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A Poll - Your Biggest Concern
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Poll: What Ya' Worried About?

Eyes Wanderin' in Street 28 19.9%
Trigger-Happy-Finger on Computer 56 39.7%
Thoughts/Fantasies 26 18.4%
M 31 22%
Total number of voters:141 ( ZemirosShabbos gevura shebyesod mggsbms jewishfiltergeek dms1234 rav etzlo Atzmosyosef MBJ gibbor120 inastruggle testchart1 lizhensk pischoshelmachat Singularity mr.clean cordnoy mattlanta Shmeichel dd ddmm11219 9494 shomer bro iwillguardmyeyes doingtshuva beattheyezter bsimcha joniteshuba ineedchizuk bigmoish peloni almoni trysohard newaction neshamaincharge shlomo24 workingjew DeletedUser2996 belmont4175 Yesod MisterD91 yidtryingharder serenity yiraishamaim ehrliche.bochur needchange18 breakingthehabit Gimpel123456789 Hashivalisesonyishecho Yanklast Sasha 2 stillgoing fulfillinglife613 polar bear yudi Shas abd297 i-man waydown ZDuvid goodchange613 eslaasos Markz Mitgaber Aryeh821 shmulyz19 Acr Gettingcloser Marven wantoimprove 1DayMore mesayin alwaysimproving365 re balabos ColinColin Yesodi Workingguy BenTorah.BaalHabayis ishkabible dz703 Yaalzu shmirashachaim happy guy strugglinginpain Endeavouring gettingincontrol Chizuk29 YidFromMonsey yyy benyakov will Succeed Beh NewJew21 KedushasLevi elul teshuvahguy Meier bb0212 Dreaming Lite Baruch_Hashem hakolhevel SalerMoish GrowStrong mayanhamisgaber trouble Ihavestrength oivedelokim RaabosMachshovos lionking higherjourney higher clarity26 Shnitzel and kugel Yoni234 Shmiras_3.0 aaron1 trg261 Guard1 qwerty123456 ehrlich Bezrashashen looking_to_improve AsimpleJew fr33et flognaw48 shalom2 eccentriccomposer yeshivaguy Rebuild613 zedj theyoungertwin concernedjew21 dansto benny57 gettingthere9 tf f2fd workingonmyselfyid amevakesh iyh2023 talkonly )
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TOPIC: A Poll - Your Biggest Concern 29145 Views

Re: A Poll - Your Biggest Concern 07 Dec 2016 18:42 #299364

  • cordnoy
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will Succeed Beh wrote on 07 Dec 2016 17:44:
whats that "m" for?

Masturbation
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Re: A Poll - Your Biggest Concern 07 Dec 2016 18:52 #299367

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where's the "all of the above" option?
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Re: A Poll - Your Biggest Concern 07 Dec 2016 18:58 #299368

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YidFromMonsey wrote on 07 Dec 2016 18:52:
where's the "all of the above" option?

That's reserved for copouts.

ThisI poll is for men only.
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Re: A Poll - Your Biggest Concern 11 Dec 2016 18:44 #299623

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I do not understand what you mean?

Re: A Poll - Your Biggest Concern 11 Dec 2016 19:48 #299635

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mirror wrote on 11 Dec 2016 18:44:
I do not understand what you mean?

The poll question is: what is your "biggest" concern? Answer cannot be "all of the above."
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Re: A Poll - Your Biggest Concern 12 Dec 2016 20:36 #299729

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Trigger happy at the computer is the worst.before I knew it I was on a porn site.

Re: A Poll - Your Biggest Concern 13 Dec 2016 11:43 #299790

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Meier wrote on 12 Dec 2016 20:36:
Trigger happy at the computer is the worst.before I knew it I was on a porn site.

So you think the same as 31.1% ... 
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Re: A Poll - Your Biggest Concern 13 Dec 2016 13:10 #299792

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YidFromMonsey wrote on 07 Dec 2016 18:52:
where's the "all of the above" option?

If I would have created the poll today, I would include a "none of the above" option. Not because I have no concerns, for I might have many, but rather, because those concerns do not run, control and manage my life; I am merely concerned with livin' life.
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Re: A Poll - Your Biggest Concern 26 Feb 2017 22:46 #306882

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cordnoy wrote on 18 Dec 2014 09:44:
Which of these bothers you the most?
Do any of those make your life unmanageable?
Can you live with any of them?
Are you addicted to any?

The Poll question, however, is simply: Which of these are you the 'most' worried about?

[It's also possible that the answer can change in time, based upon many factors.]

Thanks

oish; I'm in the minority.

truth is, in true recovery, the answer becomes: none of the above.
[edit: I wrote the above line now w/o seein' the post above this one.]

May God help us all with that.
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Last Edit: 26 Feb 2017 22:48 by cordnoy.

Re: A Poll - Your Biggest Concern 27 Feb 2017 09:38 #306933

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cordnoy wrote on 26 Feb 2017 22:46:

cordnoy wrote on 18 Dec 2014 09:44:
Which of these bothers you the most?
Do any of those make your life unmanageable?
Can you live with any of them?
Are you addicted to any?

The Poll question, however, is simply: Which of these are you the 'most' worried about?

[It's also possible that the answer can change in time, based upon many factors.]

Thanks

oish; I'm in the minority.

truth is, in true recovery, the answer becomes: none of the above.
[edit: I wrote the above line now w/o seein' the post above this one.]

