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Re: Glad to be here 18 Oct 2015 03:57 #266208

  • eslaasos
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Maybe you two can explain this to me.

You have both given me the feeling many times that there is an inherent danger in introspection that is ostensibly intended to further recovery, because it is to some extent the same self-obsession that got us in trouble in the first place.

One of the most frequent terms I hear from Dov is self-serving.

How did Dov know that Serenity's last post was self-serving, and not an honest cheshbon hanefesh? And how did Serenity know he was right?

Do you have to be sober and working the steps for a year to be able to recognize the difference?
Quotes that speak to me
What do we replace it with....Life (Cordnoy)
My Thread    My Other Thread

Re: Glad to be here 18 Oct 2015 04:24 #266211

  • serenity
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I'm not sure about what you are saying about introspection and I hope Dov will reply.

I will say that I was messaging Dov as well and he had additional facts about the context of what I was talking about. I realized there was no way to understand how he answered the way he did based on my comment alone. I should have mentioned this earlier
Much Hatzlacha!

My Threads:
Glad to be here
Don't slip it hurts
Lions & Tigers & Internet, Oh My!

--"ולא המדרש עיקר, אלא המעשה"
--"To promise not to do a thing is the surest way in the world to make a body want to go and do that very thing." Mark Twain
--"If, when you honestly want to, you find you cannot quit entirely, or if when drinking (or lusting), you have little control over the amount you take, you are probably alcoholic (or sexaholic)." AA Big Book P. 45. Parenthesis added.
--You hit rock bottom when you decide to stop digging.

Re: Glad to be here 18 Oct 2015 12:25 #266226

  • cordnoy
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eslaasos wrote:
Maybe you two can explain this to me.

You have both given me the feeling many times that there is an inherent danger in introspection that is ostensibly intended to further recovery, because it is to some extent the same self-obsession that got us in trouble in the first place.

One of the most frequent terms I hear from Dov is self-serving.

How did Dov know that Serenity's last post was self-serving, and not an honest cheshbon hanefesh? And how did Serenity know he was right?

Do you have to be sober and working the steps for a year to be able to recognize the difference?


I am neither, but I recognize it at times. I post on the threads as well like that. I don't know if I'm right at all and others disagree. That's fine as well.
My email: thenewme613@hotmail.com
My threads: Mikvah Night - Page 1, Page 2, Page 3, Last Page

https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/1-Break-Free/210029-Tryin
:pinch: Warning: Spoiler!
My job: Punchin' bag of GYE - "NeshamaInCharge"
Quote from the chevra: "Is Cordnoy truly a Treasure Island pirate from the Southern Seas?"

MY POSTS ARE NOT WRITTEN AS A MODERATOR UNLESS EXPLICITLY STATED.

Re: Glad to be here 18 Oct 2015 14:14 #266231

  • eslaasos
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cordnoy wrote:
eslaasos wrote:
Maybe you two can explain this to me.

You have both given me the feeling many times that there is an inherent danger in introspection that is ostensibly intended to further recovery, because it is to some extent the same self-obsession that got us in trouble in the first place.

One of the most frequent terms I hear from Dov is self-serving.

How did Dov know that Serenity's last post was self-serving, and not an honest cheshbon hanefesh? And how did Serenity know he was right?

Do you have to be sober and working the steps for a year to be able to recognize the difference?


I am neither, but I recognize it at times. I post on the threads as well like that. I don't know if I'm right at all and others disagree. That's fine as well.


Sometimes I feel like you have only one absolute truth - I live only for today.
Quotes that speak to me
What do we replace it with....Life (Cordnoy)
My Thread    My Other Thread

Re: Glad to be here 18 Oct 2015 14:49 #266242

  • cordnoy
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eslaasos wrote:
cordnoy wrote:
eslaasos wrote:
Maybe you two can explain this to me.

