This is an incredibly difficult step for me even though this is all anonymous. I keep on falling and have such clarity of thought after I fall. In those moments right after I fall, the need to finally break free is so clear. I really hope that this first post is a step in the right direction and that we can all help each other fight these terrible nisyonos.

Welcome aboard anahashem. You came to the right place, people here are eager to help you, and desperate for your help.

On one hand everything here is anonymous and you can feel free to share everything, but otoh for some strange reasons, after a while you feel like a part of this family and you no longer care about meeting these people in person.

So again, welcome home brother. Feel free here, we're all waiting to hear more from you, and will be happy to support as needed.

Happy Pesach, please forgive me in case I'm drunk and writing some stupid stuff. Well, maybe I need to add it to my signature?

Welcome to GYE! Your experience is not unlike that of many of us here. For me lust was the solution to my problems. Abstinence consisted of avoiding the inevitable for as long as I could until I got my next fix. I don't have to live like that anymore. So stick around and take action by using the tools you will find until you find what works for you!

Hatzlacha!

Thanks all. I appreciate the support. Have you guys ever felt like you have just lost all self control? That's how I felt today- very depressing feeling

Welcome! You are def not alone in this. Just read some of the stories here. They are sad, sick, and twisted. Mine included. However, each story attests to a step taken. A step taken to be better people, ovdey Hashem friends, husbands and fathers. And that's a beatiful thing.
so look around. The gye handbook in invaluable. There's a welcome package in one of the forums, check it out.

improvementway wrote:

So maskim

That's a good way to describe it- sad sick and twisted. It's absolutely ridiculous how smart and cunning this yetzer hara is. I was having no ability to focus on davening or learning today because of it. All of a sudden I start thinking to myself "just give in. Then you'll be relaxed enough to daven and learn". That is twisted

I can relate. I feel utterly helpless in a triggered state. My heart races, my mouth dries out and I shake. I know exactly how you feel about losing control. But I made a decision some years ago to never give up. And B"H I've made a lot of progress. It's important know that you can't beat this. You will always desire. It's the way we addicts are wired.(that is, if your addict)But you can learn to live with it in a normal fashion. If I let my lust loose it takes over every aspect of my life. Davening, learning you name it. It penetrates everything.

anahashem16 wrote:


Welcome,

Let us work on helping ourselves first....what's doin'?

b'hatzlachah

WELCOME! Keep posting. This is a place you can feel comfortable. We know what you are going through.