Yes indeed I thought about the connection when I saw that idea of sameach bechelko. I am trying to work on the idea of sameach bechelko in the small things and especially when I get a feeling of atzvus, it has helped me already several times from sinking into a feeling of depression.

I had an interesting experience last night, only because of all the reading and thinking that I have been doing in GYE lately.
After all the kids were sleeping and it came time to be with my wife, lo and behold she was also sleeping. It wasn't so easy to wake her up so I basically gave up for the night.
But then once I got passed my own desire issue, and was basically ready to just go to sleep, I realized that I have a mitzvah of ona to make her happy and for her sake I shouldn't just give up. (she had told me to wake her up) so I took a brake and read a sefer I have in the house about mitzvos ona and focused on my chiyuv to make my wife happy.
So i went back to the room and focused on my wife's enjoyment and slowly she woke up and... we lived happily ever after. It was the first time in maybe 14 years that I went into it in such a giving fashion. something special indeed.

Thats great! But easy please. Careful. This isn't the bb forum and someone of us are single and fragile

KOL!!!

Sorry. I guess you are right. I will try to be more careful.

I am officially a tzadik (at least according to the GYE 90 day rule book) hope they take GYE's recommendation up there.

Actually the effect it has had on my life is definitely bringing me closer to being a tzaddik. I am getting more in control of myself, working on myself.

• Better Shalom Bayis
• Started Learning shmiras halashon (there is a direct connection - I will post that separately eventually.)
• Started being kovea itim latorah, since shavuos. I go learn the same time every day (except friday and shabbos but I did it a different time each day) for two hours i shut off both my phones and become dead to the world. it's an amazing accomplishment for me. years in the making.
• Davening is starting to come back together
• working on simcha.

So thanks to all you out there that have been part of this amazing transition.

KUTGW!

ahhhhhhhhWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!

KuTgW!!

May we all be zocheh to continue climbing and climbing, one step at a time, one foot in front of the other!!

Kol Hakavod! Keep up the great work!

I found myself today very irritable. I think I had nisyonos of kaas that I haven't had in years. I don't think the issue is because I don't have my fix. that issue was a sadness and depression one that I was managing to get control of.
All of a sudden I found myself so irritable today which is very uncharacteristic for me. Any suggestions?
I had a machsava, someone happened to tell me yesterday that the Gaon said that the two main yetzer haras are kaasani and tayva. Perhaps because I have been working on the tayva, the balance got thrown off and the kaasani got sronger. I don't know.
I guess I am wondering that based on people's experiences, is this a normal result of curbing lust?

so 80 + days.
now the hard part comes. My wife has officialy entered into the after birth tekufa. (Mazel Tov) So now the pas besalo business goes away and I am on my own.
Sure enough today I had the worse lustfulful thoughts that I have in over a month.
I managed to catch myself somewhat, I ended up davening a real emotional tefila to Hashem this afternoon. It really helped. At first I davened that Hashem should help me overcome my yetzer harah and then my GYE training kicked in and I asked Hashem to take away the nisyonos all together.
well basicallym let the games begin.
we made it this far even though I didn't think I would. we will make it further BECAUSE I now know I can and will.

Mazal tov on your recent simcha. May your newborn child be zoche to have a tzaddik for a father.

you officially get a MAZEL TOV!!!!!!

lots of nachas from this one and all the other ones till 120 be"h.

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THANKS