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A Poll - Your Biggest Concern
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TOPIC: A Poll - Your Biggest Concern 15947 Views

Re: A Poll - Your Biggest Concern 07 Dec 2016 18:42 #299364

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will Succeed Beh wrote on 07 Dec 2016 17:44:
whats that "m" for?

Masturbation
My email: thenewme613@hotmail.com
My threads:
GYE Handbook | Gibbor's Insights | GYE FAQ - Thanks Skep and DMS123456789 White Book | Big Book (Alcoholics Anonymous)

If one gives up at the first sign of a struggle, he is really not ready to be successful."
"Tryin' and doin' are two different thin's - tryin' is hopin'; doin' is succeedin'.
"The right thin' to do and the hard thin' to do are usually the same."


Disclaimer: I am not a cheerleader; B"H, there are many on the site. I am here to change myself, and with God's help, by some mistake, I might even help change others.

MY POSTS ARE NOT WRITTEN AS A MODERATOR UNLESS EXPLICITLY STATED.

Re: A Poll - Your Biggest Concern 07 Dec 2016 18:52 #299367

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where's the "all of the above" option?
You're better than yesterday but not as good as you're gonna be tomorrow. - Harvey

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Re: A Poll - Your Biggest Concern 07 Dec 2016 18:58 #299368

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YidFromMonsey wrote on 07 Dec 2016 18:52:
where's the "all of the above" option?

That's reserved for copouts.

ThisI poll is for men only.
My email: thenewme613@hotmail.com
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GYE Handbook | Gibbor's Insights | GYE FAQ - Thanks Skep and DMS123456789 White Book | Big Book (Alcoholics Anonymous)

If one gives up at the first sign of a struggle, he is really not ready to be successful."
"Tryin' and doin' are two different thin's - tryin' is hopin'; doin' is succeedin'.
"The right thin' to do and the hard thin' to do are usually the same."


Disclaimer: I am not a cheerleader; B"H, there are many on the site. I am here to change myself, and with God's help, by some mistake, I might even help change others.

MY POSTS ARE NOT WRITTEN AS A MODERATOR UNLESS EXPLICITLY STATED.

Re: A Poll - Your Biggest Concern 11 Dec 2016 18:44 #299623

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I do not understand what you mean?

Re: A Poll - Your Biggest Concern 11 Dec 2016 19:48 #299635

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mirror wrote on 11 Dec 2016 18:44:
I do not understand what you mean?

The poll question is: what is your "biggest" concern? Answer cannot be "all of the above."
My email: thenewme613@hotmail.com
My threads:
GYE Handbook | Gibbor's Insights | GYE FAQ - Thanks Skep and DMS123456789 White Book | Big Book (Alcoholics Anonymous)

If one gives up at the first sign of a struggle, he is really not ready to be successful."
"Tryin' and doin' are two different thin's - tryin' is hopin'; doin' is succeedin'.
"The right thin' to do and the hard thin' to do are usually the same."


Disclaimer: I am not a cheerleader; B"H, there are many on the site. I am here to change myself, and with God's help, by some mistake, I might even help change others.

MY POSTS ARE NOT WRITTEN AS A MODERATOR UNLESS EXPLICITLY STATED.

Re: A Poll - Your Biggest Concern 12 Dec 2016 20:36 #299729

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Trigger happy at the computer is the worst.before I knew it I was on a porn site.

Re: A Poll - Your Biggest Concern 13 Dec 2016 11:43 #299790

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Meier wrote on 12 Dec 2016 20:36:
Trigger happy at the computer is the worst.before I knew it I was on a porn site.

So you think the same as 31.1% ... 
BE"H WE WILL ALL SUCCEED
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Re: A Poll - Your Biggest Concern 13 Dec 2016 13:10 #299792

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YidFromMonsey wrote on 07 Dec 2016 18:52:
where's the "all of the above" option?

If I would have created the poll today, I would include a "none of the above" option. Not because I have no concerns, for I might have many, but rather, because those concerns do not run, control and manage my life; I am merely concerned with livin' life.
My email: thenewme613@hotmail.com
My threads:
GYE Handbook | Gibbor's Insights | GYE FAQ - Thanks Skep and DMS123456789 White Book | Big Book (Alcoholics Anonymous)

If one gives up at the first sign of a struggle, he is really not ready to be successful."
"Tryin' and doin' are two different thin's - tryin' is hopin'; doin' is succeedin'.
"The right thin' to do and the hard thin' to do are usually the same."


