Hi all!
I'm in Yeshiva, pretty Yeshivish, but I've had my access to and interest in technology.
While I've been trying to use my knowledge to help others get the right filters and prevent themselves from anything inappropriate, unfortunately I've had my own struggles with those same issues.
I was looking at and reading different things online and being Motzi Zera Livatala.
It's been a roller coaster ride - there have been times when I was doing better, and times I was doing worse, but I was never fully "out of the dark". I've B"H never really let it get me down, but at the same time, I wasn't really trying to deal with it and work on it.
I recently started with Shidduchim, and I decided that for my own sake, and the sake of whoever my future wife is, that I need to take steps to make sure I can be in control of myself, and stay in control.
I signed up for the 90 Day Journey, and I already have had 5 clean, good days, so I hope I'm on the right path.
I'm confident that with some work, self control, Siyata Dishmaya, and help from others that I can do it. The self satisfaction alone that I get from being in control of myself should hopefully help keep me going, but I know that I can still easily fall at any time, unless I'm constantly on guard to not let my self fall, and trying to improve and reach new heights.
I'm going to IY"H go through the different handbooks over the next few days, but I decided to post already now, as soon as I join, to reinforce my commitment and so I can become part of what looks like a great support and encouragement group.
Thanks to everyone who is involved here, and for all the help that the site and forum offers.

Yeshiva Bachur

Welcome, boy I must say you put bein hazmanim to good use! As you well know not everybody that looks at shmutz is an addict, and not everydy can keep their hands "out of their pants". Many people/bachurim/avreichim/even some rabanim, on this site have already escalated their "habit" to the point of an addiction. However there is a benefit for any struggler, to be found somewhere on GYE. Please read the enclosed welcome package (I didn't type it) and gain a clearer perspective of where you hold, and what tools will suit you.

But honestly, it's very impressive that you-re here already on the first day of bein hazmanim! The sfas emes on parshas Ha'azinu concludes that the hachana for a mitzva is greater than the mitzva itself! I'm sure you can rationalise for yourself a few good reasons why working עריות serves as a preparation for yetzias mitsrayim ערות הארץ. And that's why we don't say tachnun between yom kippur and sukos (ayin sham), because hachanas hamitzva provides an even better segulah than mitzvas yeshivas sukah.

Anyway... the package i mentioned.  please read the GYE Handbook, and work through the tools....
Welcome to our community, you have finally come home!

We're all in the same boat here. Tzuras Rabim Chatzi Nechama   Once you've arrived, there's no turning back. Everyone here will just grab a hold of you and pull you up with them!

GYE Program in a Nutshell: (Right Click the link and press "Save Link/Target As" to save the PDF file to your computer).

'Guard Your Eyes' offers a unique approach to helping people by recognizing that there are many different levels in the struggle for "Shmiras Ainayim" and "Shmiras Habris". After studying the experience of hundreds of religious strugglers over the past few years, we put together the suggestions and recommendations that we feel are best for the various levels. We divided the tools, features and services that GYE offers into 8 different levels. This "GYE Program in a Nutshell can help people quickly identify at what level of the struggle they are at, and which tools and features would help them most at their particular level.

Here are some quick things you can do to help you jump straight into recovery:

1) Make sure to install a strong filter. It will be almost impossible to break free of this while having all the garbage within a mouse click away. See this page for one good filter option, along with instructions on how to install it best – and give away the password to our "filter Gabai"… See this page for another 20 (or so) filter ideas and information… We also highly advise installing "Reporting Software" such as webchaver.org to give you some accountability, because filters alone are usually not sufficient and they can often be bypassed.

2) Join the daily Chizuk e-mail lists to get fresh chizuk every day.

3) Scientific studies have shown that it takes 90 days to change a neural thought pattern that was ingrained in the brain through addictive behaviors. Did you join the 90 day chart on-line? Sign up over here.

4) Post away on this forum! You will get tons of daily Chizuk and support. This disease can't be beat alone. It works best when you get out of isolation!

