Hi,

it's a great bless to have this safe place always available. One of my main triggers is the anxiety. whenever I start to feel it, I come to this site, read some stories and testimonials from other persons who are fighting like me, and I start to feel comforted.
This addiction has several branches. One of them is that I started to see it as a "little" ocasional problem. But the trhuth is that this problem absorbs all your life. I just want to say thank you to GYE, since it's a unique powerful G-d's instrument to given freedom to His childs.

We'll keep going.


Redimido

Welcome Redimido!!!!

Anxiety is part of the H.A.L.T acronym (Hunger, ANXIETY, Lonely, Tired) that are all big triggers for me.

It's great that you have where to go to look for help!!!

What are your struggles? what else do you do to keep clean (I doubt it's only reading GYE)

Welcome! Keep posting.

Hi Pidaini,

Thanks for your reply. Thanks to G-d and GYE community, I have been clean for almost 1 month, and I have fight great battles to say that! For now, the main thing i am doing to keep sober is to be near GYE! The messages are great and G-d talks just to me through them. I have learn a lot of new things in this couple of weeks. This place is my refuge. I read the Shizuk each day, both types (for prevention and addiction) and I now am starting to participate in the forums. I am running the 90 days trip, and I am convinced that my whole life and my family's life depend on this trip. This 90 days trip finish the same day that my marriage turns 5 years! So, I MUST KEEP CLEAN, to start a new stage in my life and marriage.

I try also to keep myself busy, although I should avoid to get a job addiction. I should remember each moment that my biggest need is to stay near to G-d.

In the other hand, one of my troubles right now is the same anxiety that causes the detox process. It makes me feel really miserable sometimes! Frequently I am in bad mood due this issue, and my wife should fight and tolerate me... I should start to make exercises to fight anxiety, but I am trying to get time for it. I know that exercises out will help me a lot. But the same addiction has weakened my willpower, as I read from one partner testimony. But I should keep trying.

And I should talk also about my main problem: the decrease in the sexual desire for my wife. This issue gets me very concerned. Sometime i think that i could overcome the lust addiction, but i don't know what to do about my sexual distance with my wife. I just don't feel attraction to her. And this put me in a more vulnerable position to fall. I hope both troubles could be overcome together. I hope..

Thanks and blessings.

Redimido

Keep on truckin'!

Is the sexual distance with your wife a new development?
Does she know of your struggles?

b'hatzlachah

Hi Cordnoy,

We have been working in the development of our sexual life from the very beggining of our marriage. But my addiction comes from years before my marriage. At this time, i really don't know exactly if the my sexual distance with my wife comes just a a consequence of my addiction, or if there is something else causing it, due some "defects" in her image. But anyway I think the main problem has been caused for my lust problem, which carries me to have sick fantasies and desire other women. I am very sorry... for she and for me.

Yes, she knows, and she's an angel for me. Shes gave me the GYE info. She loves me with all her heart, and I loves her too. I really want to makes her happy. But I can't find a way to revive our sexual live. Sometimes I think if i could have other woman who could satisfy my visual and sexual desire, I'd be better. But I know this is a deceit from evil.

This is my greatest fight..

Redimido

many will tell you here, and I concur, that the more porn we view, the worse our intimacy with our wife becomes. we expect our wives to have the perfect body, the perfect muscle tone, curves, etc. my problem from porn is that I expected, wanted, craved (notice the past tense..thank God...at least, most of the time) for her to wear the clothing in bedroom that I was used to seeing. it wrecked havoc in our bedroom. The more you wean yourself from what you view, the better it will be.

there might be other issues as well. I do not know.

hatzlachah onward!

Hi redimido,

I can definitely relate. Many have come here complaining about their wives. Many think their problem is because of their wives not being (fill in the blank) enough. Once they begin to clean up their side of the street things seem to almost magically get better.

Not because their wives start giving them what they (think they) want, but because intimacy based on a relationship is much more satisfying than intimacy based on lust (as counter-intuitive as that seems to us).

This thread is one of my favorite examples guardyoureyes.com/forum/17-Balei-Battims-Forum/119441-Breaking-Out-of-the-Cycle#119441 . I highly recommend reading it. It is very inspiring.

I just added a link to it in my signature.

i am late in here,
welcome Redimido

KOT!