unanumun wrote:



Teach me how does this rule work i get to look for 3 seconds with no second look. were do you get this from sounds like something that might be able to work for me. please elaborate.

you don't 'get' to look for three seconds.
if you look for that amount of time, you don't have to freak out...like you say; that doesn't constitute a second look.

Nah, it will forever be unamamanan

Btw, unamannanan, are you going to uman this week?

I dont think he's going to uman so now he can be unauman.

dms1234 wrote:


will there be an oink meeting there?

Hey I just noticed I went platinum. I thought that they would make an exception for me and label me uranium border.
Either way it is a tremendous privilege to reach such a milestone.

Dee Dee, two thumbs up!

Congrats on your milestone, Oowny.

BTW, I have yet to meet a nameless person with so many names!!!
:-)

Where's the uranium border?

Does that have something to do with the nuclear plants in Iran? Are you really just a spy?

unanumun wrote:


uranium border!!!!
oh my. gotta keep away from that border. borderline suicide.
what did you say? its supposed to be uranium Boarder?. like living with an A-bomb? gee, that'll definitely frighten any lust for next 225 years. ודוק.
either way congrats on your plats.
hatzlocha on the highs and the flats.
and even with a nameless username,
you go down with fabulous fame
as a great poster and friend
may heaven bless you and send

a k'siva v'chasima toiva.

Mazel tov on reaching this milestone. I remember how pumped i was to finally make it past being a "fresh boarder".

wrote this email to somebody today. thought it would be a good idea to post it here as well.

After reading yesterday's chizzuk email and remembering about the 12 steps I realized .......
No not going to the meetings and book readings but rather it would probably be enough for you to think it through on your own.
If you ever learnt a good mussar Seder (or chassidus -whatever it is you do) and somehow I feel you have , you are not a newcomer to working on yourself.
All you probably are missing is the tools -the derech to work on lust. Not the ratzon nor the ability to work on yourself. Which is probably part of what is driving you nuts. I know now looking back that it was part of what was driving me nuts. I can work on kaas successfully. I can work on bitachon. I can work on davening with kavana. So why can't I work on stopping to watch porn and act out?
The answer was provided, finally after years of struggling, when I came to GYE. Lust is different than the other things I worked on. It is different than Shmiras halashon and being Dan lekaf zechus etc. Why? I am not sure. I can probably think of a reason. But what is the difference? That is the metzius.
So when I discovered this whole mussag of realizing I am powerless to do this on my own and I have to surreneder my lust and stuff, it opened up new vistas for me.
Also I discovered the concept of using porn and acting out as an escape from other things. Not just a tayva.
And I have been clean ever since. And after a half year of work, sometimes hard work and sometimes easier, I honestly feel that for now at least i don't have a pull to watch porn. I have moved on past it.
I do have issues with lust sometimes. Shmiras eynayim. Hirhurim when in the street. But it all has become manageable. Sometimes I am successful at stopping it right away. And sometimes it takes a bit longer. But it has come back to normal proportions.
Hope some of this helps you.


After I posted this I noticed it was my 400th post. While there is no real significance, somehow the round number means something to me. And it was quite appropriate that this post should be a round number

I remember havin' that feelin' - vividly - sadly not as vividly as other feelin's, but I remember it.

Keep on inspirin' others!

b'hatzlachah

unanumun wrote:


Oh well. so much for that. The urge came back.
I have been having a tough few days with things that are going on in my life, and sure enough yesterday I found myself having an urge to escape back to my porn. Thankfully I had already left the office for the day.
I had a feeling of lust while driving around on some errands. I realized something interesting about my feelings. At that point I felt that if I had a choice between going home and being with my wife (theoretically, because it definitely wasn't shayich at the the time) or going to watch porn, I would have prefered the porn.
It made me realize that it wasn't about sex at all. It was just wanting to run to the porn as an escape from all that was going on.
Before GYE when I had those feelings I didn't fully understand what it was that I was craving. Just understanding what it was that I really needed was a big help.
I reached out to two of my GYE friends. It helped tremendously. It pulled me through. One of the two had been at one of the mekomos hakedoishim and got out of his car and went back in to say a kapittel tehillim for me. It brought tears to my eyes.
I realized I am not in this alone anymore. I have friends I can discuss this with (even if I still only know some of them only by their user names) People I can open up to, and they are there for me when I need them.
today is better. gonna keep on trucking.....
To be continued..... (I am sure, as much as I wish it would be the end)

I've also found that reaching out has saved me on several occasions from going to porn and acting out. KOMT

Gee. What a eureka moment,
I have been here eight months and i just realized today that if you click on the spoilers there are hidden messages. I feel like i missed out on half of the gye experience.