Disclaimer: I am not a cheerleader; B"H, there are many on the site. I am here to change myself, and with God's help, by some mistake, I might even help change others.

MY POSTS ARE NOT WRITTEN AS A MODERATOR UNLESS EXPLICITLY STATED.
Last Edit: 13 Dec 2016 13:25 by cordnoy.

Re: A Poll - Your Biggest Concern 26 Feb 2017 22:46 #306882

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cordnoy wrote on 18 Dec 2014 09:44:
Which of these bothers you the most?
Do any of those make your life unmanageable?
Can you live with any of them?
Are you addicted to any?

The Poll question, however, is simply: Which of these are you the 'most' worried about?

[It's also possible that the answer can change in time, based upon many factors.]

Thanks

oish; I'm in the minority.

truth is, in true recovery, the answer becomes: none of the above.
[edit: I wrote the above line now w/o seein' the post above this one.]

May God help us all with that.
My email: thenewme613@hotmail.com
My threads:
GYE Handbook | Gibbor's Insights | GYE FAQ - Thanks Skep and DMS123456789 White Book | Big Book (Alcoholics Anonymous)

If one gives up at the first sign of a struggle, he is really not ready to be successful."
"Tryin' and doin' are two different thin's - tryin' is hopin'; doin' is succeedin'.
"The right thin' to do and the hard thin' to do are usually the same."


Disclaimer: I am not a cheerleader; B"H, there are many on the site. I am here to change myself, and with God's help, by some mistake, I might even help change others.

MY POSTS ARE NOT WRITTEN AS A MODERATOR UNLESS EXPLICITLY STATED.
Last Edit: 26 Feb 2017 22:48 by cordnoy.

Re: A Poll - Your Biggest Concern 27 Feb 2017 09:38 #306933

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cordnoy wrote on 26 Feb 2017 22:46:

cordnoy wrote on 18 Dec 2014 09:44:
Which of these bothers you the most?
Do any of those make your life unmanageable?
Can you live with any of them?
Are you addicted to any?

The Poll question, however, is simply: Which of these are you the 'most' worried about?

[It's also possible that the answer can change in time, based upon many factors.]

Thanks

oish; I'm in the minority.

truth is, in true recovery, the answer becomes: none of the above.
[edit: I wrote the above line now w/o seein' the post above this one.]

May God help us all with that.

Keep it a poll. Don't make it all cosmic and turn it into art

Trigger happy at work because it's most accessible.

Reminds me, I gotta update my TAPHSIC for 90 and onwards, PG...
"Vegeta, what does the scouter say about his sobriety level?"
"... It's over NINE-ZEROOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!"

One day... At A Time :-D


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Re: A Poll - Your Biggest Concern 05 Mar 2017 01:10 #307413

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Watson wrote on 04 Mar 2017 21:28:

chizukconstant wrote on 02 Mar 2017 14:55:
Thanks for the support. 
I don't know why I censored out that word. Probably because typing it makes my embarrassment more real to me. Its hard for me to admit that this is a problem for me even though I know it is and it has been for a long time. I wish I could be like other people that don't seem to struggle with porn. And even those that do seem to have it under control. Yet, me I'm weak. 
Yes it is true that every time I fall I end up picking myself up at some point and try again. But is that because I want to change or just because I feel so low and despicable in my eyes that I am left with no choice?
I know I want to change. Or at least I know I need to. At some point I will get caught and my life will be destroyed. But can I really imagine never looking at a naked girl again? Do I really want to give up that thrill of looking at porn?
Yes, I understand that the pain afterwards is way worse than the joy. But in some way it still seems worth it. Perhaps that is my issue. Maybe I don't want to really succeed enough to actually win this battle.

Confused..

I've had the exact same thoughts many times. I want to be sober but I also want to enjoy porn.

I spent years trying to control and enjoy lust without losing my sobriety. I felt that the problem was masturbation to completion. That was what was clearly written about in halocho. Anything less than that was not smart because because it led to masturbation, but if I could do it and get away with it, that was great.

