serenity wrote on 18 Sep 2016 14:53:

So, it's a healthy sign to be putting more energy into real life. But still, how to be involved here.  I have some reservations about being so active here on this forum. One reason is because, even without p*rnography, part of my problem is that I also spend too much time on the computer.

Another problem is that I was here in a past life and people would come and cry out for help or ask sincere questions and they were in serious trouble and I'd put a lot of thought into it and spend a lot of time to answer them and, more often than not, they would simply disappear. So, I felt I was just getting burned over and over again, wasting lots of my time on people who were crying for help but didn't really want to take it.

--NL354

Newleaf354 wrote on 20 Sep 2016 12:32:

Is a person in Kiruv who has invested so much in trying to bring people closer to Hashem, considered to have wasted his time if at the end those people do not embrace Yidishkeit? If we ourselves fail at something Ruchni after putting forth a strong effort, has the struggle been a total loss?
You put forth the effort to assist others, and the rest is out of your hands. You did what Hashem wanted of you. Hold your head high - you were not burned.
Besides what happened to these guys? you don't even know. Maybe it was actually your words of support that made a major change in their lives.
A while ago I was commenting regularly on a guys thread and for some reason he never commented or thanked me. I noticed he did for others but not me. I was not insulted at all, I figured my style simply did not resonate with him. Besides - we must understand that people on this sight are hurting, sometimes deeply hurting  and it behooves us to be lomed lekaf zechus. I decided not to comment on his thread as he was clearly not interested.
A week later I get a PM from him asking my opinion on something. I was stunned.
Buddy, ya just never know.

I can relate to what you're saying. People got sober before I was here and they'll get sober when I'm not here. So I'll help when I can so long as it's not hurting me and I'll let go of the rest. I definitely need to set limits. 

I just read this topic from start to finish. I learned a lot from you Serenity! Your brilliant and brutal honesty (and wit) are really eye-opening. So set your limits, but we'll definitely appreciate whatever you share.

Wishing everyone a good and sweet year; a year in which we can see ourselves with stark honesty, the same honesty with which we often see the faults of others but are blinded when it comes to our short comings; a year of guidance from Hashem; a year of humility and surrender; a year of sobriety and freedom from the compulsion to act out; a year of freedom from our character defects; and, a year within which our own enlightened self interest tells us we must stop acting out. 

I hope that if I've hurt you in any way you can find the compassion to forgive me. 

כְּתִיבָה וַחֲתִימָה טוֹבָה

Amen!

I just wrote a whole long comment and deleted it. Just want to check in and say hello and give thanks to Hashem, SA, GYE and you for helping me stay sober for 21 months today. 

Wow! That's amazing!

MAZELTOOOOOVVV! That's a true Blackjack.

Y,

Keep it up.

B'hatzlachah

I guess that you felt that it was not appropriate to write the deleted comment again, but you did feel that the comment was significant enough to mention the fact that you had written it to begin with. I am wondering what sort of thing would have fallen within that parameter.

Sometimes I write a comment and then I think about whether it will be helpful to me or others and I may look at my motives.The comment was describing some of the many lengths I have gone to for sobriety and I wasn't sure if it was useful to others to write it all out because it may have come across as overwhelming to some and probably not necessary for most anyway. Also I have written it out previously so someone can find it they are meant to. 

that's real gevura. to not post a comment after you wrote it already. i don't think i'm capable of that- look i'll try.....  if you see this it means i failed

I wanted to share in my gratitude and acknowledge my two year anniversary in sobriety today. GYE was a big a help to me and continues to be. Although I don't spend in the time in this forum I do call in regularly to the group calls. In addition to GYE I'm working a program of recovery in SA where i have a sponsor and work the steps. I also am in therapy. That is what I do. My part. Without a Higher Power which I choose to call God, I would not be sober. I also believe that there are neshamos pulling for me. I may at times have fierce resentments against religion and serious doubts but I think that's normal. We are after all thinking, intelligent and creative human beings.

Thanks for letting me share.   

Mazeltov again!

Hatzlocha for the next day