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TOPIC: hi 1087 Views

Re: hi 04 Dec 2014 21:23 #244615

serenity
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"ONE DAY AT A TIME"
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When we find a chaver that we can call and be completely honest with it helps a lot. We can call the chaver while we are having the thoughts and discuss them. hats my fancy way of saying get a phone list and make a lot of calls

Much Hatzlacha!

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--"ולא המדרש עיקר, אלא המעשה"
--"To promise not to do a thing is the surest way in the world to make a body want to go and do that very thing." Mark Twain
--"If, when you honestly want to, you find you cannot quit entirely, or if when drinking (or lusting), you have little control over the amount you take, you are probably alcoholic (or sexaholic)." AA Big Book P. 45. Parenthesis added.
--You hit rock bottom when you decide to stop digging.

Re: hi 07 Dec 2014 22:02 #244763

AlexEliezer
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Posts: 1933
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ted wrote:

AE you have a good point. The problem always starts with the first drink or in my case the first lust. Because once we start lusting we trigger the allergy and then we always fall (I have been listening to the big book with charlie and Joe it's really great. You can find the link on gye) Im finding that the shmiras ainayim is hard but controlling my thoughts and fantasies is much harder. Not to lust in my mind which is obviously a trigger is extremely difficult, my mind is always racing and always wandering.
any tips? Tia.

You are off to a good start by admitting that once you start lusting, you are powerless to stop.

The place to start is where lust starts -- your eyes and your mind's eye.

Guard your eyes against looking at all women unless absolutely necessary. Real women, women in pictures, even just her face.

Work on not letting mental images and fantasies take a seat in your mind. What works for me here is to verbally surrender the images to Hashem, asking him to take them. I've turned it into a little bakasha:

Ribono Shel Olam, I am powerless over lust and my life has become unmanageable.
Only You can restore me to sanity.
I turn my life and my lust over to Your care and ask You to please heal me from this illness of lust. I don’t want to lust. I only want You and a relationship with You and Your Torah. I surrender my lust to You. Please take my lust.

I say it every time a fantasy tries to take hold of my mind. Dozens of times a day if necessary. AS SOON as it starts, not after I've played with it.

The beginning is very difficult. Murder, actually. But it can be done. And it gets easier as it becomes automatic to look away when presented with tempting (or boring) women or pictures, and it becomes habit to deflect mental images and fantasies with prayer.

Hope that helps you get started.

Re: hi 08 Dec 2014 02:36 #244772

pischoshelmachat OFFLINE Platinum Boarder Posts: 492 Karma: 42	Welcome Ted, How your struggles are so much like mine and others here. At GYE, we are embraced by tzaddikkim who just want to get better together with us.

Re: hi 08 Dec 2014 06:25 #244804

ted Current streak: 221 days OFFLINE Senior Boarder Posts: 42 Karma: 6	Thank you everyone for your help and support. Bh I ha e been clean 19 days and have learnt alot about addiction, I am working on my perspectives and iyh will continue this journey forward one day at a time.

Re: hi 08 Dec 2014 14:59 #244817

cordnoy
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ted wrote:

Thank you everyone for your help and support. Bh I ha e been clean 19 days and have learnt alot about addiction, I am working on my perspectives and iyh will continue this journey forward one day at a time.

KOT!
That sounds great!
We'd like to hear what it is you have learned....especially perspectives.

Great attitude!

b'hatzlachah

My email: thenewme613@hotmail.com
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Re: hi 09 Dec 2014 07:27 #244890

ted Current streak: 221 days OFFLINE Senior Boarder Posts: 42 Karma: 6	One thing I've learnt is that sobriety is FULL TIME job.

Re: hi 09 Dec 2014 19:13 #244906

cordnoy
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And one we cannot become complacent in.