You have both given me the feeling many times that there is an inherent danger in introspection that is ostensibly intended to further recovery, because it is to some extent the same self-obsession that got us in trouble in the first place.

One of the most frequent terms I hear from Dov is self-serving.

How did Dov know that Serenity's last post was self-serving, and not an honest cheshbon hanefesh? And how did Serenity know he was right?

Do you have to be sober and working the steps for a year to be able to recognize the difference?


I am neither, but I recognize it at times. I post on the threads as well like that. I don't know if I'm right at all and others disagree. That's fine as well.


Sometimes I feel like you have only one absolute truth - I live only for today.


Is there a need for more?
My email: thenewme613@hotmail.com
My threads: Mikvah Night - Page 1, Page 2, Page 3, Last Page

https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/1-Break-Free/210029-Tryin
:pinch: Warning: Spoiler!
My job: Punchin' bag of GYE - "NeshamaInCharge"
Quote from the chevra: "Is Cordnoy truly a Treasure Island pirate from the Southern Seas?"

MY POSTS ARE NOT WRITTEN AS A MODERATOR UNLESS EXPLICITLY STATED.

Re: Glad to be here 18 Oct 2015 14:52 #266244

  • cordnoy
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cordnoy wrote:
eslaasos wrote:
Maybe you two can explain this to me.

You have both given me the feeling many times that there is an inherent danger in introspection that is ostensibly intended to further recovery, because it is to some extent the same self-obsession that got us in trouble in the first place.

One of the most frequent terms I hear from Dov is self-serving.

How did Dov know that Serenity's last post was self-serving, and not an honest cheshbon hanefesh? And how did Serenity know he was right?

Do you have to be sober and working the steps for a year to be able to recognize the difference?


I am neither, but I recognize it at times. I post on the threads as well like that. I don't know if I'm right at all and others disagree. That's fine as well.


I wrote the above for two reasons:
1. Serenity is doin' yoemen's (?) work and experiencin' tremendous success; no reason to get down and beat himself up for somethin'....that's the point of introspection; step 10 and 11.

2. Others (if there are any) who are not workin', at times, are spinnin' their wheels with all this fancy shmancy (?) deep psychological thinkin' stuff.
My email: thenewme613@hotmail.com
My threads: Mikvah Night - Page 1, Page 2, Page 3, Last Page

https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/1-Break-Free/210029-Tryin
:pinch: Warning: Spoiler!
My job: Punchin' bag of GYE - "NeshamaInCharge"
Quote from the chevra: "Is Cordnoy truly a Treasure Island pirate from the Southern Seas?"

MY POSTS ARE NOT WRITTEN AS A MODERATOR UNLESS EXPLICITLY STATED.

Re: Glad to be here 18 Oct 2015 16:40 #266256

  • eslaasos
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cordnoy wrote:
cordnoy wrote:
eslaasos wrote:
Maybe you two can explain this to me.

You have both given me the feeling many times that there is an inherent danger in introspection that is ostensibly intended to further recovery, because it is to some extent the same self-obsession that got us in trouble in the first place.

One of the most frequent terms I hear from Dov is self-serving.

How did Dov know that Serenity's last post was self-serving, and not an honest cheshbon hanefesh? And how did Serenity know he was right?

Do you have to be sober and working the steps for a year to be able to recognize the difference?


I am neither, but I recognize it at times. I post on the threads as well like that. I don't know if I'm right at all and others disagree. That's fine as well.


I wrote the above for two reasons:
1. Serenity is doin' yoemen's (?) work and experiencin' tremendous success; no reason to get down and beat himself up for somethin'....that's the point of introspection; step 10 and 11.

2. Others (if there are any) who are not workin', at times, are spinnin' their wheels with all this fancy shmancy (?) deep psychological thinkin' stuff.