So I would use lust to enjoy myself but try to force myself to not masturbate to completion. Anything less than that was OK in my eyes. Not smart, but not a fall, who was I hurting? Of course I always fell in the end, and always wondered why.

I have to realise that for me it's not the porn that's the problem, or the masturbation. It's the lust. The fantasy. Objectifying women I see. Imagining them naked. Wanting them. When I start that it makes me feel so uncomfortable because the more I do it the more I need a release. So of course I'll end up back watching porn eventually. Of course I'll end up touching myself 'a little too long', then thumping the table in anger "how could it have happened again!"

I've found that stress was a trigger to act out. Then I found that the feeling of stress being resolved was a trigger. Sadness was a trigger, so was happiness. Getting money, losing money. Having a late night, having a early night, etc etc.

The problem is not in the externals. It's not in my circumstances. It's in me.

Sure, learning how to cope with stress is useful. But some stress is unavoidable and will always be a potential trigger. As will smooth sailing, anger, resentments, fear, hunger. Anything. There's no point for me running away from triggers. Every aspect of life can be a trigger.

So the real question is as you so wonderfully put it. Why should I stop watching porn if I enjoy it?

Do you though? Is it still fun?

For me, watching porn is being in a very dark place. As soon as I turn it on I feel the darkness close in. I can't see anything on the other side of the darkness. I feel panic, fear, hopelessness. I need to watch the porn to numb myself from the horrible feelings caused by watching porn. It's not fun anymore, it's horrible.

Amazingly, when I give it up, not just the porn but all the lust - the fantasies, the looking at the women around me, the thinking about what it would be like, I feel fine. It's fine. There's no desperation to find porn, I'm not even fighting myself or using self-control, I just feel fine and serene. And I don't have to count days anymore, it's become irrelevant. I'm not holding on until the next relapse. All that's important is to be lust-free today.

G-d makes that possible. When I ask Him to remove my lust He's willing and able to do so. All I need to do is be willing to let Him take it away completely, no strings attached. Asking Him to take the porn while I hold onto the lust doesn't work. Half measures avail nothing. But when I allow Him to take all the lust, life becomes so much more wonderful and peaceful.
My email: thenewme613@hotmail.com
My threads:
GYE Handbook | Gibbor's Insights | GYE FAQ - Thanks Skep and DMS123456789 White Book | Big Book (Alcoholics Anonymous)

If one gives up at the first sign of a struggle, he is really not ready to be successful."
"Tryin' and doin' are two different thin's - tryin' is hopin'; doin' is succeedin'.
"The right thin' to do and the hard thin' to do are usually the same."


Disclaimer: I am not a cheerleader; B"H, there are many on the site. I am here to change myself, and with God's help, by some mistake, I might even help change others.

MY POSTS ARE NOT WRITTEN AS A MODERATOR UNLESS EXPLICITLY STATED.

Re: A Poll - Your Biggest Concern 25 Nov 2018 17:31 #337473

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It's interesting that after all of this time, I need to change my vote from trigger-happy-finger on computer to thoughts-fantasies. I wonder what that says...

it didn't seem to change the outcome of the election though...
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Re: A Poll - Your Biggest Concern 01 May 2019 20:08 #340833

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Begin quote from StillGoin' -
It's interesting that after all of this time, I need to change my vote from trigger-happy-finger on computer to thoughts-fantasies. I wonder what that says...



it didn't seem to change the outcome of the election though...

 - end quote.

I agree with your reversal, but we are still in the minority.
My email: thenewme613@hotmail.com
My threads:
GYE Handbook | Gibbor's Insights | GYE FAQ - Thanks Skep and DMS123456789 White Book | Big Book (Alcoholics Anonymous)

If one gives up at the first sign of a struggle, he is really not ready to be successful."
"Tryin' and doin' are two different thin's - tryin' is hopin'; doin' is succeedin'.
"The right thin' to do and the hard thin' to do are usually the same."


Disclaimer: I am not a cheerleader; B"H, there are many on the site. I am here to change myself, and with God's help, by some mistake, I might even help change others.

MY POSTS ARE NOT WRITTEN AS A MODERATOR UNLESS EXPLICITLY STATED.
Last Edit: 01 May 2019 20:10 by cordnoy. Reason: quote button wacky x2
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