I was thinking that with everything that G-d does there are many reasons to each thing. Some of these reasons can be understood by us, while many cannot be. Many times there are many things we can learn from the fact that G-d set something up a certain way even if we don't understand the actual reason.

I want to start a subject where people share what they have gained from this test.

I also want people to share possible reasons which people can gain from.

People should always note that no matter what reasons we come up with, there will always be more reasons that us humans cannot understand.

Thank you HaShem for this and for everything.

P.S. chas v'shalom, I DO NOT mean that because HaShem gives this to us that we have have a right to stumble intentionally in it.

I don't think Hashem gave me my difficulties and accordingly don't think they are a test from Him. It's pretty clear to me that I created my own difficulties. I'm happy to try and share what I've gained from them though. One of the things that I gained is that I have been fortunate to find a great program in the 12-steps of AA as adopted by SA and others including GYE. I have been able to see my character defects for what they are and I'm able to follow a path to rectify them. I have gained fellowship and a deep understanding of the individual nature of people and their struggles. This has helped me to see the true beauty in people and has enabled me to understand that we all have our difficulties.

I do have a question, which you don't have to answer unless you feel like it. It's more food for thought. In your P.S. you wrote that we don't "have a right to stumble intentionally in it." But isn't that exactly what we do? We intentionally engage our behaviors. We open web pages that we know will lead us to "act out", usually with the intent to "act out" and we then proceed to "act out". So what's the difference if we have a right to do it or not? It is in fact what we are doing anyway. Having the right to do it or not having the right to do it has not had any effect on us doing or not thus far.

You may find it interesting to know that for addicts, the admission that we are in fact at a point where we have no bechirah over lust and are powerless over it, is the first step to stopping acting out. Addicts never take this as some kind of a right, privilege or defense of their behavior. The reasoning for this is irrelevant, but what is important is that it works. Imagine if we loved some treife food. Maybe we are baalteshuvah and had it before. Now we go ahead and fast for a day and then we go to the store and buy it. We get home and cook it up just the way we like it. Put it on a plate and sit down at the table and at this point we are going crazy and we eat it. Can we say after that Hashem gave us a test? That's what we do with lust, isn't it? We starve ourselves spiritually and let our anger, jealously, lust and resentments fester. Then we surround ourselves with temptation and build up frustration until we are ready to explode. Then we "fail" and call it a test?

That sounds like my experience: "...starve ourselves spiritually and let our anger, jealousy, lust and resentments fester. Then we surround ourselves with temptation and build up frustration until we are ready to explode. Then we "fail" and call it a test."

I don't know what to do about spiritual starvation because my belief is so weak, although it does seem to help for a few minutes at a time to pray carefully, thanking HaShem for what I have. I never ask for specific things for fear of disappointment and what the Yetzer Ha-Ra would call "proof that it's a waste of time".

The other things you mention...I am always tinkering with things I say to myself when I feel angry, jealous, and resentful, mostly "what am I going to do right now?" I think lust is a way I try to feel better.

Thanks for your ideas.

We don't need a strong belief to be spiritual. We don't even need a belief at all. We just need to be willing to believe. The Big Book of AA Chapter 4 tells us "as a man can say that he ... is willing to believe, we emphatically assure him that he is on his way. We need to be willing to believe that there is something greater than us that will restore us to sanity. Sounds like a big emphatic, we are on our way!

in my humble opinion i think that i learned:
1) to be cautious not to fall again
2) to detect what is a trigger
3) to know that p & m are BAD things for my body, not just for my soul
4) to know that we must turn to hashem for help, as we now know that this challenge is by far stronger then our own power
5) we learned to write chizuk, which i hardly did before, and definitely not in such a descriptive manor
6) i learned that i am not the lowest person on earth
7) i learned not to judge people by their outside looks, as they can be totally rotten inside
80 i learned that even if i see someone indulged in shmutz, he still has a burning desire with a holy neshomo

I'm amazed...Sounds like the whole program in less than 10 lines. Thank you so much!

Serenity; I love the first paragraph of your first post.
Takin' responsibility!!!
I was never into the "God this, God that," although I have now become familiar with Him gettin' me out of this mess, but let's not confuse that with who put us into the mess to begin with!
Wow!
thanks

b'hatzlachah

and I know what's comin' after this as well, so bring it on!

Is it not true that G-d gives this to us as a test so that we can grow from overcoming it?

I am short of 100 days clean so I am still a rookie of sorts but already I have grown from the whole experience both in bein adam lamakom and bein adam lechavairo.
We humble ourselves so we can properly accept the advice and chizuk of others. By humbling ourselves to others we learn to be humbling to Hashem.
We in turn give chizuk to others which builds our own self-worth.
GYE is simply a matana from Hashemit gives us the tools to get out of the pit and on the way up the mountain.
We are truly blessed!

We can only speak from our own experience strength and hope as to what work's for us. To me looking at my addiction as an opportunity for growth has been very helpful. It's more of a gift from Hashem than a test. If looking at your situation as a test is helping you, then who would any of us be to argue with that. I think it's less important to try and define or rather limit the intentions of Hakodesh Baruchu, than to define what works for me.

That is really wise. Thank you

GYEmember wrote:


Knowin' that will make you God.

there are tests in the world.
Some stuff we do.

We are meant to grow for everythin'.

b'hatzlachah

cordnoy wrote:


And grow we do. One day at a time!!!