tried to break an addiction for 'acting out' many times. I bh no longer look at inappropriate material on the Internet, but my problem still continues.
Whenever I reach about 10 days clean it gets almost impossible to carry on.
Any stimulus throughout the day will send me over the edge, even the tiniest thought or feeling.
I feel that due to me having been clean for that long, my brain is constantly compensating with inappropriate thoughts.
How am I meant to carry on? I feel that if I stay clean any longer my whole day will be occupied by bad thoughts and blood rushes.
Surely it's better to act out for 5 mins a day rather than have thoughts 24 hours a day?

mitzvaman613 wrote:


that is the yetzer hora saying that, if u get past the threshhold of making it without acting out (even if you have the thoughts) eventually you will have the thoughts less. also why are u constantly thinking about it? [i have the same issue as you btw] maybe you should find something to occupy ur mind then? focus on the next positive thing that u have to do and prepare yourself for it (ex. learning or going to minyan)

Hello and welcome mitzvahman.
You came to the right place. you are doing great being able to go 10 days at a time.
But it would be a lot of help if you share some more info. like age or if you are married ....
The main thing is stick around And keep on trucking.

Welcome mitzvahman!! Are you under Uncle Moishe's contract?

It's great that you are here. What did you do to stop looking at provocative material? Have you stopped looking at all provocative material?

I ask that because when I first came I thought that I had a problem with porn, AlexEliezer kindly hinted that I ask myself if that was really the case, was I guarding my eyes on the streets? with family? At home?

Lust has many ways that it can get it's fuel, and I need to cut out all those in order to be sober.

Keep on posting brother!! Keep on Trucking!!

In reply to all you guys above:
I'm in yeshiva in EY. BH my learning, social life, family life are all going great...so I don't think it's an issue of lack of positive things to do, I'm in the Beis Hamedrash the rest of the time!
I feel that I act out based on habit and hirhurim rather than online or on the street stimuli.

I'm just trying to help, maybe some of these questions will help clear things a little.

Can you identify any triggers that you notice trigger you to want to act out? Stress? Boredom? anything?

Not that I can identify. That's probably how it started years ago, but now I think it's just habit.

Have you tried TaPHSiK yet? It seems that in your case this would be a very good start. You can find the details here.

Keep on posting!

Mitsva man. I feel you. Be ththank god you getting to 10. You remember how hard it was to get passed a day??!?!? Well that's were I'm out I haven't had a day in about 6 years. It's practical y impossible for to get to day 1. I feel you but look at what you have and what you did or do to make it to ten days and maybe let me know. Because you doing good b. Every day that you don't do it or have it done to you is a blessing in my eyes.

A powerful post Nabill. Maybe a can help? I was also every day for a long time.
Pidaini, I'm a bit worried that if I fall whilst on the taphsic program it will cause me to lose respect and value for the idea of shevuos and Hashem's holy name. What do you think?

I don't think so.

Read through it very well, the double fence. Think about what you need to do beforehand, what your "penalties" will be, make sure you will go through with them, but that you won't want to do it.

Put some time, thought, and effort into it, it's worth it!!

WELCOME MM613! It's nice to have you with us. Are you ever able to go more than 10 days, say when you are having a good zman or something where you are occupied with good stuff.

Try reading some of the dov quotes (see link in my signature). He has a post called "Nuclear Reset".

You say it's better to act out 5 minutes... Do you sense that your urges are getting stronger, more frequent, do you feel like you need more to stimulate you...

What I'm getting at is "the more you feed it, the more you need it". So usually if you give in, it will progressively get worse. Do you see that happening to you over time?

Just some more questions. Food for thought.

mitzvaman613 wrote:


Oh boy I remember that line of reasoning! It's like seeing a friend from school for the first time in years.

Short answer is no. A homicidal maniac could use the same logic to kill just one person a day and then go back to learning.

I used to learn all day in yeshiva except for a short break to go to the bathroom and fall every afternoon seder. There is a better way.

WELCOME!!!!!


I would also suggest Dr. Sorotskin (find his link under gibbor's signature) Perhaps you are a perfectionist? In any case it seems like you are really hard on yourself! Take a deep breath and give yourself a break!

Check out the GYE Handbook and Skep's tips

Had my first fall since I joined.
Majorly demotivated.
Was such a battle to get to 11, now back to 0.
What now?