this is my story. im 22 and have been really struggling with cyber porn for the past 2 years. through out high school it was a problem but i was some how able to keep it under control. the past 2 years have been impossible, every time i promised myself i would stop it never lasted more than a week. it took me 2 years to realize how much porn has changed my life for the worse. it made me depressed, argumentative and always looking for more pornography it was always on my mind. after 2 years of struggling i joined gye and am working on myself. ive had my ups and downs but bh im 39 days clean on my way to 90. if anyone has words of encouragement or advice please let me know i would really appreciate it.

Sounds like you're doin' great.
What you gonna do when you hit 90?
How have you managed to do 39?

Continued hatzlachah

Hey! Welcome! Thanks for sharing. Did you read the handbook? It was very informative for me. Posting helps a lot. When you know people are there with you it truly helps. Keep us updated on how your doing. The ups and the downs. Don't do it alone.

Keep climbing!

Welcome to the forum! You've accomplished a lot and you may have started to realize that although we have desires, we don't have to act upon them or let them run our life! For me porn and its ensuing activities were a solution to stress and other personal issues. As it turns out, it just made things worse for me and was a horrible solution. The fact that you realize how porn was affecting your personality is a big step. Take life one day at a time!

Hatzlacha!

i dont know what ill do when i hit 90 but i wanna reward myself in some way maybe ill buy myself something nice.
i hit 40 now and ive been able to keep it going b knowing how bad pornography is for me and trying to actually feel it bec with this struggle knowing is not good enough you have to be able to feel it. i hope i can keep up my good behavior and posting my felings is really helping bec when i post how im feeling it actually makes me feel better.

Reward yourself each day! We only ever have one day.

Hatzlacha!

How Exciting!

KUTGW

Stay tuned to GYE. The guys will all assist you on your journey and will truly appreciate your success.

growingupslowly wrote:


Let us be mispallel that we do not need to revisit this particular post.

Welcome GUS!!!

Hang in there!!!

Your doing great. Make yourself at home and keep on posting/sharing!!!

KUTGW!!!

thank you everyone for the words of encouragement

WELCOME! Sorry I don't have time to write more now. Stick around and keep posting.

I just think that being 90 days clean is a reward in itself keep up the good work and keep us posted.

plz help i just slipped after 45 days

growingupslowly wrote:


firstly, a slip is just that...a slip. Get up and KOMT!
secondly, in the posts on this thread, I have seen that you make use of the same theme over and over again.
To paraphrase. Porn is bad, very bad, I can feel it, it feels terrible, I hope that I will always feel how bad porn really really feels, and how bad it will be for me, and I hope I don't forget that feelin'.

Now, it is true that this disease (at least the addiction one...the one that i have, and perhaps you do or don't, I don't know) makes us forget the feelin's of last time, but the work ethic involved in 'feelin' that porn is bad' is not a long term solution...at least for many of us (even those who are not addicted). Most of us know that porn is bad; yet, we do it anyway. Most of us do it, not because it's bad, but rather, because it makes us feel good, damn good! And I'll let you in on a little secret.....the pleasure that we feel durin' these engagements are far more superior than the bad feelin's afterwards! Did I make that up? Hell no! Ask any of us. We keep goin' back to it. [And yes, i know there will be some that will chime in and say...."Hey, Cords, did you fall off the Casa Presei Libere, or somethin'? Porn is REALLY REALLY bad, and the pleasure obtained is only fleetin' and is the atzas ha-yetzer. True! But yet, we keep returnin'.] So, we gotta do more. Yes, mussar can help and be beneficial. Perhaps to some - if they really really would know the pegam and stains that they are doin' to their precious holy neshamah (if there would be some type of photographic evidence of the neshamah blemishes, similar to lung cancer), then maybe they would stop. And perhaps there are other methods as well. We all have our lists of priorities and what worked for us.

b'hatzlachah

Thank you Cords, what a great comment! I'd go further and say who says porn is inherently bad. I mean it's bad if you're addicted to it, it's bad because Torah says it is and it leads to sin and disturbs your avodas Hashem etc. It's maybe bad because people are being objectified and used etc and we are supporting that. But is it medically bad or inherently bad? I don't think it ever hurt me. I think I remember this issue from a post about 6 months ago. If I recall it's a pretty controversial issue on GYE. It just seems to me to be a moot point and does not help an addict in any way to think of it as bad. It's bad for me. It's ruining my marriage, my parnasa, my health, it's wasting my time, my life etc. I can't control it. It interferes with who I want to be as person and what I aspire to. Let me ask you something, is ice cream bad? How about Pasta? How about a spoonful of sugar on your coffee? Can a compulsive over eater, sugar addict who almost died of pneumonia as a complication from quadruple bypass surgery eat any of those things? Porn is death to me and I thank everyone for posts like this, because sometimes I forget. And I'll even go further to say that if you're a frum yid and believe in an Abishter and a Torah, addict or not, married or single, then its death to you to. Even if you think God will forgive you and fix you, which He will btw, you can't live with yourself, because your living a selfish, dishonest, self-centered and fearful life (yiddishkeit aside and how much more so considering yiddishkeit)! Believe me I know, because that was my life. It's empty and it's death.

PS, this comment is not directed at anyone in particular. It was just thoughts that were evoked in me and hope it's God's Will that I expressed them. I should probably pray on it before I hit Submit. And btw I'm not hoping it's God's Will, because I'm trying to be religious, I'm hoping it is because, doing God's Will is necessary for my sobriety.