Ouch. Well, I asked you to keep me honest, so thank you.
Quotes that speak to me
What do we replace it with....Life (Cordnoy)
My Thread    My Other Thread

Re: Glad to be here 18 Oct 2015 16:57 #266258

  • cordnoy
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eslaasos wrote:
cordnoy wrote:
cordnoy wrote:
eslaasos wrote:
Maybe you two can explain this to me.

You have both given me the feeling many times that there is an inherent danger in introspection that is ostensibly intended to further recovery, because it is to some extent the same self-obsession that got us in trouble in the first place.

One of the most frequent terms I hear from Dov is self-serving.

How did Dov know that Serenity's last post was self-serving, and not an honest cheshbon hanefesh? And how did Serenity know he was right?

Do you have to be sober and working the steps for a year to be able to recognize the difference?


I am neither, but I recognize it at times. I post on the threads as well like that. I don't know if I'm right at all and others disagree. That's fine as well.


I wrote the above for two reasons:
1. Serenity is doin' yoemen's (?) work and experiencin' tremendous success; no reason to get down and beat himself up for somethin'....that's the point of introspection; step 10 and 11.

2. Others (if there are any) who are not workin', at times, are spinnin' their wheels with all this fancy shmancy (?) deep psychological thinkin' stuff.


Ouch. Well, I asked you to keep me honest, so thank you.


Never said I was referrin' to you.
I said: Others (if there are any) who are not workin'....
My email: thenewme613@hotmail.com
My threads: Mikvah Night - Page 1, Page 2, Page 3, Last Page

https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/1-Break-Free/210029-Tryin
:pinch: Warning: Spoiler!
My job: Punchin' bag of GYE - "NeshamaInCharge"
Quote from the chevra: "Is Cordnoy truly a Treasure Island pirate from the Southern Seas?"

MY POSTS ARE NOT WRITTEN AS A MODERATOR UNLESS EXPLICITLY STATED.

Re: Glad to be here 20 Oct 2015 02:20 #266394

  • serenity
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I can't be reminded of the 9th step promises enough.

The AA Promises

1. If we are painstaking about this phase of our development, we will be amazed
before we are half way through.
2. We are going to know a new freedom and a new happiness.
3. We will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it.
4. We will comprehend the word serenity and we will know peace.
5. No matter how far down the scale we have gone, we will see how our experience
can benefit others.
6. That feeling of uselessness and self-pity will disappear.
7. We will lose interest in selfish things and gain interest in our fellows.
8. Self-seeking will slip away.
9. Our whole attitude and outlook upon life will change.
10. Fear of people and of economic insecurity will leave us.
11. We will intuitively know how to handle situations which used to baffle us.
12. We will suddenly realize that God is doing for us what we could not do for
ourselves
Are these extravagant promises? We think not. They are being fulfilled among us -
sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly. They will always materialize if we work for them.

Alcoholics Anonymous p83-84
Much Hatzlacha!

My Threads:
Glad to be here
Don't slip it hurts
Lions & Tigers & Internet, Oh My!

--"ולא המדרש עיקר, אלא המעשה"
--"To promise not to do a thing is the surest way in the world to make a body want to go and do that very thing." Mark Twain
--"If, when you honestly want to, you find you cannot quit entirely, or if when drinking (or lusting), you have little control over the amount you take, you are probably alcoholic (or sexaholic)." AA Big Book P. 45. Parenthesis added.
--You hit rock bottom when you decide to stop digging.

Re: Glad to be here 20 Oct 2015 02:27 #266395

  • gevura shebyesod
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#4 must be your favorite
!אנא עבדא דקודשא בריך הוא

וּבְיָדְךָ כֹּחַ וּגְבוּרָה וּבְיָדְךָ לְגַדֵּל וּלְחַזֵּק לַכֹּל


"If it would be so easy there wouldn't be a GYE, but if it would be impossible there also wouldn't be a GYE."
"Sometimes a hard decision leads to an easier outcome."
- General Grant


My story: guardyoureyes.com/forum/19-Introduce-Yourself/111583-hello-my-friends

Re: Glad to be here 22 Oct 2015 16:40 #266648

  • serenity
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Easy does it chevra.
Much Hatzlacha!

