newaction wrote:


there is a method to my madness....I think.

B"H Wow i thought you said a madness to the method . But now things have straighten out ... i believe.

Hashiva li were you saying something ?? it sounded intriguing...

Newaction, did I stop in the middle? I said what I said and now I'm catching(or for cordnoy catchin') my breath.

I suppose I will have to read about these programs that cordnoy is talkin' about. And then a live person! ?!?!

OH MY GOODNESS!

If I speak to a live person I will have to chose him very carefully. It will need to be someone who won't disrespect me or lose even any teeny weeny amount of respect for me (even if he gains respect for me too in other ways)If I deserve disrespect for my actions I can be moitzi everyone else with that. And someone who still even after dealing so candidly with their own such issues still knows that the information is classified.

Cordnoy, the entire list you mentioned contains words from a language which has so far been foreign to me. I found the basic definitions of all besides whitebook. I'm sure with more reading I'll eventually find it, but kindly tell me what it is.

Sexaholics Anonymous - White book

Alcoholics Anonymous - Big Book

Sorry, but I still don't get it. Is it a book that you buy somewhere or what?

Yes ! the book is called Alcoholics Anonymous . You buy it . I got it from Amazon.com
The same with Sexaholics Anonymous. Its another book also known as The White Book.

Your thread says current streak 10 days . So you already registered for the 90 days chart . Thats another tool. If you can not keep 90 days clean its a sign that you need to help yourself with all that GYE has to offer you .Quite simple but not always easy.

newaction wrote:


You're saying that if I make it through the 90 days then I don't need to talk to a live person? That should be enough to motivate me through the 90 days

Firstly, the books can be downloaded; they don't need to be purchased.
Secondly, you don't 'need' to talk to a live person; it is highly beneficial, though.
Thirdly, goin' 90 days is not necessarily an alternate method, for you might not learn what it is that's causin' this issue, but you can try it.
From experience: I have went 90 days several times - only to fall afterwards again.

b'hatzlachah

Not at all i didnt say that . These are all tools . You are the one who leads your recovery. You can fall in day # 91. There is a lot to do . Take a look at the homepage of this site . They divided the actions to take in three different colors . Start at the beginning and and advance slowly but surely .

cordnoy, would you have a link for the download?

I meant to post a link to the Big Book of AA for you, here it is:

www.aa.org/pages/en_US/alcoholics-anonymous

or

guardyoureyes.com/images/stories/ebooks/big_book.pdf

The SA White Book is available here:

66.199.228.237/boundary/Sexual_Addiction/whitebook.pdf

Most people like me found it helpful to get the actual books, but you can start with these links if that will help.

I went to an SA meeting and there was a well known Rabbi there. I told him how impressed I was that he being somewhat a public figure would go to an SA meeting. He said, what's so impressive? Should I continue to the damage I did in the first half of my life into the second half! I only wish I went earlier! Then he said look at these bachurim (there were bachurim there) how fortunate are they to have the courage to do this!

It took me 30 years to get help. I don't regret the past nor close the door on it, but I'm not going to even have reason to regret the future!

Welcome aboard.

The process towards living a healthy life requires different things for different people. Some people need therapy, others SA etc. It's a confusing process as one tries to work and understand what it is they need, what it is they are afraid of etc.

My approach has basically been to work my way up the ladder. I began by reading posts on this site. For quite some time that seemed to get the job one. But then I fell a few times. After some effort I began posting here; initially just in my own thread, but then venturing out to others to give Chizuk and share in the journey that others are taking. For me personally, I have also recently spoken to a therapist a number of times; not particularly about this area (although the therapist has an idea of where I am at) but more generally to help work through some of the pain and struggles that may have played a role in getting me to where I am in the first place.

There is no one road to sanity (or whatever one wants to call it) but there are definitely some things that are a big help to many, many people. And while I am definitely far from an expert, there are some here who really understand this stuff and are happy to share their insights.

And maybe more than that, most all of us here are pulling for you. You mention your concern about people losing respect for you. On this forum there are so many of us who have struggled with the same fear. People who have fought harder in this area than most people will ever fight anywhere in their lives, and yet failed. And people who beat themselves up for failing in this most shameful area. Respect here comes from a recognition that we are all fighting hard, and we are willing to share the ugliest parts of ourselves in an effort to heal, grow and change.

(You know when a speaker gets up and says that they are really writing for themselves. I can say that with 100% honesty here. I relate to the fear in so many ways. It took me months to move from browsing on the site to posting, and I still have not reached out and spoken to anyone through the site yet.

Be strong, be proud of yourself for the journey you are pushing yourself to take, and know that while you are unique, there are others who can relate to the pain and struggle you feel, and will provide any support that they can think of.)