I'm feeling horrible.

I'm plagued by thoughts of shmutz all day and can't seem to stop obsessing about them. Bh my shmiras einiyom is very good and that's very encouraging, but I'm white knuckling the urge to sit down and watch something dirty....

Life's been extremely stressful lately (seems like I'm always saying that) and I feel like I'm falling any second. I just want to give up and give in. Yesterday I was touching myself were I shouldn't , I quickly stopped by grace of Hashem, but I can't go on this way! And now again, these feeling of "I can't" I "need to watch" are here again and are overwhelming me.

Does this ever get easier?

Hope

Hopeful2,
Get off your backside and have a jog.
Here's a deal: we're online at the same time as each other.
You answer me within the next five minutes that you're going now out for a 3 minute jog right now (stroll or fast walk doesn't count) and I will go out for a jog without changing out of my pyjamas!
Why? I don't know. Crazy. Yes.
Let's check in with each other after the jog. Two yidden on different continents doing something crazy cos they've got no better idea.

Hi shlomo613!

Love it!

Going out right now for a 3 minute jog! I'll give you a few minutes to get out of your PJ's!

Hope

Haha. I gave you my word it's in pjs so it is. See ya soon

Oh I thought that was Pharaoh running down my block...

Okay whoever a pulse is slower is the winner.
Only joking. How was it? What next?

Very funny my friend. I did 191 seconds cos I'm sure there's a shmitta that 180 isn't 3 minutes

What's going on hopeful? Did you have a puncture? Whose shiur are you using?

If I may be so vain. How could you confuse me with pharoh. He was short and fat with a funny hat, bulging lips and a weird beard.

Shlomo,

My jog was a shiur Chazon ish!!

That was awesome!

That was really caring of you shlomo, getting out of bed to run for another Yid!

You inspire me!

Hope