5) GuardYourEyes also offers many free anonymous phone conferences where you can join a group of other frum Yidden, along with an experienced sponsor. See www.guardyoureyes.org > Tools > Phone Conferences for many different options. Our conferences are taking place every day, morning, noon and night… Joining a phone group would be a tremendous step in the right direction for you and help you learn freedom from this addiction. Not only will you learn the secret of the 12-Steps – which is known to be the world's most powerful program for beating addiction having helped millions world wide, but the daily call will be another way of GETTING OUT OF ISOLATION and connecting with others who are going through what you are.

6) If you need more general guidance, write to our e-mail helpline at gye.help@gmail.com or call our hotline at 646-600-8100.

7) Download and read the "Guard Your Eyes Handbook". This handbook outlines the GYE approach in detail, and makes our network much more effective and helpful for people. The handbook has two parts:

A) The first part, "Attitude & Perspective", details 30 basic principles to help us maintain the proper attitude and perspective on this struggle. Here are some examples: Understanding what we are up against, what it is that Hashem wants from us, how we can use this struggle for tremendous growth, how we can deal with bad thoughts, discovering how to redirect the power of our souls, understanding that every little bit counts, learning how to bounce back up after a fall, and so on and so forth…

The second part, "The 18 Tools", detail suggested tools and techniques, in progressive order, beginning with the most basic and fundamental approaches to dealing with this addiction, and continuing down through increasingly earnest and powerful methods. No matter what level our addiction may have advanced to, we will be able to find the right tools to break free in this handbook!

May Hashem be with you!

Moiradiggg!

Welcome aboard ybachur!

E. ben Durdayah

Nissan is a great time to make this commitment.  There's much to offer on this site.  Make GYE your new internet habit.  Hatzlacha!

Thanks all for the help and encouragement!!

Welcome to the forum, and lots of luck to you!

--Eye.

Hi ybacher
First of all let me give an open and warm welcome
You are now part of the greatest most awesome group of people in the entire universe (including me    )

Stick to this forum for..... ah.. oh
To be inspired and shaken up to the core
To laugh your head off

So come on brother lets do it, we could do it.... together

I wish you much hatslucha
your brother

Trying to get some opinions here -
I've been doing well for the past few days. Life has been busy, which is a good thing, but I'm starting to get confident that I can do this. The problem is, maybe I'm being too confident...
I think I can build off my confidence and accomplishment so far to move on and keep things going, but at the same time, I don't want to have myself think that I'm doing well when I shouldn't be...
Is that a problem?
Thanks all!

For myself, the only way I can stay clean is by remembering that I CAN'T DO THIS.  I need help.  I need to ask Hashem for help.  I need to reach out to other people.  I need to keep on posting.  Regularly.  As soon as I stop doing these things, I start getting weak again, no matter how long I have managed to stay clean.  I have fallen after 90 days, and I have fallen after half a year.  Why?  Because I started to think that I CAN DO THIS!  I got lazy about reaching out.

--Eye.

To say you will NEVER fall again.....  how much money would you bet on that?

Your game-plan is to push yourself once, and space the falls/slips as far appart as possibe, and come back hre as soon as you mess up

Keep trucking!!!!
KUTGW

Thanks all for the Chizuk, you're 100% right.

Welcome aboard! Everyone here is awesome and super friendly and ready to help.

You should keep asking peoples opinions becuase there are many people here who really know what they are talking about.

Hatzlacha Raba and have a great shabbos!

ybachur wrote on 08 Apr 2011 04:18:


Just keep on posting.

--Eye.

Where's the main forum, for other questions?
Unless it's better to reply here?
Thanks again to everyone, have a good Shabbos.

Fell once today - was Motzi Zera, but didn't look at or really think about anything Assur, maybe partially because I hadn't done anything for a while.
Back up and running, not even bothering to let it get me down.
Just posting so everyone knows about it, and so I can get some more Chizuk...