Hello.
I researched on meetings of SA.
I still need to be sure to want to go.
I told my wife about the meetings and their answer was NO.

She says I have no reason to be sad or with low self-esteem. I have many things that many not have.

She also fears the worst if I'm going to these meetings.
I have family that married with Goyot.
She fears for us.

Anyway, I think I'm going to investigate meetings and not lose anything to try.
I need to convince her, and try it.

Thank You!

I am somewhat confused.
your wife knows about your issues, and wants it over with, but she doesn't allow meetings!? I guess she expects it to go away by itself. that is a problem. seems she thinks it's trivial inconvenience that you can't overcome.
it's difficult to have it both ways.

b'hatzlachah

Appearance hi , may i ask what is your native language ?

Meetings is something we usually keep to ourselves until our sponsor or group advises on when to share it with out wife. Since you already told her, you should probably keep her in the loop, but if you truly are an addict you can't let her decide what you need for recovery. Find someone here whose wife is in SAnon that can talk to your wife, when she is ready. There are numbers on this site for local frum contacts for SA meetings. I recently told my wife I was going to SA and she told me to stop. I explained to her that the meetings are crucial to my recovery and that her fears about my anonymity being broken were unfounded. I also explained to her that the people in SA are just regular people; Clergy, Rabbis, Doctors, Lawyers, University professors etc. I would suggest that you talk to someone like Dov to see if SA is appropriate for you. You can PM him here or find his email on this site as well. I'm more than happy to talk to you as well, although I'm less qualified.

My email is gomu2serenity@gmail.com

Hatzlacha!

I want to tell you that you will be amazed by the emunah the "Goyim" have in Hakodesh Baruchu. I have seen more simple faith in people in the rooms than in any of my Rebbeim throughout yeshiva. And that is not to minimize their faith, chas ViShalom.

cordnoy wrote:

Magically my wife let me go to the meeting.
She just wants me not to be late home.
In fact, I went yesterday for the first time.
I do not know really what to think about the meeting. I like to me. But I need to go and see how things go.

newaction wrote:


Spanish

Yeah, I know. My English sounds broken...

serenity wrote:

Thanks for your words.
Good to hear that.
You really think they have more אמונה that we, the יהודים?
Even more than the big רבנים?
What makes you think you so?
Wow!

I shouldn't have really made a comparison. Also I wasn't talking about "big רבנים". I was just talking generally about my rebbeim in Yeshiva and I really don't have anything to the gauge their emunah by. It's probably not helping my recovery to take the spiritual inventories of my Rebbeim. Since it's already been brought up though, it seems to me that we usually measured the emunah of our Rebbeim by their willingness to forgo material pursuits with the reliance that Hashem would provide for them, their outward fervor in Torah and mitzvos, or in other similar ways. I don't think I really had an opportunity to see their emunah expressed in every day or personal matters. What I have seen in the rooms of AA, by way of example, was a woman who shared that she had been complaining about her serious medical issues. In the meeting she came to realize that her complaints resulted from her lack of acceptance of God's will for her and her trust in Him. So that's all nice in theory, but She became emotional and cried over the fact that she hadn't fully accepted God's will for her. She seemed sincerely distraught over the simple fact that she created a distance between herself and Hashem. (I have seen her at many meetings and she doesn't get emotional over other issues.)

PS. The Rabbi's who honestly admit their character defects and give us strength and hope based on their personal experiences, struggles and failings are the "big" ones in my book! . That's one big upside of GYE. You have people who are obviously Talmedai Chachomim in the trenches fighting addiction. These are the Gedolim, no?

Yo tambien soy de habla hispana . Te quiero desear exito en lo que te encomiendes. Los gringos se van a quejar que no me entienden , no importa Mucha suerte y exito !!!
Los meetings pueden ayudar bastante pero lo primordial es trabajar con tu propia persona. Hacer inventario, introspeccion y establecer lazos fuertes con D.ios. D.ios te puede ayudar en todo . Para llegar a esto hay proceder con los 12 pasos . Los meetings te podran ayudar. Te quiero desear todos los exitos amigo .

Serenity I understood what you meant the first time . But thanks for the explanation. This is a complicated issue Spirituality vis Religion . For the addicts spirituality is vital , a must . For the rest of the world its a luxury. We call it חובות הלבבות. Most of the (jewish) world are concentrated in חובות האברים . I hold that everybody addicts and non addicts alike would benefit endlessly from doing the 12 steps. KUTGW !!

newaction wrote:


Hola new action.
Wow.
Todo pensé menos encontrarme aquí a alguien que hable español. Ja ja ja.
Cómo:oops: le haces para establecer lazos fuertes con el creador?
No es sí te necesito acudo a ti y si no, no?

Gracias gracias gracias.

serenity wrote:


Hello serenity.

A moderator suggested me to go the meetings.
In fact, I started two years ago with conference calls were unsuccessful for technical reasons (I do not mean GYE telephone meetings, at least not here).

I have my addiction since I was a teenager and I hurt myself enough.
15 years ago I'm not a teenager to follow
"חטאות נעורי" ופשעי אל תזכר, כחסדך זכר לי אתה, למען טובך ה'
/ My sins of adolescence (refers to MZL) and my misdeeds you do not remember , with your favors you remember me, for the good you do ה '.
I think I need to cure many resentments and much of my past and my present, still affects me to continue.

With regard to assistance for my wife, no help in my language. BH now she is supporting me.
I hope this continue for my recovery.

Thank you for supporting me.

Appearance first if you read the Big Book , Alcoholics Anonymous you will find the answer to your question . It is in short (simple but no easy ) going through all the 12 steps program ---step by step ---- . The whole idea is giving your will and self to a Power greater than you and let Him help you . Its all in the AA book.

Appearance, you have taken a courageous step that you never did before and that you thought was too hard for you to do.

AND YOU DID IT!!!

That's amazing. It looks like you have more strength of character than you realize. Keep up the good work!