oh, how i relate to every single word of your post...especially the "30 years" part; its the biggest advice i can give someone...you want your addiction to remain with you for 30 years? fine, i will give you the recipe, for i have tried it...a recipe for success....'success' in this context meaning 30 years of leading a sick, unmanageable life. If you don't wanna do that, kick it now!

thanks so much AE!

WELCOME godgedud! Don't be a stranger. Keep posting. Many have broken free, you can too.

גענוג געווען


I also work with computers, and this will work for %99.9 of people. I do not know how to get around these safeguards.But they didn't help me one bit. Why? I must have bought 7-8 computers and thrown them out within days after acting out, and I'm not rich. This is how bad my addiction is. I accessed P in public places, taking crazy risks, and repeated them even after I was caught by a friend.

Yet after joining this forum 2 weeks ago, I am 2 weeks clean. Even if I don't have another clean day in my life, GYE has given me a priceless gift.

GGD: you can do it to.

I forgot that the admin is supposed to check once a month.that's why for me k9 doesn't stop me if I want to fall, the admin doesn't check.

Like everyone is saying though, the filter isn't the answer.If you want to stop then the answer is on the site, if you want to make yourself feel like you're doing something so as to assuage your guilt before rosh hashana, then the answer is what גענוג געווען wrote.

I'm sorry if I'm being harsh, I wish you a k'siva v'chasimah tova and a gut gebensht yuhr with my full heart.

Thank you all much for the support you giving me. I have decided to follow your advice, I made a firm commitment to learn every day a from the handbook and come to this forum to take chizuk from the amazing people here.
I realized new that a filter is no the answer and I am really going to crack it once and for all.
I also made a commitment, that before i switch on the PC in the office I have a detailed plan which web sites I am going to use and for how long.
Yesterday was a clean day so today is day 2 - one day at a time.
I wish you a k'siva v'chasimah tova and a gut gebensht yuhr

Wow!

Thank you for taking on this challenge, may it be a zchus for you and all of lal yisroel.

Ok its day 5 today, five days since I discovered how to get around K9 in less than 30 sec.
And guess what I am still clean & I am proud of myself to seat by the computer all day in my own office and be clean, thanks to this forum & the handbook.-thanks a mill.

Hashem help me to be clean tomorrow!!!

Don't be a stranger. Come by often, read, post and keep us updated!

day 7 - very tempted to watch some p**. this time of year was always a struggle for me

it's those moments when we are most tempted to give in that we can grow the most.

godgedud wrote:


As time goes by that you've remained clean, it will get easier to resist the urges. The urges will get less intense. We are in the midst of a niddah period now. This time, I've had no urges so far. Last niddah period, I was having a very tough time with the urges. I resisted them but it was tough. I came close to caving in, though.

If you truly want to get clean, stick with it. It will pay off. I promise.

Also, for the record, I do not use a filter. I am one of those stubborn people that feels I need to do this because I NEED TO DO THIS, not because I put a technical barrier in place. Besides, I do IT for a living so I believe I can get around any filter, whether it is by breaking the filter or just using an alternative means to get to porn. I am now about two months clean, because I decided, for the first time, that I am now truly ready and really need to kick this. Previous attempts were halfhearted at best because I always kept open the possibility of going back when things don't go my way.

My attitude has changed, thanks to this site and the people here. So I am not telling you not to use a filter. But I am telling you that you need to really do a cheshbon hanefesh and need to really truly want to change. Use any tools that will help you, but the main ingredient has to be a true desire to stop. Without that, you'll only go so far. Just my $.02. Do with it as you wish, or totally ignore me if think otherwise. I am just sharing what seems to be working for me.

While a filter is obviously not foolproof, it is a wise idea even for techies who can get around it. It still makes it more difficult and puts at least a "heker" between us and porn.

I am considering removing the railing by my staircase. It should be my responsibility not to walk too close to the edge of the stairs, and I can always jump over the railing anyways if I really want to. Just sayin .

my $.02.

godgedud wrote:


Repeat after me,
"Hashem, I surrender my lust to You. Please take my lust so I can live."

Raboysai I confess I fell into the trap just now. I was relaxed thinking after 10 clean days that I'm cured from my illness, silly me. It really hurts

thanks

You learned from your mistake.Beautiful.

KOMT!