Hi everyone,
I've been on GYE for about a month now. My best record was about two weeks, and after that it started to spiral down. I keep making loopholes for myself to watch inappropriate pictures or p***. It says that Hashem dwells with the lowest sinner if he is honest with what he has done, and sincerely wants to teshuvah. I must come to internally realize that without Hashem those two weeks would’ve been impossible and any second that I am clean is only because of his help. It's as if I'm a blind man searching for the door that leads out of the room, but every time my hand finds the knob, it disappears and I fall over only to continue looking for the door. The struggle is comparable to a person attempting to climb out of an abyss. He uses the footholds to push himself higher and higher. But sometimes those footholds break, and he must start from the very bottom again. As long as I reach the surface I don't care how many times I've fallen, because people only remember the end result. I’m almost 20 years old. I had hoped that before my twentieth birthday I would be free of this vicious disease, but now I’m not so sure. The stuggle has been going for six years, but I’ve only realized the damage done this year. I read the daily emails, installed filters, but perhaps my mindset is wrong here, not the precautions. I hope to one day with Hashem’s help to look back at this period in my life as a horrible nightmare, horrible when you’re in it, but when you wake up you’re relieved to find out it’s in the past. With Hashem’s help this too will pass. I look forward to being more active in this wonderful community. Sincerely, Drew

Welcome Drew!

Use GYE to find the tools you need.

The mashal is like a person trying to demolish The Great Wall of China with just a hammer.
So too, here, without the right tools-which GYE helps us with- we could not overcome this.

Stick around, you will not be disappointed.

Hatzlacha Rabbah!!)

Welcome! I too had hopes to stop before turning 18, and yet here i am at 24! But it's important to realize that it'll take a while with real work involved. Hatzlacha raba, you've come to the right plac.

Welcome,

There are many ages here, but all with basically the same issues.

We might rename you:


Whatever, stick around; there are many tools of recovery that can be learned here.

b'hatzlachah

Welcome to the forum! Keep posting, sharing and learning what works for you. We all have varied experiences about where we came from, how we got here and what works for us. Although I have been doing well since I came here, I had been working the 12 steps through AA for the year prior, so I guess you can say I head start. My point being that I learned a lot from a lot of people over that year and eventually things started to click for me. However there is nothing that I have done on my own that has helped me with this obsession. What has helped me is that Hashem has given me daily reprieve from the obsession. So for this lust addict, I can take every piece of advice from this site and utilize every tool available here, but the second I put myself into the equation, I will fail. I know this because I had made this MY fight for 32 years and I never got any better. I set ages, dates and all kinds of mile stones to have my sins conquered by. What I came to realize is that it was never in my power to do so to begin with. There is only One that can relieve my obsession and that one is Hashem.

Hatzlacha!

P.S. We do not need to have S** or to M****. That may be a newsflash for some people, but it is nonetheless true.

Welcome aboard Drew!!!

Great to have you here with us. Stick around there is tons to learn. The guys are great and more then anything there is a way out.

So Keep On Posting (KOP).
Hatzlacha rabbah!!!

My picture was the "Mashal Man."

cordnoy wrote:


I hate being an outsider. What do these words mean?

"shmorg" or "mashal man"?

Warning?
Spoiler?

Click on it

Hey! Unan's got company (or was that someone else?)!

Glad you're here, Drew. It's a good place to be.

If you haven't seen them, I'll highly recommend gibbor120's links, particularly the dov quotes. If you have seen them, even.



l'chaim b'hatzlacha

Welcome! It's great to have you with us! Yes, I remember thinking I'll stop by 20. Keep posting. Read the handbook. You are in the right place. We understand, and we're listening. All you need is a willingness to open up and be honest.

I know it's been a while since I posted, but I have good news. I'm Baruch Hashem with only Hashem's help, 13 days clean!! Hopefully with his help, I'll have many more to come. Life these days seems so much more meaningful and full of joy. I'm so grateful to Hashem that he's helping me along step by step to recovery and sobriety. It's amazing how much time you have after you take away all the schmutz. You become free to do things that better your life, instead of pulling you down. But I also know that every day I have to keep my guard up and take precautions, because unlike me, the Y"H doesn't take breaks from work. I've begun to explore some new hobbies to fill the newly made time. What hobbies do you guys have? I'm thinking of maybe gardening or learning an instrument. Let me know what you think. I don't think I'll post again for a while, so until then KOMT!!!