Can't believe I am doing this! Starting a 90 day journey - and already thinking this will never work so why bother. And can't believe I am actually putting up a post. This will be my first step ever out of isolation and it feels like walking off the edge of a cliff! I'm already wondering whether I will click send when I finish typing this....I think I will leave it at that in case anyone actually reads this post!

Welcome,

I and many others will/did read it, and we care.

b'hatzlachah

Hi !!

Very happy for your first step out of isolation, especially here with us !! I remember exactly this sensation you're talking about, the fact that for the first time this feeling of loneliness is going to change, and in a good way !
You'll find some good help and good friends here for sure, don't be shy to post and share your struggles, your thinking, your opinion about other threads and so on !

Hoping to hear good news about you soon, and to learn lot from you ! (And help if I can )

Welcome, brother! Yeah, it's a weird feeling, and scary, I know. You're in good company though, and you'll never find a place so anonymous, so safe, and so filled with genuine love, concern and Chesed. So, do your very best to relax and let the process work. This was a gigantic, humungous, leap of a step, so be very, very, very proud of yourself!

Welcome Dokbok2!!!

Are you still alive even after you submitted the post? If so you will be able to post again without passing out. so....

Keep on posting and let us know whats going on.

Welcome! I remember that first post of mine so clearly. Its the beginning of a real journey towards recovery. You can do it! Keep on posting and keep on monster trucking bro!

Dokbok2 wrote:

Best way to get the whole chevra here to actually be proactive and post!
Welcome. Stick around, there's lots to learn.

alive and well thanks for checking! And thanks to everyone who took the time to respond - it felt good that people did that for me!

2 observations:

1. wow - I never realized how often triggers come up until I started this journey (all of 8 hours ago)

2. now that I survived a half a day - I think I need to count 180 half days instead of 90 full because the half days feel like full days! Does this get easier???

Dokbok2 wrote:


Yes, No and Yes

but if you're countin' and countin', it might become very difficult

I can't comment on whether or not it gets easier. All I could say is that if you're constantly thinking about whether or not it will get any easier, then your focus is WAY too wide. You need to concentrate on the present and here-and-now: Day by day, hour by hour, second by second. In that sense, the 90-day count could be a bit of a burden. It works well for some people; for others, it's a bane. It depends on your constitution, and unfortunately, only time will tell what particular recovery strategy is going to work for you. I'm still finding mine; there's a very steep learning curve. And that's the point: recovery is equal parts discipline, delayed gratification and education, and that last part often gets forgotten. As addicts, we really, really, really, really want instant gratification, and the same is true for how we view our recovery processes. But there's a lot -- A LOT -- you have to learn, and learning is a non-linear, slow process. Think of this as Daf HaYomi. A page a day in the book that will be your successful recovery!

WELCOME Dokbok2! Read the GYE handbook, see where you think you need to start and jump right in. I was nervous too, and that was almost 4,000 posts ago! One of the best tools in this struggle is to get out of isolation. So MAZAL TOV on taking that first, and very important step! Keep posting, it gets easier, I promise.

Still ok. Made it through a week wow.... But hoping its real. Good shabbos

Welcome!

Keep it up- One Moment At A Time!!

Dokbok2 wrote:


It's real; every second you stay clean is real. And a day is 86,400 seconds, a week, 604,800, etc., etc. You get the idea. What's messed me up in the past is hyper-focusing on giant swaths of time, like 90 days. It revs up my optimism engines too much, and makes me more vulnerable, I find, to the inevitable downs that come after binging on good feelings. That's just me, of course, but there's something to be said about just relaxing a little with the process.

Welcome and keep posting!

We only have today! One day at a time.