It's amazing how things can change in a week. The last few days have been a big struggle. Sleep has been at a premium and work is extremely stressful. B"H stopping here on the site and reading through some of the posts from other people has helped me regain some of the focus, but I know I need to redouble my efforts to make sure I am not taking the first steps on those tempting slippery slopes.

Hope everyone else is doing well...

Glad to hear from you!

Wanted to thank everyone here. I had a real danger of "taking the first sip" today and the inspiration from people here kept me from doing so. I was surprised at my self control in removing myself from the situation, and had echoes of posts in my head.

Thank you!!

(Reading this all sounds very vague so I'll expound... I enjoy mixed martial arts and sometimes watch matches. In the lineup of fights on TV there was a women's fight including the best female fighter in the world. While I am not particularly interested in watching women fight, I was really curious about this particular fighter, but realized it could be a very bad first step to take, and shut the TV off and walked away.)

Hatzileini Na wrote:


Maybe we should have our own private MMA section, where we can discuss Silva, Henderson, TJ, Rousey, Kat, Cowboy and more.
I try not to mix my addictions. No good for the bowels.

b'hatzlachah

cordnoy wrote:


I'm good as long as we stick to male fighters I'm good

It's been a few days since I posted. Went away for the weekend and had a slip when I kept my phone in my room and could not fall asleep until it was close to morning. Didn't go to anything that most of the world would view as really inappropriate, but it was things I should not be seeing and lead to a wet dream.

It's a stupid slip, since I have a very simple "no phone in the room" rule at home which works wonders. I'm not sure how others count slips vs. falls. In my mind it's a slip because it didn't lead to masturbation (and I didn't view anything pornographic.)

Anyone have any opinions/thoughts?

Veiter

Hatzileini Na wrote:


The good female fights last anywhere between 14 seconds and 36 seconds....don't watch the intros and the joe rogan post match interview....besides he has the iq of a pea.

cordnoy wrote:


For some it may not be but for me that's a serious example of "dipping my toe in the water" for a couple of reasons:

1) I find people who are talented etc. far more attractive than people who are not (the look of having your head bashed in my detract, but there's at least one fighter who has not had to deal with that much...)

2) It's never just about the fight. It's reading the background info, checking out stats etc.

In summation I'll stick to the male fighters lol

Right now I feel pretty strongly about this since recently things have been exceedingly stressful and I have not been sleeping well; two factors that have caused major trouble in the past. I have to make sure I don't take the "first sip."

Hatzileini Na wrote:


Even in a cage, I wouldn't fight you on this one.

I've passed 90 days. While I am happy to have reached this point, it is not my first time and I know that it does not mean that I can relax the efforts in this area. And considering it is the middle of the night and I am by my computer and not sleeping, some of the primary triggers are definitely still challenges (like struggling to sleep...)

I recently bought a book called "A Gently Guide to the 12 Steps" which I hope will help me stay focused on the journey.

Looking back a bit, I do think what has helped me the most has been becoming a more healthy person. B"H I have gotten better at dealing with stress, recognizing triggers and self-soothing in appropriate fashion (playing guitar etc.)

I was to thank everyone for the continued support and Bez"H look forward and pray for continued growth in all areas of life for myself and everyone here (and everyone not here as well...)

Very nice....Keep it up!

Mazel tov!

Hatzileini Na wrote:


The tone of your post is that of a healthy person, understanding himself and doing what must be done.

Hatzlocho!

Thanks to everyone for the support.

yiraishamaim wrote:


I like to think of it as "working on healthy." People often talk about whether someone is or isn't healthy, and I used to wonder/obsess of whether I was healthy. Over time I have learned that I cannot make myself healthy (certainly overnight). Others might look and judge (in both directions, overstating how "unhealthy" or "healthy" I am) and that may not be comfortable, but trying to remain focused even if I know others are whispering about some things being ridiculous is key. And not getting caught up in the praise of others because I know there is more work to do. Staying grounded, trying to grow and see things as they truly are...

Also recognizing that there is no magic place called "healthy" where I will always want to do the right thing and be in perfect control. What I can do is try to take steps towards healthy. I can try to be honest with myself, and try to accept that even if it means admitting I am not doing all I can at times, because by making it safe to be honest, there's a hope that over time I will improve and grow.

Thanks

Just had a situation where I found myself with access to some things I generally don't and it hit me hard. B"H in a couple of seconds I caught myself and I was able to shake the craziness and regain focus. It's a reminder that I needed to not get overconfident. A fall can be just one overconfidence away...