My Threads:
Glad to be here
Don't slip it hurts
Lions & Tigers & Internet, Oh My!

--"ולא המדרש עיקר, אלא המעשה"
--"To promise not to do a thing is the surest way in the world to make a body want to go and do that very thing." Mark Twain
--"If, when you honestly want to, you find you cannot quit entirely, or if when drinking (or lusting), you have little control over the amount you take, you are probably alcoholic (or sexaholic)." AA Big Book P. 45. Parenthesis added.
--You hit rock bottom when you decide to stop digging.

Re: Glad to be here 23 Oct 2015 01:59 #266688

  • serenity
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"Expectations are the construction of resentment" From the night call, Yehuda.

It might have been ""Expectations are the construct of resentment"

or more likely "Expectations are Resentment under Construction"

anyway, I think we got the point
Much Hatzlacha!

My Threads:
Glad to be here
Don't slip it hurts
Lions & Tigers & Internet, Oh My!

--"ולא המדרש עיקר, אלא המעשה"
--"To promise not to do a thing is the surest way in the world to make a body want to go and do that very thing." Mark Twain
--"If, when you honestly want to, you find you cannot quit entirely, or if when drinking (or lusting), you have little control over the amount you take, you are probably alcoholic (or sexaholic)." AA Big Book P. 45. Parenthesis added.
--You hit rock bottom when you decide to stop digging.
Last Edit: 23 Oct 2015 04:30 by serenity.

Re: Glad to be here 23 Oct 2015 02:43 #266692

  • shlomo24
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serenity wrote:
"Expectations are the construction of resentment" From the night call, Yehuda.


and the mother of frustration
If you're an LGBTQ or LGBTQ-questioning person and looking for someone who can understand you, feel free to reach out. I promise no judgement and to try and listen the best I can. 

Email: iam24zman@gmail.com

Re: Glad to be here 23 Oct 2015 16:36 #266711

  • cordnoy
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9494 wrote:
Or as one of the members here used to have in his signature (I believe it was either DMS1234 or Tehillim Zugger)

"The reason that Im actng like a pregnant women is that I am expecting - I should be accepting!"


it's TZ's line (I believe), but others have in their signature.
My email: thenewme613@hotmail.com
My threads: Mikvah Night - Page 1, Page 2, Page 3, Last Page

https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/1-Break-Free/210029-Tryin
:pinch: Warning: Spoiler!
My job: Punchin' bag of GYE - "NeshamaInCharge"
Quote from the chevra: "Is Cordnoy truly a Treasure Island pirate from the Southern Seas?"

MY POSTS ARE NOT WRITTEN AS A MODERATOR UNLESS EXPLICITLY STATED.

Re: Glad to be here 26 Oct 2015 02:28 #266831

  • serenity
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Just a reminder to self that sharing helps when I can give over my experience, hope and strength. That giving advice to people may not be helpful and may be detrimental. In the words of GYE:

"It's best to share what has worked for us in our own experiences rather than trying to think up good advice for the person we are chatting with. We are not here to play therapist/rabbi, we are here as people who could relate to each other because we've been through similar situations. Sometimes just being understanding, even if we don't have all the answers, is helpful."
Much Hatzlacha!

My Threads:
Glad to be here
Don't slip it hurts
Lions & Tigers & Internet, Oh My!

--"ולא המדרש עיקר, אלא המעשה"
--"To promise not to do a thing is the surest way in the world to make a body want to go and do that very thing." Mark Twain
--"If, when you honestly want to, you find you cannot quit entirely, or if when drinking (or lusting), you have little control over the amount you take, you are probably alcoholic (or sexaholic)." AA Big Book P. 45. Parenthesis added.
--You hit rock bottom when you decide to stop digging.
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