Hashivalisesonyishecho wrote:


Mazel Tov ! This is what the 12 step program is all about. Work on these feelings.Lust will lose its power on you.

Hashivalisesonyishecho wrote:


Please think over this statement.

newaction wrote:


what do you mean?

I wouldn't do that, I tried thinking it through and my head started spinning :0)

Cycle - We addicts all are in this cycle . This is how we keep on falling all the time.

Spree - doesnt have to be every day three times a day to call it a spree. Even once could be . Certainly more than once.

Cut it short - Ok good for you . When did you cut it short ? today ? last week ?

Hope- Of course you cant say never again . Nobody can say that. But "hoping" has to be based on something substantial.A plan.an awareness of RID before the lusting starts.

I am sorry to write in a blunt way. All of the above deserve a long answer.

serenity wrote:


Let us ask serenity what does he means ?

Hey Hashivali seson yishecho did you know that Lag Baomer always falls on the same day of the week of the previous Purim. which in turn always falls on 4th day of Succos which is Moshe Rabenu's. Purim is like Yom Kippur. It is a day of atonement. That is tonight and tomorrow Lag Baomer. I am demanding in Honor of Rabi Shimon Bar Yochai that you bring yourself back to the forum and let us know what is going on . King David also """"fell"""" and what did he do , he wrote a mizmor tehilim after that. There is no point to hide or just plain disappear. You came here in the bad times. Nothing could be worst than before you met GYE . So now you have the eyes to see וידעו כי ערומים הם. All the time before GYE you were in a situation but were not aware of it . Now you know more what is going on ... sooo ???
Hashivali do not leave the olam when both could benefit. Hatzlacha

I also feel his absence.

I believe his "fall" as he described it was not a true fall. I wonder if his judgement of being machmir on himself and calling it a fall did not in of itself trigger a downward spiral or feelings of inadequacy.

Whatever the reason, I pray for his success and hasty return to the forum.

I wouldn't think over this statement:

"I am not in this cycle(I don't think I am). I am not on a spree. I b'h cut it short. I am not saying never again because I don't really know that that is true - after all I hoped it wouldn't happen this time but it did.".

I'd leave that to Dov . I'm on Dov's call right now, as it so happens. Hashiva, You may want to come on for the new cycle that recently started.

Me'olam lo avarti al divrei chaverai. (Especially since the honor of Rashb'i was brought in to the equation) So I'm back - I think. (These days there's very little that I know for certain.)

I feel like garbage but I'll bl"n try to pick myself up.

Thanks Chaverim.

Hasivali i wrote something nice to you and my computer just blakced out for a long time and the whole thing got erased , sorry.

Thank you for posting.

you/me/we all the time all the years considered ourselves garbage that is a classic
so now tell me something new.

But that type of thinking is considered "hirhurim raim" just like lustful thinking

Please take a look at the very last Rambam of sefer Tahara . Hilchos Mikvaos(last halacha).

1) there are not bad MIDDOS. They are DEOS. Meaning anger is not a genetic based characteristic. Anger is based on a wrong logic of thinking.
2) the rambam starts with the loshon of thoughts (machshavos) and end with sins(chataim, etc)
3) the rare jewel exposed in this rambam is that how does a person become Tahor ?
how long and what does it take.

Answer it takes one split second . Just bring what you think into "MEY HADAAS" and presto - you are Tahor.

We have being saying this all along , we (addicts or nonn addicts ) have a wrong way of thinking a wrong logic. כי לא מחשבותי מחשבותיכם

Hashem is thinking all the time מי כעמך ישראל- אהבתי אתכם אמר ה

and we think all the time בשנאת ה אותנו הוציאנו מארץ מצרים לתת אותנו ביד האמורי להשמידנו . Imagine how twisted and warped way of thinking.
All the 10 plagues, splitting of the sea, the man and the water , the ananei kavod
Hashem did for what ?? because He hates us and wants the emori to kill us.

To consider yourself garbage is an offense to Hashem who created you and gives you life every rega and it is a preamble for falling again.

Please reconsider all of this and think it over. And think what is it that Hashem wants you to think. Remember that to think "Hashem hates me" is what our forefathers did in the desert, said loshon hora about E.Yisrael , destroyed two temples and we are suffering till this very minute because of that.

Why can't we give a chance to " I AM WORTH IT" "Hashem loves me infinitely , WITHOUT ANY REGARD WHETHER IF I AM A TZADIK OR NOT"

HIS LOVE FOR ME DOES NOT DEPEND UPON MY DEEDS. P E R I O D !
any thinking that is in dis-accord with this Wholesome truth is plain ...garbage.

Tell me where am i not telling the truth .

Hatzlacha , lots of it !

I don't think Hashem hates me, 'ME' meaning the good aspects that he created. But the bad that I do is hateful. ohavei hashem sinu ra. If we wouldn't feel bad about it we wouldn't be trying to change for the better. To hate oneself in general, meaning for one to believe that he doesn't have good aspect which have the potential to do good deeds, is a destructive thought process. So there is a balance needed. Love the good in yourself and hate the bad(deeds). This is a very delicate balance and often needs correction or at least tweaking.

Hashivalisesonyishecho wrote:


what does "feelin' bad about it" mean?

It means mourning.

By the way Good 'morning'! Where've you been?

(And you answer might be Where've YOU been?)

I notice Hashiva you like to analyze, chew things over 'till there is no taste left in the meat. I get it I'm cut from the same cloth.

Perhaps there is too much thinking deeply here in just too many directions.

Maybe just maybe get hold of the 12 steps, work them in the way those who have lots of experience direct you to and to H____ with the philosophizing.