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TOPIC: hi 1088 Views

hi 02 Dec 2014 19:54 #244417

ted
Current streak: 221 days
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Posts: 42
Karma: 6

I'm just joining gye forums now although I should have a long time ago. I'm an addict (I have finally admitted that reality) for many years, and have tried stopping soooo many times. I'm clean now 2 weeks and with the help of Hashem and gye and all my new found friends on this forum I'm going to keep going and hopefully be who I truly could be. and be an honest unselfish husband and father. I always appreciate getting Chizuk from other people on this forum and hopefully together we can overcome this great challenge. I really feel a deep connection to everyone that is going through this same Rollercoaster that I am going through even though I may not know you I feel a deep connection. So perhaps I will not only take Chizuk from these forums but maybe I can give something also (although let's face it an addict is selfish! He's constantly focused on himself).
Lchaim, brothers.

Re: hi 02 Dec 2014 21:13 #244427

shlomo24 Current streak: 1 day OFFLINE Platinum Boarder Posts: 2213 Karma: 135	great first step ted. keep on posting, we want to hear from you. you are absolutely correct, addicts are incredibly selfish, we have consistently messed ourselves up due to our selfishness. yet we are too selfish to seek help, great job starting to break away from yourself and accepting some hard truths.
	If you're an LGBTQ or LGBTQ-questioning person and looking for someone who can understand you, feel free to reach out. I promise no judgement and to try and listen the best I can. Email: iam24zman@gmail.com

Re: hi 02 Dec 2014 21:34 #244429

dms1234 Current streak: 767 days OFFLINE Platinum Boarder Posts: 1106 Karma: 49	WELCOME!!!!!!! Seems like you are on the right track! Keep on going!
	I am happy to speak on the phone. Please email me at dms1234ongye@gmail.com My name is Daniel, I go to face to face meetings and I work the 12 steps with a sponsor. Last Edit: 02 Dec 2014 21:35 by dms1234.

Re: hi 02 Dec 2014 23:10 #244448

reallygettingthere Current streak: 72 days OFFLINE Platinum Boarder Posts: 759 Karma: 27	Hi Ted, Welcome to the club. What made you join at this point? Was there some cataclysmic experience shook you up?
	Roy in the SA White Book noted that we frequently prayed and it did not work...because the best we could muster was begging G-d to "Please take it away, so I will not have to give it up! No amount of sobriety can cure the insanity -ChaimCharlie The emmes hurts but fake chizzuk will hurt more -Bards Remember, best block, no be there - Mr. Miyagi

Re: hi 02 Dec 2014 23:45 #244453

ted
Current streak: 221 days
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Posts: 42
Karma: 6

Someone not knowingly made me realize that as a porn addict it's not just a practical problem but there is emotional issues that need to be dealt with and an addict doesn't make a good husband or a good father. Which sounds obvious but then I started realizing how it's true and I'm jot actually a good husband like I thought I was and I am not being fair on an emotional level to my wife. We can go on about for a long time. but the point is if were honest we realize that were hurting our spouses

Re: hi 03 Dec 2014 05:08 #244496

ineedchizuk Current streak: 1 day OFFLINE Gold Boarder Posts: 300 Karma: 21	Shalom aleichem, Ted! By sharing on this great forum, when we take, we're also giving. Wishing you hatzlacha on your journey, Your selfish friend

Re: hi 03 Dec 2014 05:42 #244499

AlexEliezer OFFLINE Platinum Boarder Posts: 1933 Karma: 55	Welcome Ted, glad to have you on board! Being sober and in recovery from this addiction will allow you to be the giving husband and father you want to be. What have you been doing differently these past 2 weeks to keep clean?

Re: hi 03 Dec 2014 06:26 #244501

cordnoy
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Posts: 12070
Karma: 652

Welcome,

and like AE said: What you gonna do different this time around?
Especially with that new realization.

We lookin' forward to you stickin' around as we plow thru this mess together.

b'hatzlachah

My email: thenewme613@hotmail.com
My threads: Mikvah Night - Page 1, Page 2, Page 3, Last Page

https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/1-Break-Free/210029-Tryin

Warning: Spoiler!

