I had banking issues too.
One yom Kippur, I made a kabbala to try to use the ATM whenever possible. It has become so convenient I haven't used the inside of my bank in 7 years! (I don't have a business account).

Didn't solve my porn problem, obviously, but it's an idea.

Thanks. I do that when ever I can. But sometimes that's not sufficient.

Hashiva just to let you know. I told you in an earlier post that bli neder I was planning to up my Avodas Hashem in a certain area in turn because of you and your 5 minute learning. bli neder I am keeping to that. So you too are inspiring others in real life change.
Keep Smiling and KOT

yiraishamaim Thank you for letting me know that. It's the best thing I heard in a while. It is a great chizuk.

I find that there is a common 'Cord' and underlying theme in all of my posts from when I began this thread some 35 years ago(it feels like). I feel that in conjunction with whatever we are doing for our recovery from these issues, we need to make sure that life is fulfilling. We act out to fill the voids, so if we don't want to act out we need to fill the voids for real. That's why I don't like the martyr approach, and that's why I talk about success in Torah and also business and everything else and I talk about enjoying life and wife. When we repress, supress, and depress, we eventually stress and oppress and regress, and then we undress caress and press and also fress. So just briefly confess express and address but don't obsess.

G-bless.

Emess

More or less

actually Hashivah, on this site we are ageless
perhaps that shtems from your sweetness
tis the other sites where they accept those with bitterness
but here we have fellows like me who are clueless
this is gettin' corny, i must confess
it seems like it's bein' written under some great duress
so let us just end this craziness
for it's already seven lines in excess
it seems that this post is quite endless

and humorless

[I feel that in conjunction with whatever we are doing for our recovery from these issues, we need to make sure that life is fulfilling. We act out to fill the voids, so if we don't want to act out we need to fill the voids for real. That's why I don't like the martyr approach, and that's why I talk about success in Torah and also business and everything else and I talk about enjoying life and wife.
G-bless.[/quote]
Again- Hashiva I think you are right on the money
I don't see how anyone can expect long term success without this kind of upbeat approach.
Notice - the mussar approach of Gadlus Haodam is still thriving. The down approach of "ich bin a gurnisht" is not.(I think this is kelmer derech)(Of course this is a wonderful way for its time, and for certain kinds of people/personalities -it was originated by the greatest of men)

Our generation can't handle something that ultimately won't give us a geshmak.

Sayin' that this addiction is to fill a void is a bit of a generalization, and not entirely accurate.
we all know about HALT, and not all of those are fillin' any void.
Yes, there is a commonality that we are wantin' somethin' or lackin' somethin' or too much of somethin' or we can't deal with somethin', but I'm not sure that all cases are fillin' a void.
I find that I can be triggered (besides by stress) by a feelin' of euphoria, when thin's are goin' real swell....perhaps even power...who knows?

And this business about makin' life rosy and sweet and fulfillin'...and then everythin' will be hunky-dory...while that is nice and sweet, but generally not too practical. People's lives are filled with stuff and they need to deal with it. A snap of a finger or two will not make life a bowl of cherries (if you like 'em); it takes work and effort.

b'hatzlachah

cordnoy wrote:


I want to address both of your points with a single clarification. The void I'm referring to isn't about what we lack 'having and receiving'. It's about our personal failure and lack of personal growth. This is a much more real and more painful void. The feeling of power or euphoria doesn't indicate at all that the person isn't suffering deeply from the void I'm referring to. And although life isn't a bowl of cherries, it is by all means practical to work on filling the void to which I refer.

Everyone has life challenges that they are trying to tackle as best they can - certainly no one has the right to judge another for not being upbeat 'cause we are not in his shoes and therefore cannot completely identify with his distressful situation
however let it be clear- I am hard-pressed to find any mention here that a good attitude will automatically bring a magical "hunky-dory" life or it will make remarkable changes by "a snap of a finger"
Such an unrealistic approach was never even hinted.
However an upbeat attitude is healthy and helpful - if it can be done -Once a person has dropped into the pits emotionally by coming to the realization that he needs serious intervention and a program of recovery and then courageously embarks on this journey - and then finds some shtickel success no matter how little it may be- he should if possible continue on his way with caution yes - but with a happy meaningful wholesome upbeat disposition.

Ok.

b'hatzlachah

"I need to stop trying to be who I think im supposed to be.
And start being who I really am"

Every Jew is Hashems ben yochid.....

ted wrote:


But if you would only know who you are, you'd be so pleased that you wouldn't want to be anything else. And by the way, who you are IS who you are supposed to be.

It's time to start to discover who you are.