Wow, it's been over 3 years, and I'm back here again.
Since my original post (guardyoureyes.com/forum/19-Introduce-Yourself/103162-Just-joined), things have changed somewhat - I'm now working (though learning at night), not married, but I still have issues with what I'm looking at and reading online, and with MZ"L.
It's had its ups and downs, but especially recently, I find myself involved in things too much, and I really need to get a grip on myself and move on.
I don't find myself overly obsessed with anything - while I'm busy at work or with other things, I'm busy, but at night, or when I am otherwise not busy, I end up looking at things online and being MZ"L.
Not yet being married probably, in some ways, makes it more difficult, but at the same time, maybe it's an opportunity to get myself together before I find the right one and get past what's currently holding me down.
I tried the GYE site and 90 day chart a while back, but after a while, I just got into a bad groove, and was just updating the chart every time I fell, without worrying about it.
I'm not really sure what is pushing me to try again, but a few things that I recently saw inspired me to give it another go.
I think that it's something I can do if I put my mind to it, and especially with the realization that life is about controlling yourself and pushing yourself to do things that may not be so easy and you may not want to do.
I didn't do well last time, but I really think that I can do it this time.
Thanks GYE for "taking me back" and for having a place like this available!

Welcome back to the chevrah!!! I wasn't here three years ago, but that doesn't really make a difference.

Did you just try the chart with nothing else? Have you spoken to anyone about your struggles? Have you read the handbook?

It's good that you're back to try again, that takes a lot of strength, so now that you started again.........KOMT!!!!!!!!!11

Welcome

Don't be a stranger.

Let us know how the first steps of actions are workin' out.

b'hatzlachah

Welcome back! You mention the 90 chart and "controlling yourself". Perhaps a change of tactics is called for. So far your methodology seems to be what most of us used for years (I know I did), and what we hated hearing from our parents/teachers - "just try harder". Maybe you need to try something "different".

Take a look at the handbook and forum. There are lots of good ideas here.

Welcome back!

I too worry about mechanistically falling and then updating the chart, falling, and then updating the chart. I see how it could easily spiral into a routine. And yeah, it's not an ideal situation. But doing that also takes a lot of strength, a lot, a lot of strength! I don't know about you, but after I fall, especially after I devote an inordinate amount of time (hours, sometimes!)to acting out, I suffer from what I call, "The Malaise." It's like an extremely depressed, drained state in which all I could do is sink into darkness and wallow in shame. I don't want to do anything -- really, nothing, least of all bring myself to update some chart that chronicles my falls.

So, while you seem to be painting your past routine as some sort of defeat (don't say the "d" word around here, as you know...it makes the members mad ), I see it as a very impressive success. And you're back here!

So count all of this as a huge victory, and, again, welcome back!

B'hatzlacha!

WELCOME!!!!!!!

Its great to have you back! Please stick around this time!

Why don't you tell us a little bit more about yourself!

Thanks all, appreciate the Chizuk and ideas.
dms1234 - what would you like to know?

9494 wrote:


If you use eBay, thank you, already got the info.

Posted: 21 May 2014 08:51 PM PDT

New York – eBay Inc said that hackers raided its network three months ago, stealing some 145 million user records from a database in what is poised to go down as one of the biggest data breaches in history based on the number of accounts compromised. It advised customers to change their passwords immediately...

For those following - so far things are going very well, and I'm hoping they'll continue this way!

Great to hear! Keep on keeping on...

thanks for the update!!

What's working? what are you doing?

I was keeping my mind on other things, which worked out well... until today.
Today, I was MZ"L, more because I was stressed, and I didn't see/look at anything online, just did it.
Updated the chart, and I'm now back up and running, going to do better this time!