May God help us all with that.

Keep it a poll. Don't make it all cosmic and turn it into art

Trigger happy at work because it's most accessible.

Reminds me, I gotta update my TAPHSIC for 90 and onwards, PG...
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Re: A Poll - Your Biggest Concern 05 Mar 2017 01:10 #307413

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Watson wrote on 04 Mar 2017 21:28:

chizukconstant wrote on 02 Mar 2017 14:55:
Thanks for the support. 
I don't know why I censored out that word. Probably because typing it makes my embarrassment more real to me. Its hard for me to admit that this is a problem for me even though I know it is and it has been for a long time. I wish I could be like other people that don't seem to struggle with porn. And even those that do seem to have it under control. Yet, me I'm weak. 
Yes it is true that every time I fall I end up picking myself up at some point and try again. But is that because I want to change or just because I feel so low and despicable in my eyes that I am left with no choice?
I know I want to change. Or at least I know I need to. At some point I will get caught and my life will be destroyed. But can I really imagine never looking at a naked girl again? Do I really want to give up that thrill of looking at porn?
Yes, I understand that the pain afterwards is way worse than the joy. But in some way it still seems worth it. Perhaps that is my issue. Maybe I don't want to really succeed enough to actually win this battle.

Confused..

I've had the exact same thoughts many times. I want to be sober but I also want to enjoy porn.

I spent years trying to control and enjoy lust without losing my sobriety. I felt that the problem was masturbation to completion. That was what was clearly written about in halocho. Anything less than that was not smart because because it led to masturbation, but if I could do it and get away with it, that was great.

So I would use lust to enjoy myself but try to force myself to not masturbate to completion. Anything less than that was OK in my eyes. Not smart, but not a fall, who was I hurting? Of course I always fell in the end, and always wondered why.

I have to realise that for me it's not the porn that's the problem, or the masturbation. It's the lust. The fantasy. Objectifying women I see. Imagining them naked. Wanting them. When I start that it makes me feel so uncomfortable because the more I do it the more I need a release. So of course I'll end up back watching porn eventually. Of course I'll end up touching myself 'a little too long', then thumping the table in anger "how could it have happened again!"

I've found that stress was a trigger to act out. Then I found that the feeling of stress being resolved was a trigger. Sadness was a trigger, so was happiness. Getting money, losing money. Having a late night, having a early night, etc etc.

The problem is not in the externals. It's not in my circumstances. It's in me.

Sure, learning how to cope with stress is useful. But some stress is unavoidable and will always be a potential trigger. As will smooth sailing, anger, resentments, fear, hunger. Anything. There's no point for me running away from triggers. Every aspect of life can be a trigger.

So the real question is as you so wonderfully put it. Why should I stop watching porn if I enjoy it?

Do you though? Is it still fun?

For me, watching porn is being in a very dark place. As soon as I turn it on I feel the darkness close in. I can't see anything on the other side of the darkness. I feel panic, fear, hopelessness. I need to watch the porn to numb myself from the horrible feelings caused by watching porn. It's not fun anymore, it's horrible.

Amazingly, when I give it up, not just the porn but all the lust - the fantasies, the looking at the women around me, the thinking about what it would be like, I feel fine. It's fine. There's no desperation to find porn, I'm not even fighting myself or using self-control, I just feel fine and serene. And I don't have to count days anymore, it's become irrelevant. I'm not holding on until the next relapse. All that's important is to be lust-free today.

G-d makes that possible. When I ask Him to remove my lust He's willing and able to do so. All I need to do is be willing to let Him take it away completely, no strings attached. Asking Him to take the porn while I hold onto the lust doesn't work. Half measures avail nothing. But when I allow Him to take all the lust, life becomes so much more wonderful and peaceful.
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Re: A Poll - Your Biggest Concern 25 Nov 2018 17:31 #337473

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It's interesting that after all of this time, I need to change my vote from trigger-happy-finger on computer to thoughts-fantasies. I wonder what that says...

it didn't seem to change the outcome of the election though...
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Re: A Poll - Your Biggest Concern 01 May 2019 20:08 #340833

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Begin quote from StillGoin' -
It's interesting that after all of this time, I need to change my vote from trigger-happy-finger on computer to thoughts-fantasies. I wonder what that says...



it didn't seem to change the outcome of the election though...

 - end quote.

I agree with your reversal, but we are still in the minority.
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Last Edit: 01 May 2019 20:10 by cordnoy. Reason: quote button wacky x2

Re: A Poll - Your Biggest Concern 26 Oct 2020 23:52 #356731

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History.......

Bob Sweeney: There was a moment, when I used to blame everything and everyone for all the pain and suffering and vile things that happened to me, that I saw happen to my people. Used to blame everybody. Blamed white people, blamed society, blamed God. I didn't get no answers 'cause I was asking the wrong questions. You have to ask the right questions.
Derek Vinyard: Like what?
Bob Sweeney: Has anything you've done made your life better?
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Last Edit: 26 Oct 2020 23:54 by cordnoy.

Re: A Poll - Your Biggest Concern 15 Jul 2021 15:02 #370906

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cordnoy wrote on 18 Dec 2014 09:44:
Which of these bothers you the most?
Do any of those make your life unmanageable?
Can you live with any of them?
Are you addicted to any?

The Poll question, however, is simply: Which of these are you the 'most' worried about?

[It's also possible that the answer can change in time, based upon many factors.]

Thanks

U can still take the poll!
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