My job: Punchin' bag of GYE - "NeshamaInCharge"
Quote from the chevra: "Is Cordnoy truly a Treasure Island pirate from the Southern Seas?"

MY POSTS ARE NOT WRITTEN AS A MODERATOR UNLESS EXPLICITLY STATED.

Re: hi 03 Dec 2014 07:23 #244520

ted Current streak: 221 days OFFLINE Senior Boarder Posts: 42 Karma: 6	I need some help. When I'm clean sometimes i get frustrated I get annoyed I'm all tense I'm nervous impatient and I feel like if I just do the act and let go then I can relax. ?.

Re: hi 03 Dec 2014 07:57 #244525

serenity
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"ONE DAY AT A TIME"
Posts: 1796
Karma: 173

Welcome Ted, glad your here and thank you for your introductory share. Your share helps me.

Hatzlacha!

Much Hatzlacha!

My Threads:
Glad to be here
Don't slip it hurts
Lions & Tigers & Internet, Oh My!

--"ולא המדרש עיקר, אלא המעשה"
--"To promise not to do a thing is the surest way in the world to make a body want to go and do that very thing." Mark Twain
--"If, when you honestly want to, you find you cannot quit entirely, or if when drinking (or lusting), you have little control over the amount you take, you are probably alcoholic (or sexaholic)." AA Big Book P. 45. Parenthesis added.
--You hit rock bottom when you decide to stop digging.

Re: hi 03 Dec 2014 15:45 #244535

cordnoy
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Posts: 12070
Karma: 652

ted wrote:

I need some help.
When I'm clean sometimes i get frustrated I get annoyed I'm all tense I'm nervous impatient and I feel like if I just do the act and let go then I can relax. ?.

What is triggerin' it?
Are you nervous or tense in nature?
What other things are goin' on in your life?
It sounds like this is the classical case of usin' actin' out for a release of some sort.

Let us know

b'hatzlachah

My email: thenewme613@hotmail.com
My threads: Mikvah Night - Page 1, Page 2, Page 3, Last Page

https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/1-Break-Free/210029-Tryin

Warning: Spoiler!

Re: hi 03 Dec 2014 17:03 #244541

dd OFFLINE Platinum Boarder כל זמן שהנשמה בקרבי מודה אני לפניך Posts: 879 Karma: 42	Welcome Ted!!! Its great to have you here with us. Looking forward to seeing you around and hearing about your progress. Keep On Posting KOP and Keep Up The Good Work KUTGW!!!!

Re: hi 03 Dec 2014 19:14 #244545

AlexEliezer OFFLINE Platinum Boarder Posts: 1933 Karma: 55	When you say "clean" do you mean that you're not looking at women and not fantasizing and viewing mental images -- or do you mean you are lusting and just not doing the final release?

Re: hi 04 Dec 2014 01:01 #244567

gibbor120 OFFLINE Platinum Boarder NEVER EVER GIVE UP! Posts: 5251 Karma: 166	WELCOME Ted! It's nice to have you with us. Take a look at the "dov quotes" thread (I have a link in my signature). One of his first posts is called Nuclear Reset Button. He's got a lot of other good ones too. Keep posting!
	My Home \| My Links \| Dov Quotes \| Dr. Sorotzkin \| Handbook \| Additional Tools \| AA Audio \| Shalom Bayis \| Skep's Tips

Re: hi 04 Dec 2014 19:41 #244601

ted
Current streak: 221 days
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Senior Boarder
Posts: 42
Karma: 6

AE you have a good point. The problem always starts with the first drink or in my case the first lust. Because once we start lusting we trigger the allergy and then we always fall (I have been listening to the big book with charlie and Joe it's really great. You can find the link on gye) Im finding that the shmiras ainayim is hard but controlling my thoughts and fantasies is much harder. Not to lust in my mind which is obviously a trigger is extremely difficult, my mind is always racing and always wandering.
any tips? Tia.